[{"id":17461299,"name":"Your Horoscope For Today","trackName":"Your Horoscope For Today","artistName":"\"Weird Al\" Yankovic","albumName":"'Weird Al' Yankovic\\The Essential Weird Al Yankovic","duration":238.837551,"instrumental":false,"hasWordSync":false,"plainLyrics":"Aquarius\nThere's travel in your future\nWhen your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\nFill that void in your pathetic life\nBy playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n\nPisces\nTry to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\nYou are the true Lord of the dance\nNo matter what those idiots at work say\n\nAries\nThe look on your face will be priceless\nWhen you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\nTrade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n\nTaurus\nYou will never find true happiness\nWhat you gonna do, cry about it?\nThe stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\nDo a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n\nGemini\nYour birthday party will be ruined\nOnce again by your explosive flatulence\nYour love life will run into trouble\nWhen your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n\nCancer, the position of Jupiter says that\nYou should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\nTry not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n\nLeo\nNow is not a good time to photocopy your butt\nAnd staple it to your bosses face, oh no\nEat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\nThen wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n\nVirgo\nAll Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\nExpect a big surprise today\nWhen you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\n\nNow you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\nThe relative position of the planets and the stars\nCould have a special deep significance or meaning\nThat exclusively applies to only you\n\nBut, let me give you my assurance that\nThese forecasts and predictions are all based on\nSolid, scientific, documented evidence\nSo you would have to be some kind of moron\nNot to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n\nWhere was I?\n\nLibra\nA big promotion is just around\nThe corner for someone much more talented than you\nLaughter is the very best medicine\nRemember that when your appendix bursts next week\n\nScorpio, get ready for an\nUnexpected trip\nWhen you fall screaming from an open window\nWork a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n\nSagittarius\nAll your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\nTake down all those naked pictures of\nErnest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n\nCapricorn\nThe stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\nBut, you know they're lying\nIf I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\nAnd never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\nThat's your horoscope for today","syncedLyrics":"[00:11.76] Aquarius\n[00:12.47] There's travel in your future\n[00:13.76] When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n[00:17.72] Fill that void in your pathetic life\n[00:19.82] By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n[00:22.55] Pisces\n[00:22.94] Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n[00:27.68] You are the true Lord of the dance\n[00:30.45] No matter what those idiots at work say\n[00:32.69] Aries\n[00:33.02] The look on your face will be priceless\n[00:34.88] When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n[00:38.43] Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n[00:42.78] Taurus\n[00:43.15] You will never find true happiness\n[00:45.73] What you gonna do, cry about it?\n[00:48.27] The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n[00:50.77] Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n[00:53.75] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[00:58.86] That's your horoscope for today\n[01:04.06] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[01:09.15] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[01:12.66] Gemini\n[01:14.22] Your birthday party will be ruined\n[01:16.19] Once again by your explosive flatulence\n[01:19.34] Your love life will run into trouble\n[01:21.05] When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n[01:23.94] Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n[01:26.28] You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n[01:29.73] Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n[01:34.32] Leo\n[01:34.64] Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n[01:37.00] And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n[01:39.88] Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n[01:41.77] Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n[01:45.72] Virgo\n[01:46.13] All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n[01:50.22] Expect a big surprise today\n[01:52.41] When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n[01:55.59] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[02:00.61] That's your horoscope for today\n[02:05.83] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[02:10.98] That's your horoscope for today\n[02:13.95] Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n[02:19.13] The relative position of the planets and the stars\n[02:21.43] Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n[02:23.48] That exclusively applies to only you\n[02:25.39] But, let me give you my assurance that\n[02:26.90] These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n[02:28.63] Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n[02:30.76] So you would have to be some kind of moron\n[02:32.46] Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n[02:35.69] Where was I?\n[02:36.12] Libra\n[02:36.58] A big promotion is just around\n[02:38.58] The corner for someone much more talented than you\n[02:41.86] Laughter is the very best medicine\n[02:43.63] Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n[02:46.33] Scorpio, get ready for an\n[02:47.74] Unexpected trip\n[02:49.17] When you fall screaming from an open window\n[02:51.85] Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n[02:56.79] Sagittarius\n[02:57.48] All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n[03:02.13] Take down all those naked pictures of\n[03:04.26] Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n[03:06.90] Capricorn\n[03:07.87] The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n[03:11.38] But, you know they're lying\n[03:12.61] If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n[03:14.47] And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n[03:17.90] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:23.05] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:28.24] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:33.35] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:38.57] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:43.67] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:48.84] That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n[03:53.97] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:57.15] ","lyricsfile":"version: '1.0'\nmetadata:\n  title: Your Horoscope For Today\n  artist: '\"Weird Al\" Yankovic'\n  album: '''Weird Al'' Yankovic\\The Essential Weird Al Yankovic'\n  duration_ms: 238838\n  instrumental: false\nlines:\n- text: Aquarius\n  start_ms: 11760\n  end_ms: 12470\n- text: There's travel in your future\n  start_ms: 12470\n  end_ms: 13760\n- text: When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n  start_ms: 13760\n  end_ms: 17720\n- text: Fill that void in your pathetic life\n  start_ms: 17720\n  end_ms: 19820\n- text: By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n  start_ms: 19820\n  end_ms: 22550\n- text: Pisces\n  start_ms: 22550\n  end_ms: 22940\n- text: Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n  start_ms: 22940\n  end_ms: 27680\n- text: You are the true Lord of the dance\n  start_ms: 27680\n  end_ms: 30450\n- text: No matter what those idiots at work say\n  start_ms: 30450\n  end_ms: 32690\n- text: Aries\n  start_ms: 32690\n  end_ms: 33020\n- text: The look on your face will be priceless\n  start_ms: 33020\n  end_ms: 34880\n- text: When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n  start_ms: 34880\n  end_ms: 38430\n- text: Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n  start_ms: 38430\n  end_ms: 42780\n- text: Taurus\n  start_ms: 42780\n  end_ms: 43150\n- text: You will never find true happiness\n  start_ms: 43150\n  end_ms: 45730\n- text: What you gonna do, cry about it?\n  start_ms: 45730\n  end_ms: 48270\n- text: The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n  start_ms: 48270\n  end_ms: 50770\n- text: Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n  start_ms: 50770\n  end_ms: 53750\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 53750\n  end_ms: 58860\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 58860\n  end_ms: 64060\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 64060\n  end_ms: 69150\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 69150\n  end_ms: 72660\n- text: Gemini\n  start_ms: 72660\n  end_ms: 74220\n- text: Your birthday party will be ruined\n  start_ms: 74220\n  end_ms: 76190\n- text: Once again by your explosive flatulence\n  start_ms: 76190\n  end_ms: 79340\n- text: Your love life will run into trouble\n  start_ms: 79340\n  end_ms: 81050\n- text: When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n  start_ms: 81050\n  end_ms: 83940\n- text: Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n  start_ms: 83940\n  end_ms: 86280\n- text: You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n  start_ms: 86280\n  end_ms: 89730\n- text: Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n  start_ms: 89730\n  end_ms: 94320\n- text: Leo\n  start_ms: 94320\n  end_ms: 94640\n- text: Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n  start_ms: 94640\n  end_ms: 97000\n- text: And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n  start_ms: 97000\n  end_ms: 99880\n- text: Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n  start_ms: 99880\n  end_ms: 101770\n- text: Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n  start_ms: 101770\n  end_ms: 105720\n- text: Virgo\n  start_ms: 105720\n  end_ms: 106130\n- text: All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n  start_ms: 106130\n  end_ms: 110220\n- text: Expect a big surprise today\n  start_ms: 110220\n  end_ms: 112410\n- text: When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n  start_ms: 112410\n  end_ms: 115590\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 115590\n  end_ms: 120610\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 120610\n  end_ms: 125830\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 125830\n  end_ms: 130980\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 130980\n  end_ms: 133950\n- text: Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n  start_ms: 133950\n  end_ms: 139130\n- text: The relative position of the planets and the stars\n  start_ms: 139130\n  end_ms: 141430\n- text: Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n  start_ms: 141430\n  end_ms: 143480\n- text: That exclusively applies to only you\n  start_ms: 143480\n  end_ms: 145390\n- text: But, let me give you my assurance that\n  start_ms: 145390\n  end_ms: 146900\n- text: These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n  start_ms: 146900\n  end_ms: 148630\n- text: Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n  start_ms: 148630\n  end_ms: 150760\n- text: So you would have to be some kind of moron\n  start_ms: 150760\n  end_ms: 152460\n- text: Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n  start_ms: 152460\n  end_ms: 155690\n- text: Where was I?\n  start_ms: 155690\n  end_ms: 156120\n- text: Libra\n  start_ms: 156120\n  end_ms: 156580\n- text: A big promotion is just around\n  start_ms: 156580\n  end_ms: 158580\n- text: The corner for someone much more talented than you\n  start_ms: 158580\n  end_ms: 161860\n- text: Laughter is the very best medicine\n  start_ms: 161860\n  end_ms: 163630\n- text: Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n  start_ms: 163630\n  end_ms: 166330\n- text: Scorpio, get ready for an\n  start_ms: 166330\n  end_ms: 167740\n- text: Unexpected trip\n  start_ms: 167740\n  end_ms: 169170\n- text: When you fall screaming from an open window\n  start_ms: 169170\n  end_ms: 171850\n- text: Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n  start_ms: 171850\n  end_ms: 176790\n- text: Sagittarius\n  start_ms: 176790\n  end_ms: 177480\n- text: All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n  start_ms: 177480\n  end_ms: 182130\n- text: Take down all those naked pictures of\n  start_ms: 182130\n  end_ms: 184260\n- text: Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n  start_ms: 184260\n  end_ms: 186900\n- text: Capricorn\n  start_ms: 186900\n  end_ms: 187870\n- text: The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n  start_ms: 187870\n  end_ms: 191380\n- text: But, you know they're lying\n  start_ms: 191380\n  end_ms: 192610\n- text: If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n  start_ms: 192610\n  end_ms: 194470\n- text: And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n  start_ms: 194470\n  end_ms: 197900\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 197900\n  end_ms: 203050\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 203050\n  end_ms: 208240\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 208240\n  end_ms: 213350\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 213350\n  end_ms: 218570\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 218570\n  end_ms: 223670\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 223670\n  end_ms: 228840\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n  start_ms: 228840\n  end_ms: 233970\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 233970\n  end_ms: 237150\n- text: ''\n  start_ms: 237150\nplain: |-\n  Aquarius\n  There's travel in your future\n  When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n  Fill that void in your pathetic life\n  By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n\n  Pisces\n  Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n  You are the true Lord of the dance\n  No matter what those idiots at work say\n\n  Aries\n  The look on your face will be priceless\n  When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n  Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n\n  Taurus\n  You will never find true happiness\n  What you gonna do, cry about it?\n  The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n  Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n\n  Gemini\n  Your birthday party will be ruined\n  Once again by your explosive flatulence\n  Your love life will run into trouble\n  When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n\n  Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n  You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n  Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n\n  Leo\n  Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n  And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n  Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n  Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n\n  Virgo\n  All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n  Expect a big surprise today\n  When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n\n  Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n  The relative position of the planets and the stars\n  Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n  That exclusively applies to only you\n\n  But, let me give you my assurance that\n  These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n  Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n  So you would have to be some kind of moron\n  Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n\n  Where was I?\n\n  Libra\n  A big promotion is just around\n  The corner for someone much more talented than you\n  Laughter is the very best medicine\n  Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n\n  Scorpio, get ready for an\n  Unexpected trip\n  When you fall screaming from an open window\n  Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n\n  Sagittarius\n  All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n  Take down all those naked pictures of\n  Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n\n  Capricorn\n  The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n  But, you know they're lying\n  If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n  And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n"},{"id":3815775,"name":"Your Horoscope for Today","trackName":"Your Horoscope for Today","artistName":"“Weird Al” Yankovic","albumName":"The Essential “Weird Al” Yankovic","duration":239.0,"instrumental":false,"hasWordSync":true,"plainLyrics":"Aquarius\nThere's travel in your future\nWhen your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\nFill that void in your pathetic life\nBy playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n\nPisces\nTry to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\nYou are the true Lord of the dance\nNo matter what those idiots at work say\n\nAries\nThe look on your face will be priceless\nWhen you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\nTrade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n\nTaurus\nYou will never find true happiness\nWhat you gonna do, cry about it?\nThe stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\nDo a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n\nGemini\nYour birthday party will be ruined\nOnce again by your explosive flatulence\nYour love life will run into trouble\nWhen your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n\nCancer, the position of Jupiter says that\nYou should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\nTry not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n\nLeo\nNow is not a good time to photocopy your butt\nAnd staple it to your bosses face, oh no\nEat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\nThen wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n\nVirgo\nAll Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\nExpect a big surprise today\nWhen you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\n\nNow you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\nThe relative position of the planets and the stars\nCould have a special deep significance or meaning\nThat exclusively applies to only you\n\nBut, let me give you my assurance that\nThese forecasts and predictions are all based on\nSolid, scientific, documented evidence\nSo you would have to be some kind of moron\nNot to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n\nWhere was I?\n\nLibra\nA big promotion is just around\nThe corner for someone much more talented than you\nLaughter is the very best medicine\nRemember that when your appendix bursts next week\n\nScorpio, get ready for an\nUnexpected trip\nWhen you fall screaming from an open window\nWork a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n\nSagittarius\nAll your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\nTake down all those naked pictures of\nErnest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n\nCapricorn\nThe stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\nBut, you know they're lying\nIf I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\nAnd never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\nThat's your horoscope for today","syncedLyrics":"[00:10.94] Aquarius\n[00:12.19] There's travel in your future\n[00:13.34] When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n[00:17.38] Fill that void in your pathetic life\n[00:19.54] By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n[00:22.24] Pisces\n[00:22.99] Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n[00:27.50] You are the true Lord of the dance\n[00:30.35] No matter what those idiots at work say\n[00:32.24] Aries\n[00:32.71] The look on your face will be priceless\n[00:34.54] When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n[00:38.46] Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n[00:42.55] Taurus\n[00:42.95] You will never find true happiness\n[00:45.30] What you gonna do, cry about it?\n[00:48.07] The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n[00:50.41] Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n[00:53.39] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[00:58.76] That's your horoscope for today\n[01:03.88] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[01:08.97] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[01:12.62] Gemini\n[01:14.03] Your birthday party will be ruined\n[01:16.08] Once again by your explosive flatulence\n[01:18.76] Your love life will run into trouble\n[01:20.94] When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n[01:23.86] Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n[01:26.01] You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n[01:29.66] Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n[01:34.18] Leo\n[01:34.56] Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n[01:37.05] And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n[01:39.63] Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n[01:41.54] Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n[01:44.80] Virgo\n[01:45.38] All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n[01:49.94] Expect a big surprise today\n[01:52.39] When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n[01:55.23] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[02:00.38] That's your horoscope for today\n[02:05.61] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[02:10.77] That's your horoscope for today\n[02:13.96] Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n[02:18.97] The relative position of the planets and the stars\n[02:21.32] Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n[02:23.46] That exclusively applies to only you\n[02:25.14] But, let me give you my assurance that\n[02:26.73] These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n[02:28.44] Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n[02:30.60] So you would have to be some kind of moron\n[02:32.30] Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n[02:35.42] Where was I?\n[02:36.02] Libra\n[02:36.43] A big promotion is just around\n[02:38.39] The corner for someone much more talented than you\n[02:41.39] Laughter is the very best medicine\n[02:43.47] Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n[02:46.35] Scorpio, get ready for an\n[02:47.51] Unexpected trip\n[02:48.93] When you fall screaming from an open window\n[02:51.54] Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n[02:56.46] Sagittarius\n[02:57.29] All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n[03:01.99] Take down all those naked pictures of\n[03:04.00] Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n[03:06.89] Capricorn\n[03:07.56] The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n[03:11.15] But, you know they're lying\n[03:12.40] If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n[03:14.29] And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n[03:17.43] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:22.80] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:27.96] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:33.19] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:38.37] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:43.59] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:48.64] That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n[03:53.60] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:57.11] ","lyricsfile":"version: '1.0'\nmetadata:\n  title: Your Horoscope for Today\n  artist: “Weird Al” Yankovic\n  album: The Essential “Weird Al” Yankovic\n  duration_ms: 239000\n  instrumental: false\n  language: en\nlines:\n- text: Aquarius\n  start_ms: 11710\n  end_ms: 12390\n  words:\n  - text: Aquarius\n    start_ms: 11710\n- text: There's travel in your future\n  start_ms: 12470\n  end_ms: 13700\n  words:\n  - text: 'There''s '\n    start_ms: 12470\n  - text: 'travel '\n    start_ms: 12673\n  - text: 'in '\n    start_ms: 13025\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 13173\n  - text: future\n    start_ms: 13284\n- text: When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n  start_ms: 13700\n  end_ms: 17680\n  words:\n  - text: 'When '\n    start_ms: 13700\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 14100\n  - text: 'tongue '\n    start_ms: 14380\n  - text: 'freezes '\n    start_ms: 15000\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 15520\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 15680\n  - text: 'back '\n    start_ms: 15820\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 16060\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 16180\n  - text: 'speeding '\n    start_ms: 16320\n  - text: bus\n    start_ms: 16940\n- text: Fill that void in your pathetic life\n  start_ms: 17750\n  end_ms: 19840\n  words:\n  - text: 'Fill '\n    start_ms: 17750\n  - text: 'that '\n    start_ms: 18030\n  - text: 'void '\n    start_ms: 18330\n  - text: 'in '\n    start_ms: 18690\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 18810\n  - text: 'pathetic '\n    start_ms: 18950\n  - text: life\n    start_ms: 19610\n- text: By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n  start_ms: 19840\n  end_ms: 22550\n  words:\n  - text: 'By '\n    start_ms: 19840\n  - text: 'playing '\n    start_ms: 20059\n  - text: whack-\n    start_ms: 20418\n  - text: a-\n    start_ms: 20617\n  - text: 'mole '\n    start_ms: 20737\n  - text: '17 '\n    start_ms: 21016\n  - text: 'hours '\n    start_ms: 21574\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 21892\n  - text: day\n    start_ms: 22171\n- text: Pisces\n  start_ms: 22550\n  end_ms: 22910\n  words:\n  - text: Pisces\n    start_ms: 22550\n- text: Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n  start_ms: 22970\n  end_ms: 27650\n  words:\n  - text: 'Try '\n    start_ms: 22970\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 23370\n  - text: 'avoid '\n    start_ms: 23570\n  - text: 'any '\n    start_ms: 24050\n  - text: 'Virgos '\n    start_ms: 24290\n  - text: 'or '\n    start_ms: 24670\n  - text: 'Leos '\n    start_ms: 24830\n  - text: 'with '\n    start_ms: 25790\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 25950\n  - text: 'ebola '\n    start_ms: 26130\n  - text: virus\n    start_ms: 26730\n- text: You are the true Lord of the dance\n  start_ms: 27670\n  end_ms: 30440\n  words:\n  - text: 'You '\n    start_ms: 27670\n  - text: 'are '\n    start_ms: 28086\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 28382\n  - text: 'true '\n    start_ms: 28640\n  - text: 'Lord '\n    start_ms: 29312\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 29688\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 29807\n  - text: dance\n    start_ms: 29965\n- text: No matter what those idiots at work say\n  start_ms: 30440\n  end_ms: 32670\n  words:\n  - text: 'No '\n    start_ms: 30440\n  - text: 'matter '\n    start_ms: 30756\n  - text: 'what '\n    start_ms: 31052\n  - text: 'those '\n    start_ms: 31210\n  - text: 'idiots '\n    start_ms: 31427\n  - text: 'at '\n    start_ms: 31881\n  - text: 'work '\n    start_ms: 32019\n  - text: say\n    start_ms: 32295\n- text: Aries\n  start_ms: 32670\n  end_ms: 33060\n  words:\n  - text: Aries\n    start_ms: 32670\n- text: The look on your face will be priceless\n  start_ms: 33070\n  end_ms: 34840\n  words:\n  - text: 'The '\n    start_ms: 33070\n  - text: 'look '\n    start_ms: 33270\n  - text: 'on '\n    start_ms: 33490\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 33630\n  - text: 'face '\n    start_ms: 33770\n  - text: 'will '\n    start_ms: 34090\n  - text: 'be '\n    start_ms: 34250\n  - text: priceless\n    start_ms: 34390\n- text: When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n  start_ms: 34880\n  end_ms: 38430\n  words:\n  - text: 'When '\n    start_ms: 34880\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 35115\n  - text: 'find '\n    start_ms: 35253\n  - text: 'that '\n    start_ms: 35606\n  - text: '40 '\n    start_ms: 35998\n  - text: 'pound '\n    start_ms: 36194\n  - text: 'watermelon '\n    start_ms: 36508\n  - text: 'in '\n    start_ms: 37489\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 37626\n  - text: colon\n    start_ms: 37763\n- text: Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n  start_ms: 38430\n  end_ms: 42720\n  words:\n  - text: 'Trade '\n    start_ms: 38430\n  - text: 'toothbrushes '\n    start_ms: 38910\n  - text: 'with '\n    start_ms: 39730\n  - text: 'an '\n    start_ms: 39890\n  - text: 'albino '\n    start_ms: 40070\n  - text: 'dwarf, '\n    start_ms: 40790\n  - text: 'then '\n    start_ms: 41150\n  - text: 'give '\n    start_ms: 41330\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 41530\n  - text: 'hickey '\n    start_ms: 41610\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 41970\n  - text: 'Meryl '\n    start_ms: 42110\n  - text: Streep\n    start_ms: 42410\n- text: Taurus\n  start_ms: 42730\n  end_ms: 43120\n  words:\n  - text: Taurus\n    start_ms: 42730\n- text: You will never find true happiness\n  start_ms: 43180\n  end_ms: 45740\n  words:\n  - text: 'You '\n    start_ms: 43180\n  - text: 'will '\n    start_ms: 43460\n  - text: 'never '\n    start_ms: 43620\n  - text: 'find '\n    start_ms: 44120\n  - text: 'true '\n    start_ms: 44420\n  - text: happiness\n    start_ms: 44760\n- text: What you gonna do, cry about it?\n  start_ms: 45760\n  end_ms: 48220\n  words:\n  - text: 'What '\n    start_ms: 45760\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 46068\n  - text: 'gonna '\n    start_ms: 46221\n  - text: 'do, '\n    start_ms: 46548\n  - text: 'cry '\n    start_ms: 46817\n  - text: 'about '\n    start_ms: 47240\n  - text: it?\n    start_ms: 47682\n- text: The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n  start_ms: 48220\n  end_ms: 50670\n  words:\n  - text: 'The '\n    start_ms: 48220\n  - text: 'stars '\n    start_ms: 48500\n  - text: 'predict '\n    start_ms: 48880\n  - text: 'tomorrow '\n    start_ms: 49520\n  - text: 'you''ll '\n    start_ms: 49980\n  - text: 'wake '\n    start_ms: 50200\n  - text: up\n    start_ms: 50520\n- text: Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n  start_ms: 50770\n  end_ms: 53720\n  words:\n  - text: 'Do '\n    start_ms: 50770\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 51078\n  - text: 'bunch '\n    start_ms: 51194\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 51541\n  - text: 'stuff '\n    start_ms: 51792\n  - text: 'and '\n    start_ms: 52139\n  - text: 'then '\n    start_ms: 52447\n  - text: 'go '\n    start_ms: 52737\n  - text: 'back '\n    start_ms: 52891\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 53045\n  - text: sleep\n    start_ms: 53180\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 53720\n  end_ms: 58780\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 53720\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 54200\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 54320\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 55100\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 55420\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 55600\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 55980\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 56180\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 56420\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 56760\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 58860\n  end_ms: 64000\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 58860\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 59408\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 59526\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 60289\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 60642\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 64000\n  end_ms: 69030\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 64000\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 64460\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 64600\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 65380\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 65700\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 65880\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 66165\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 66455\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 66680\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 67040\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 69170\n  end_ms: 72630\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 69170\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 69758\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 69895\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 70640\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 70954\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 71562\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 71914\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 72091\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 72297\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 72405\n- text: Gemini\n  start_ms: 72630\n  end_ms: 74210\n  words:\n  - text: Gemini\n    start_ms: 72630\n- text: Your birthday party will be ruined\n  start_ms: 74260\n  end_ms: 76150\n  words:\n  - text: 'Your '\n    start_ms: 74260\n  - text: 'birthday '\n    start_ms: 74540\n  - text: 'party '\n    start_ms: 75040\n  - text: 'will '\n    start_ms: 75520\n  - text: 'be '\n    start_ms: 75680\n  - text: ruined\n    start_ms: 75860\n- text: Once again by your explosive flatulence\n  start_ms: 76160\n  end_ms: 79310\n  words:\n  - text: 'Once '\n    start_ms: 76160\n  - text: 'again '\n    start_ms: 76701\n  - text: 'by '\n    start_ms: 77242\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 77416\n  - text: 'explosive '\n    start_ms: 77532\n  - text: flatulence\n    start_ms: 78150\n- text: Your love life will run into trouble\n  start_ms: 79310\n  end_ms: 81000\n  words:\n  - text: 'Your '\n    start_ms: 79310\n  - text: 'love '\n    start_ms: 79550\n  - text: 'life '\n    start_ms: 79750\n  - text: 'will '\n    start_ms: 79910\n  - text: 'run '\n    start_ms: 80090\n  - text: 'into '\n    start_ms: 80430\n  - text: trouble\n    start_ms: 80670\n- text: When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n  start_ms: 81090\n  end_ms: 83930\n  words:\n  - text: 'When '\n    start_ms: 81090\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 81444\n  - text: 'fiancé '\n    start_ms: 81601\n  - text: 'hurls '\n    start_ms: 82368\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 82721\n  - text: 'javelin '\n    start_ms: 82839\n  - text: 'through '\n    start_ms: 83291\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 83488\n  - text: chest\n    start_ms: 83645\n- text: Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n  start_ms: 83930\n  end_ms: 86190\n  words:\n  - text: 'Cancer, '\n    start_ms: 83930\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 84410\n  - text: 'position '\n    start_ms: 84570\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 85110\n  - text: 'Jupiter '\n    start_ms: 85250\n  - text: 'says '\n    start_ms: 85850\n  - text: that\n    start_ms: 86170\n- text: You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n  start_ms: 86220\n  end_ms: 89770\n  words:\n  - text: 'You '\n    start_ms: 86220\n  - text: 'should '\n    start_ms: 86499\n  - text: 'spend '\n    start_ms: 86699\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 87038\n  - text: 'rest '\n    start_ms: 87217\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 87556\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 87676\n  - text: 'week '\n    start_ms: 87855\n  - text: 'face '\n    start_ms: 88155\n  - text: 'down '\n    start_ms: 88494\n  - text: 'in '\n    start_ms: 88853\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 88972\n  - text: mud\n    start_ms: 89132\n- text: Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n  start_ms: 89770\n  end_ms: 94320\n  words:\n  - text: 'Try '\n    start_ms: 89770\n  - text: 'not '\n    start_ms: 90090\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 90250\n  - text: 'shove '\n    start_ms: 90390\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 90850\n  - text: 'roll '\n    start_ms: 91070\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 91490\n  - text: 'duct '\n    start_ms: 91710\n  - text: 'tape '\n    start_ms: 91990\n  - text: 'up '\n    start_ms: 92230\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 92370\n  - text: 'nose '\n    start_ms: 92510\n  - text: 'while '\n    start_ms: 92810\n  - text: 'taking '\n    start_ms: 93010\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 93490\n  - text: 'driver''s '\n    start_ms: 93610\n  - text: test\n    start_ms: 94110\n- text: Leo\n  start_ms: 94320\n  end_ms: 94630\n  words:\n  - text: Leo\n    start_ms: 94320\n- text: Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n  start_ms: 94630\n  end_ms: 96970\n  words:\n  - text: 'Now '\n    start_ms: 94630\n  - text: 'is '\n    start_ms: 94890\n  - text: 'not '\n    start_ms: 95010\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 95230\n  - text: 'good '\n    start_ms: 95310\n  - text: 'time '\n    start_ms: 95510\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 95810\n  - text: 'photocopy '\n    start_ms: 95950\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 96630\n  - text: butt\n    start_ms: 96810\n- text: And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n  start_ms: 97040\n  end_ms: 99830\n  words:\n  - text: 'And '\n    start_ms: 97040\n  - text: 'staple '\n    start_ms: 97300\n  - text: 'it '\n    start_ms: 97700\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 97820\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 97980\n  - text: 'bosses '\n    start_ms: 98140\n  - text: 'face, '\n    start_ms: 98780\n  - text: 'oh '\n    start_ms: 99140\n  - text: no\n    start_ms: 99420\n- text: Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n  start_ms: 99830\n  end_ms: 101780\n  words:\n  - text: 'Eat '\n    start_ms: 99830\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 100130\n  - text: 'bucket '\n    start_ms: 100250\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 100590\n  - text: tuna-\n    start_ms: 100710\n  - text: 'flavored '\n    start_ms: 101170\n  - text: pudding\n    start_ms: 101530\n- text: Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n  start_ms: 101790\n  end_ms: 105790\n  words:\n  - text: 'Then '\n    start_ms: 101790\n  - text: 'wash '\n    start_ms: 102049\n  - text: 'it '\n    start_ms: 102427\n  - text: 'down '\n    start_ms: 102646\n  - text: 'with '\n    start_ms: 103004\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 103143\n  - text: 'gallon '\n    start_ms: 103283\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 103700\n  - text: 'Strawberry '\n    start_ms: 103899\n  - text: Quik\n    start_ms: 104556\n- text: Virgo\n  start_ms: 105790\n  end_ms: 106100\n  words:\n  - text: Virgo\n    start_ms: 105790\n- text: All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n  start_ms: 106190\n  end_ms: 110260\n  words:\n  - text: 'All '\n    start_ms: 106190\n  - text: 'Virgos '\n    start_ms: 106269\n  - text: 'are '\n    start_ms: 106467\n  - text: 'extremely '\n    start_ms: 106646\n  - text: 'friendly '\n    start_ms: 107220\n  - text: 'and '\n    start_ms: 107953\n  - text: 'intelligent, '\n    start_ms: 108289\n  - text: 'except '\n    start_ms: 109458\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 109755\n  - text: you\n    start_ms: 109953\n- text: Expect a big surprise today\n  start_ms: 110260\n  end_ms: 112460\n  words:\n  - text: 'Expect '\n    start_ms: 110260\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 110957\n  - text: 'big '\n    start_ms: 111096\n  - text: 'surprise '\n    start_ms: 111375\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 112012\n- text: When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n  start_ms: 112460\n  end_ms: 115530\n  words:\n  - text: 'When '\n    start_ms: 112460\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 112836\n  - text: 'wind '\n    start_ms: 112995\n  - text: 'up '\n    start_ms: 113331\n  - text: 'with '\n    start_ms: 113470\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 113609\n  - text: 'head '\n    start_ms: 113747\n  - text: 'impaled '\n    start_ms: 114005\n  - text: 'upon '\n    start_ms: 114599\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 114916\n  - text: stick\n    start_ms: 115035\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 115530\n  end_ms: 120610\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 115530\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 116030\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 116170\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 116970\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 117290\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 117450\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 117750\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 117950\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 118250\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 118790\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 120640\n  end_ms: 125840\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 120640\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 121210\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 121348\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 122114\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 122449\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 125840\n  end_ms: 130920\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 125840\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 126300\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 126440\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 127200\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 127520\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 127680\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 128060\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 128400\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 128500\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 128840\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 130920\n  end_ms: 133910\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 130920\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 131440\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 131540\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 132340\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 132660\n- text: Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n  start_ms: 133970\n  end_ms: 139160\n  words:\n  - text: 'Now '\n    start_ms: 133970\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 135990\n  - text: 'may '\n    start_ms: 136110\n  - text: 'find '\n    start_ms: 136250\n  - text: 'it '\n    start_ms: 136470\n  - text: 'inconceivable '\n    start_ms: 136630\n  - text: 'or '\n    start_ms: 137390\n  - text: 'rather '\n    start_ms: 137550\n  - text: 'very '\n    start_ms: 137870\n  - text: 'least '\n    start_ms: 138170\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 138410\n  - text: 'bit '\n    start_ms: 138510\n  - text: 'unlikely '\n    start_ms: 138710\n  - text: that\n    start_ms: 139110\n- text: The relative position of the planets and the stars\n  start_ms: 139180\n  end_ms: 141410\n  words:\n  - text: 'The '\n    start_ms: 139180\n  - text: 'relative '\n    start_ms: 139475\n  - text: 'position '\n    start_ms: 139966\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 140496\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 140614\n  - text: 'planets '\n    start_ms: 140732\n  - text: 'and '\n    start_ms: 141105\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 141223\n  - text: stars\n    start_ms: 141345\n- text: Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n  start_ms: 141410\n  end_ms: 143440\n  words:\n  - text: 'Could '\n    start_ms: 141410\n  - text: 'have '\n    start_ms: 141727\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 141905\n  - text: 'special '\n    start_ms: 142004\n  - text: 'deep '\n    start_ms: 142321\n  - text: 'significance '\n    start_ms: 142499\n  - text: 'or '\n    start_ms: 143173\n  - text: meaning\n    start_ms: 143291\n- text: That exclusively applies to only you\n  start_ms: 143440\n  end_ms: 145280\n  words:\n  - text: 'That '\n    start_ms: 143440\n  - text: 'exclusively '\n    start_ms: 143780\n  - text: 'applies '\n    start_ms: 144440\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 144780\n  - text: 'only '\n    start_ms: 144960\n  - text: you\n    start_ms: 145220\n- text: But, let me give you my assurance that\n  start_ms: 145300\n  end_ms: 146910\n  words:\n  - text: 'But, '\n    start_ms: 145300\n  - text: 'let '\n    start_ms: 145600\n  - text: 'me '\n    start_ms: 145740\n  - text: 'give '\n    start_ms: 145920\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 146100\n  - text: 'my '\n    start_ms: 146220\n  - text: 'assurance '\n    start_ms: 146440\n  - text: that\n    start_ms: 146840\n- text: These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n  start_ms: 146980\n  end_ms: 148670\n  words:\n  - text: 'These '\n    start_ms: 146980\n  - text: 'forecasts '\n    start_ms: 147235\n  - text: 'and '\n    start_ms: 147589\n  - text: 'predictions '\n    start_ms: 147707\n  - text: 'are '\n    start_ms: 148238\n  - text: 'all '\n    start_ms: 148375\n  - text: 'based '\n    start_ms: 148493\n  - text: on\n    start_ms: 148659\n- text: Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n  start_ms: 148670\n  end_ms: 150770\n  words:\n  - text: 'Solid, '\n    start_ms: 148670\n  - text: 'scientific, '\n    start_ms: 149150\n  - text: 'documented '\n    start_ms: 149790\n  - text: evidence\n    start_ms: 150490\n- text: So you would have to be some kind of moron\n  start_ms: 150770\n  end_ms: 152440\n  words:\n  - text: 'So '\n    start_ms: 150770\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 151110\n  - text: 'would '\n    start_ms: 151230\n  - text: 'have '\n    start_ms: 151390\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 151570\n  - text: 'be '\n    start_ms: 151710\n  - text: 'some '\n    start_ms: 151850\n  - text: 'kind '\n    start_ms: 152030\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 152210\n  - text: moron\n    start_ms: 152330\n- text: Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n  start_ms: 152470\n  end_ms: 155630\n  words:\n  - text: 'Not '\n    start_ms: 152470\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 152860\n  - text: 'realize '\n    start_ms: 153036\n  - text: 'that '\n    start_ms: 153504\n  - text: 'every '\n    start_ms: 153718\n  - text: 'single '\n    start_ms: 153952\n  - text: 'one '\n    start_ms: 154284\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 154460\n  - text: 'them '\n    start_ms: 154596\n  - text: 'is '\n    start_ms: 154772\n  - text: 'absolutely '\n    start_ms: 154967\n  - text: 'true'\n    start_ms: 155513\n- text: Where was I?\n  start_ms: 155630\n  end_ms: 156100\n  words:\n  - text: 'Where '\n    start_ms: 155630\n  - text: 'was '\n    start_ms: 155825\n  - text: I?\n    start_ms: 156020\n- text: Libra\n  start_ms: 156100\n  end_ms: 156450\n  words:\n  - text: Libra\n    start_ms: 156100\n- text: A big promotion is just around\n  start_ms: 156530\n  end_ms: 158500\n  words:\n  - text: 'A '\n    start_ms: 156530\n  - text: 'big '\n    start_ms: 156860\n  - text: 'promotion '\n    start_ms: 157151\n  - text: 'is '\n    start_ms: 157986\n  - text: 'just '\n    start_ms: 158122\n  - text: around\n    start_ms: 158296\n- text: The corner for someone much more talented than you\n  start_ms: 158500\n  end_ms: 161790\n  words:\n  - text: 'The '\n    start_ms: 158500\n  - text: 'corner '\n    start_ms: 158700\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 159200\n  - text: 'someone '\n    start_ms: 159360\n  - text: 'much '\n    start_ms: 159660\n  - text: 'more '\n    start_ms: 159840\n  - text: 'talented '\n    start_ms: 160000\n  - text: 'than '\n    start_ms: 160800\n  - text: you\n    start_ms: 161200\n- text: Laughter is the very best medicine\n  start_ms: 161820\n  end_ms: 163630\n  words:\n  - text: 'Laughter '\n    start_ms: 161820\n  - text: 'is '\n    start_ms: 162351\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 162489\n  - text: 'very '\n    start_ms: 162607\n  - text: 'best '\n    start_ms: 162922\n  - text: medicine\n    start_ms: 163099\n- text: Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n  start_ms: 163630\n  end_ms: 166260\n  words:\n  - text: 'Remember '\n    start_ms: 163630\n  - text: 'that '\n    start_ms: 164230\n  - text: 'when '\n    start_ms: 164410\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 164710\n  - text: 'appendix '\n    start_ms: 164910\n  - text: 'bursts '\n    start_ms: 165650\n  - text: 'next '\n    start_ms: 165930\n  - text: week\n    start_ms: 166170\n- text: Scorpio, get ready for an\n  start_ms: 166340\n  end_ms: 167740\n  words:\n  - text: 'Scorpio, '\n    start_ms: 166340\n  - text: 'get '\n    start_ms: 166982\n  - text: 'ready '\n    start_ms: 167137\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 167448\n  - text: an\n    start_ms: 167662\n- text: Unexpected trip\n  start_ms: 167740\n  end_ms: 169110\n  words:\n  - text: 'Unexpected '\n    start_ms: 167740\n  - text: trip\n    start_ms: 168848\n- text: When you fall screaming from an open window\n  start_ms: 169110\n  end_ms: 171790\n  words:\n  - text: 'When '\n    start_ms: 169110\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 169350\n  - text: 'fall '\n    start_ms: 169470\n  - text: 'screaming '\n    start_ms: 169630\n  - text: 'from '\n    start_ms: 169970\n  - text: 'an '\n    start_ms: 170210\n  - text: 'open '\n    start_ms: 170370\n  - text: window\n    start_ms: 170810\n- text: Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n  start_ms: 171860\n  end_ms: 176770\n  words:\n  - text: 'Work '\n    start_ms: 171860\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 172220\n  - text: 'little '\n    start_ms: 172340\n  - text: 'bit '\n    start_ms: 172640\n  - text: 'harder '\n    start_ms: 172800\n  - text: 'on '\n    start_ms: 173320\n  - text: 'improving '\n    start_ms: 173480\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 173940\n  - text: 'low '\n    start_ms: 174100\n  - text: self-\n    start_ms: 174720\n  - text: 'esteem, '\n    start_ms: 175080\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 175740\n  - text: 'stupid '\n    start_ms: 176020\n  - text: freak\n    start_ms: 176500\n- text: Sagittarius\n  start_ms: 176780\n  end_ms: 177420\n  words:\n  - text: Sagittarius\n    start_ms: 176780\n- text: All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n  start_ms: 177460\n  end_ms: 182190\n  words:\n  - text: 'All '\n    start_ms: 177460\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 177857\n  - text: 'friends '\n    start_ms: 177995\n  - text: 'are '\n    start_ms: 178352\n  - text: 'laughing '\n    start_ms: 178630\n  - text: 'behind '\n    start_ms: 179126\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 179622\n  - text: 'back '\n    start_ms: 179919\n  - text: '(kill '\n    start_ms: 180990\n  - text: them)\n    start_ms: 181684\n- text: Take down all those naked pictures of\n  start_ms: 182190\n  end_ms: 184250\n  words:\n  - text: 'Take '\n    start_ms: 182190\n  - text: 'down '\n    start_ms: 182510\n  - text: 'all '\n    start_ms: 182710\n  - text: 'those '\n    start_ms: 182970\n  - text: 'naked '\n    start_ms: 183150\n  - text: 'pictures '\n    start_ms: 183770\n  - text: of\n    start_ms: 184230\n- text: Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n  start_ms: 184270\n  end_ms: 186940\n  words:\n  - text: 'Ernest '\n    start_ms: 184270\n  - text: 'Borgnine, '\n    start_ms: 185050\n  - text: 'you''ve '\n    start_ms: 185590\n  - text: 'got '\n    start_ms: 185710\n  - text: 'hanging '\n    start_ms: 185870\n  - text: 'in '\n    start_ms: 186450\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 186650\n  - text: den\n    start_ms: 186830\n- text: Capricorn\n  start_ms: 186950\n  end_ms: 187880\n  words:\n  - text: Capricorn\n    start_ms: 186950\n- text: The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n  start_ms: 187880\n  end_ms: 191340\n  words:\n  - text: 'The '\n    start_ms: 187880\n  - text: 'stars '\n    start_ms: 188218\n  - text: 'say '\n    start_ms: 188596\n  - text: 'that '\n    start_ms: 188874\n  - text: 'you''re '\n    start_ms: 189053\n  - text: 'an '\n    start_ms: 189272\n  - text: 'exciting '\n    start_ms: 189411\n  - text: 'and '\n    start_ms: 190028\n  - text: 'wonderful '\n    start_ms: 190187\n  - text: person\n    start_ms: 190803\n- text: But, you know they're lying\n  start_ms: 191340\n  end_ms: 192610\n  words:\n  - text: 'But, '\n    start_ms: 191340\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 191780\n  - text: 'know '\n    start_ms: 191900\n  - text: 'they''re '\n    start_ms: 192060\n  - text: lying\n    start_ms: 192240\n- text: If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n  start_ms: 192620\n  end_ms: 194400\n  words:\n  - text: 'If '\n    start_ms: 192620\n  - text: 'I '\n    start_ms: 192940\n  - text: 'were '\n    start_ms: 193020\n  - text: 'you, '\n    start_ms: 193240\n  - text: 'I''d '\n    start_ms: 193400\n  - text: 'lock '\n    start_ms: 193520\n  - text: 'my '\n    start_ms: 193700\n  - text: 'doors '\n    start_ms: 193840\n  - text: 'and '\n    start_ms: 194040\n  - text: windows\n    start_ms: 194180\n- text: And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n  start_ms: 194420\n  end_ms: 197970\n  words:\n  - text: 'And '\n    start_ms: 194420\n  - text: 'never, '\n    start_ms: 194720\n  - text: 'never, '\n    start_ms: 195200\n  - text: 'never, '\n    start_ms: 195540\n  - text: 'never, '\n    start_ms: 195860\n  - text: 'never '\n    start_ms: 196160\n  - text: 'leave '\n    start_ms: 196420\n  - text: 'my '\n    start_ms: 196620\n  - text: 'house '\n    start_ms: 196860\n  - text: again\n    start_ms: 197160\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 197980\n  end_ms: 203040\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 197980\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 198440\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 198560\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 199360\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 199660\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 199840\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 200220\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 200560\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 200640\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 201160\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 203070\n  end_ms: 208240\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 203070\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 203561\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 203699\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 204485\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 204820\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 208240\n  end_ms: 213280\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 208240\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 208660\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 208800\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 209600\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 209940\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 210080\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 210460\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 210770\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 210920\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 211380\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 213360\n  end_ms: 218550\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 213360\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 213894\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 214032\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 214803\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 215139\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 218550\n  end_ms: 223640\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 218550\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 219027\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 219166\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 219922\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 220240\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 220717\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 222069\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 222348\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 223272\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 223530\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 223640\n  end_ms: 228800\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 223640\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 224096\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 224561\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 224987\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 225324\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n  start_ms: 228800\n  end_ms: 233880\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 228800\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 229220\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 229340\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 230140\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 230440\n  - text: '(yay, '\n    start_ms: 231900\n  - text: 'yay, '\n    start_ms: 232260\n  - text: 'yay, '\n    start_ms: 232580\n  - text: 'yay, '\n    start_ms: 232710\n  - text: yay)\n    start_ms: 232880\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 233960\n  end_ms: 237090\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 233960\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 234440\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 234560\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 235340\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 235680\nplain: |-\n  Aquarius\n  There's travel in your future\n  When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n  Fill that void in your pathetic life\n  By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n\n  Pisces\n  Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n  You are the true Lord of the dance\n  No matter what those idiots at work say\n\n  Aries\n  The look on your face will be priceless\n  When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n  Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n\n  Taurus\n  You will never find true happiness\n  What you gonna do, cry about it?\n  The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n  Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n\n  Gemini\n  Your birthday party will be ruined\n  Once again by your explosive flatulence\n  Your love life will run into trouble\n  When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n\n  Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n  You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n  Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n\n  Leo\n  Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n  And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n  Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n  Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n\n  Virgo\n  All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n  Expect a big surprise today\n  When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n\n  Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n  The relative position of the planets and the stars\n  Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n  That exclusively applies to only you\n\n  But, let me give you my assurance that\n  These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n  Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n  So you would have to be some kind of moron\n  Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n\n  Where was I?\n\n  Libra\n  A big promotion is just around\n  The corner for someone much more talented than you\n  Laughter is the very best medicine\n  Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n\n  Scorpio, get ready for an\n  Unexpected trip\n  When you fall screaming from an open window\n  Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n\n  Sagittarius\n  All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n  Take down all those naked pictures of\n  Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n\n  Capricorn\n  The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n  But, you know they're lying\n  If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n  And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n"},{"id":1672083,"name":"Your Horoscope for Today","trackName":"Your Horoscope for Today","artistName":"Weird Al Yankovic","albumName":"The Essential \"Weird Al\" Yankovic","duration":239.0,"instrumental":false,"hasWordSync":true,"plainLyrics":"Aquarius\nThere's travel in your future\nWhen your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\nFill that void in your pathetic life\nBy playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n\nPisces\nTry to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\nYou are the true Lord of the dance\nNo matter what those idiots at work say\n\nAries\nThe look on your face will be priceless\nWhen you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\nTrade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n\nTaurus\nYou will never find true happiness\nWhat you gonna do, cry about it?\nThe stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\nDo a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n\nGemini\nYour birthday party will be ruined\nOnce again by your explosive flatulence\nYour love life will run into trouble\nWhen your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n\nCancer, the position of Jupiter says that\nYou should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\nTry not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n\nLeo\nNow is not a good time to photocopy your butt\nAnd staple it to your bosses face, oh no\nEat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\nThen wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n\nVirgo\nAll Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\nExpect a big surprise today\nWhen you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\n\nNow you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\nThe relative position of the planets and the stars\nCould have a special deep significance or meaning\nThat exclusively applies to only you\n\nBut, let me give you my assurance that\nThese forecasts and predictions are all based on\nSolid, scientific, documented evidence\nSo you would have to be some kind of moron\nNot to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n\nWhere was I?\n\nLibra\nA big promotion is just around\nThe corner for someone much more talented than you\nLaughter is the very best medicine\nRemember that when your appendix bursts next week\n\nScorpio, get ready for an\nUnexpected trip\nWhen you fall screaming from an open window\nWork a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n\nSagittarius\nAll your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\nTake down all those naked pictures of\nErnest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n\nCapricorn\nThe stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\nBut, you know they're lying\nIf I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\nAnd never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\nThat's your horoscope for today","syncedLyrics":"[00:10.94] Aquarius\n[00:12.19] There's travel in your future\n[00:13.34] When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n[00:17.38] Fill that void in your pathetic life\n[00:19.54] By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n[00:22.24] Pisces\n[00:22.99] Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n[00:27.50] You are the true Lord of the dance\n[00:30.35] No matter what those idiots at work say\n[00:32.24] Aries\n[00:32.71] The look on your face will be priceless\n[00:34.54] When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n[00:38.46] Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n[00:42.55] Taurus\n[00:42.95] You will never find true happiness\n[00:45.30] What you gonna do, cry about it?\n[00:48.07] The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n[00:50.41] Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n[00:53.39] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[00:58.76] That's your horoscope for today\n[01:03.88] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[01:08.97] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[01:12.62] Gemini\n[01:14.03] Your birthday party will be ruined\n[01:16.08] Once again by your explosive flatulence\n[01:18.76] Your love life will run into trouble\n[01:20.94] When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n[01:23.86] Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n[01:26.01] You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n[01:29.66] Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n[01:34.18] Leo\n[01:34.56] Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n[01:37.05] And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n[01:39.63] Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n[01:41.54] Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n[01:44.80] Virgo\n[01:45.38] All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n[01:49.94] Expect a big surprise today\n[01:52.39] When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n[01:55.23] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[02:00.38] That's your horoscope for today\n[02:05.61] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[02:10.77] That's your horoscope for today\n[02:13.96] Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n[02:18.97] The relative position of the planets and the stars\n[02:21.32] Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n[02:23.46] That exclusively applies to only you\n[02:25.14] But, let me give you my assurance that\n[02:26.73] These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n[02:28.44] Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n[02:30.60] So you would have to be some kind of moron\n[02:32.30] Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n[02:35.42] Where was I?\n[02:36.02] Libra\n[02:36.43] A big promotion is just around\n[02:38.39] The corner for someone much more talented than you\n[02:41.39] Laughter is the very best medicine\n[02:43.47] Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n[02:46.35] Scorpio, get ready for an\n[02:47.51] Unexpected trip\n[02:48.93] When you fall screaming from an open window\n[02:51.54] Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n[02:56.46] Sagittarius\n[02:57.29] All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n[03:01.99] Take down all those naked pictures of\n[03:04.00] Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n[03:06.89] Capricorn\n[03:07.56] The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n[03:11.15] But, you know they're lying\n[03:12.40] If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n[03:14.29] And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n[03:17.43] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:22.80] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:27.96] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:33.19] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:38.37] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:43.59] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:48.64] That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n[03:53.60] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:57.11] ","lyricsfile":"version: '1.0'\nmetadata:\n  title: Your Horoscope for Today\n  artist: Weird Al Yankovic\n  album: The Essential \"Weird Al\" Yankovic\n  duration_ms: 239000\n  instrumental: false\n  language: en\nlines:\n- text: Aquarius\n  start_ms: 11710\n  end_ms: 12390\n  words:\n  - text: Aquarius\n    start_ms: 11710\n- text: There's travel in your future\n  start_ms: 12470\n  end_ms: 13700\n  words:\n  - text: 'There''s '\n    start_ms: 12470\n  - text: 'travel '\n    start_ms: 12673\n  - text: 'in '\n    start_ms: 13025\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 13173\n  - text: future\n    start_ms: 13284\n- text: When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n  start_ms: 13700\n  end_ms: 17680\n  words:\n  - text: 'When '\n    start_ms: 13700\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 14100\n  - text: 'tongue '\n    start_ms: 14380\n  - text: 'freezes '\n    start_ms: 15000\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 15520\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 15680\n  - text: 'back '\n    start_ms: 15820\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 16060\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 16180\n  - text: 'speeding '\n    start_ms: 16320\n  - text: bus\n    start_ms: 16940\n- text: Fill that void in your pathetic life\n  start_ms: 17750\n  end_ms: 19840\n  words:\n  - text: 'Fill '\n    start_ms: 17750\n  - text: 'that '\n    start_ms: 18030\n  - text: 'void '\n    start_ms: 18330\n  - text: 'in '\n    start_ms: 18690\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 18810\n  - text: 'pathetic '\n    start_ms: 18950\n  - text: life\n    start_ms: 19610\n- text: By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n  start_ms: 19840\n  end_ms: 22550\n  words:\n  - text: 'By '\n    start_ms: 19840\n  - text: 'playing '\n    start_ms: 20059\n  - text: whack-\n    start_ms: 20418\n  - text: a-\n    start_ms: 20617\n  - text: 'mole '\n    start_ms: 20737\n  - text: '17 '\n    start_ms: 21016\n  - text: 'hours '\n    start_ms: 21574\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 21892\n  - text: day\n    start_ms: 22171\n- text: Pisces\n  start_ms: 22550\n  end_ms: 22910\n  words:\n  - text: Pisces\n    start_ms: 22550\n- text: Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n  start_ms: 22970\n  end_ms: 27650\n  words:\n  - text: 'Try '\n    start_ms: 22970\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 23370\n  - text: 'avoid '\n    start_ms: 23570\n  - text: 'any '\n    start_ms: 24050\n  - text: 'Virgos '\n    start_ms: 24290\n  - text: 'or '\n    start_ms: 24670\n  - text: 'Leos '\n    start_ms: 24830\n  - text: 'with '\n    start_ms: 25790\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 25950\n  - text: 'ebola '\n    start_ms: 26130\n  - text: virus\n    start_ms: 26730\n- text: You are the true Lord of the dance\n  start_ms: 27670\n  end_ms: 30440\n  words:\n  - text: 'You '\n    start_ms: 27670\n  - text: 'are '\n    start_ms: 28086\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 28382\n  - text: 'true '\n    start_ms: 28640\n  - text: 'Lord '\n    start_ms: 29312\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 29688\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 29807\n  - text: dance\n    start_ms: 29965\n- text: No matter what those idiots at work say\n  start_ms: 30440\n  end_ms: 32670\n  words:\n  - text: 'No '\n    start_ms: 30440\n  - text: 'matter '\n    start_ms: 30756\n  - text: 'what '\n    start_ms: 31052\n  - text: 'those '\n    start_ms: 31210\n  - text: 'idiots '\n    start_ms: 31427\n  - text: 'at '\n    start_ms: 31881\n  - text: 'work '\n    start_ms: 32019\n  - text: say\n    start_ms: 32295\n- text: Aries\n  start_ms: 32670\n  end_ms: 33060\n  words:\n  - text: Aries\n    start_ms: 32670\n- text: The look on your face will be priceless\n  start_ms: 33070\n  end_ms: 34840\n  words:\n  - text: 'The '\n    start_ms: 33070\n  - text: 'look '\n    start_ms: 33270\n  - text: 'on '\n    start_ms: 33490\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 33630\n  - text: 'face '\n    start_ms: 33770\n  - text: 'will '\n    start_ms: 34090\n  - text: 'be '\n    start_ms: 34250\n  - text: priceless\n    start_ms: 34390\n- text: When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n  start_ms: 34880\n  end_ms: 38430\n  words:\n  - text: 'When '\n    start_ms: 34880\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 35115\n  - text: 'find '\n    start_ms: 35253\n  - text: 'that '\n    start_ms: 35606\n  - text: '40 '\n    start_ms: 35998\n  - text: 'pound '\n    start_ms: 36194\n  - text: 'watermelon '\n    start_ms: 36508\n  - text: 'in '\n    start_ms: 37489\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 37626\n  - text: colon\n    start_ms: 37763\n- text: Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n  start_ms: 38430\n  end_ms: 42720\n  words:\n  - text: 'Trade '\n    start_ms: 38430\n  - text: 'toothbrushes '\n    start_ms: 38910\n  - text: 'with '\n    start_ms: 39730\n  - text: 'an '\n    start_ms: 39890\n  - text: 'albino '\n    start_ms: 40070\n  - text: 'dwarf, '\n    start_ms: 40790\n  - text: 'then '\n    start_ms: 41150\n  - text: 'give '\n    start_ms: 41330\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 41530\n  - text: 'hickey '\n    start_ms: 41610\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 41970\n  - text: 'Meryl '\n    start_ms: 42110\n  - text: Streep\n    start_ms: 42410\n- text: Taurus\n  start_ms: 42730\n  end_ms: 43120\n  words:\n  - text: Taurus\n    start_ms: 42730\n- text: You will never find true happiness\n  start_ms: 43180\n  end_ms: 45740\n  words:\n  - text: 'You '\n    start_ms: 43180\n  - text: 'will '\n    start_ms: 43460\n  - text: 'never '\n    start_ms: 43620\n  - text: 'find '\n    start_ms: 44120\n  - text: 'true '\n    start_ms: 44420\n  - text: happiness\n    start_ms: 44760\n- text: What you gonna do, cry about it?\n  start_ms: 45760\n  end_ms: 48220\n  words:\n  - text: 'What '\n    start_ms: 45760\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 46068\n  - text: 'gonna '\n    start_ms: 46221\n  - text: 'do, '\n    start_ms: 46548\n  - text: 'cry '\n    start_ms: 46817\n  - text: 'about '\n    start_ms: 47240\n  - text: it?\n    start_ms: 47682\n- text: The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n  start_ms: 48220\n  end_ms: 50670\n  words:\n  - text: 'The '\n    start_ms: 48220\n  - text: 'stars '\n    start_ms: 48500\n  - text: 'predict '\n    start_ms: 48880\n  - text: 'tomorrow '\n    start_ms: 49520\n  - text: 'you''ll '\n    start_ms: 49980\n  - text: 'wake '\n    start_ms: 50200\n  - text: up\n    start_ms: 50520\n- text: Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n  start_ms: 50770\n  end_ms: 53720\n  words:\n  - text: 'Do '\n    start_ms: 50770\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 51078\n  - text: 'bunch '\n    start_ms: 51194\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 51541\n  - text: 'stuff '\n    start_ms: 51792\n  - text: 'and '\n    start_ms: 52139\n  - text: 'then '\n    start_ms: 52447\n  - text: 'go '\n    start_ms: 52737\n  - text: 'back '\n    start_ms: 52891\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 53045\n  - text: sleep\n    start_ms: 53180\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 53720\n  end_ms: 58780\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 53720\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 54200\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 54320\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 55100\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 55420\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 55600\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 55980\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 56180\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 56420\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 56760\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 58860\n  end_ms: 64000\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 58860\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 59408\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 59526\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 60289\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 60642\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 64000\n  end_ms: 69030\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 64000\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 64460\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 64600\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 65380\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 65700\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 65880\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 66165\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 66455\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 66680\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 67040\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 69170\n  end_ms: 72630\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 69170\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 69758\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 69895\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 70640\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 70954\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 71562\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 71914\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 72091\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 72297\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 72405\n- text: Gemini\n  start_ms: 72630\n  end_ms: 74210\n  words:\n  - text: Gemini\n    start_ms: 72630\n- text: Your birthday party will be ruined\n  start_ms: 74260\n  end_ms: 76150\n  words:\n  - text: 'Your '\n    start_ms: 74260\n  - text: 'birthday '\n    start_ms: 74540\n  - text: 'party '\n    start_ms: 75040\n  - text: 'will '\n    start_ms: 75520\n  - text: 'be '\n    start_ms: 75680\n  - text: ruined\n    start_ms: 75860\n- text: Once again by your explosive flatulence\n  start_ms: 76160\n  end_ms: 79310\n  words:\n  - text: 'Once '\n    start_ms: 76160\n  - text: 'again '\n    start_ms: 76701\n  - text: 'by '\n    start_ms: 77242\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 77416\n  - text: 'explosive '\n    start_ms: 77532\n  - text: flatulence\n    start_ms: 78150\n- text: Your love life will run into trouble\n  start_ms: 79310\n  end_ms: 81000\n  words:\n  - text: 'Your '\n    start_ms: 79310\n  - text: 'love '\n    start_ms: 79550\n  - text: 'life '\n    start_ms: 79750\n  - text: 'will '\n    start_ms: 79910\n  - text: 'run '\n    start_ms: 80090\n  - text: 'into '\n    start_ms: 80430\n  - text: trouble\n    start_ms: 80670\n- text: When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n  start_ms: 81090\n  end_ms: 83930\n  words:\n  - text: 'When '\n    start_ms: 81090\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 81444\n  - text: 'fiancé '\n    start_ms: 81601\n  - text: 'hurls '\n    start_ms: 82368\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 82721\n  - text: 'javelin '\n    start_ms: 82839\n  - text: 'through '\n    start_ms: 83291\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 83488\n  - text: chest\n    start_ms: 83645\n- text: Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n  start_ms: 83930\n  end_ms: 86190\n  words:\n  - text: 'Cancer, '\n    start_ms: 83930\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 84410\n  - text: 'position '\n    start_ms: 84570\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 85110\n  - text: 'Jupiter '\n    start_ms: 85250\n  - text: 'says '\n    start_ms: 85850\n  - text: that\n    start_ms: 86170\n- text: You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n  start_ms: 86220\n  end_ms: 89770\n  words:\n  - text: 'You '\n    start_ms: 86220\n  - text: 'should '\n    start_ms: 86499\n  - text: 'spend '\n    start_ms: 86699\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 87038\n  - text: 'rest '\n    start_ms: 87217\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 87556\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 87676\n  - text: 'week '\n    start_ms: 87855\n  - text: 'face '\n    start_ms: 88155\n  - text: 'down '\n    start_ms: 88494\n  - text: 'in '\n    start_ms: 88853\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 88972\n  - text: mud\n    start_ms: 89132\n- text: Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n  start_ms: 89770\n  end_ms: 94320\n  words:\n  - text: 'Try '\n    start_ms: 89770\n  - text: 'not '\n    start_ms: 90090\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 90250\n  - text: 'shove '\n    start_ms: 90390\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 90850\n  - text: 'roll '\n    start_ms: 91070\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 91490\n  - text: 'duct '\n    start_ms: 91710\n  - text: 'tape '\n    start_ms: 91990\n  - text: 'up '\n    start_ms: 92230\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 92370\n  - text: 'nose '\n    start_ms: 92510\n  - text: 'while '\n    start_ms: 92810\n  - text: 'taking '\n    start_ms: 93010\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 93490\n  - text: 'driver''s '\n    start_ms: 93610\n  - text: test\n    start_ms: 94110\n- text: Leo\n  start_ms: 94320\n  end_ms: 94630\n  words:\n  - text: Leo\n    start_ms: 94320\n- text: Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n  start_ms: 94630\n  end_ms: 96970\n  words:\n  - text: 'Now '\n    start_ms: 94630\n  - text: 'is '\n    start_ms: 94890\n  - text: 'not '\n    start_ms: 95010\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 95230\n  - text: 'good '\n    start_ms: 95310\n  - text: 'time '\n    start_ms: 95510\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 95810\n  - text: 'photocopy '\n    start_ms: 95950\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 96630\n  - text: butt\n    start_ms: 96810\n- text: And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n  start_ms: 97040\n  end_ms: 99830\n  words:\n  - text: 'And '\n    start_ms: 97040\n  - text: 'staple '\n    start_ms: 97300\n  - text: 'it '\n    start_ms: 97700\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 97820\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 97980\n  - text: 'bosses '\n    start_ms: 98140\n  - text: 'face, '\n    start_ms: 98780\n  - text: 'oh '\n    start_ms: 99140\n  - text: no\n    start_ms: 99420\n- text: Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n  start_ms: 99830\n  end_ms: 101780\n  words:\n  - text: 'Eat '\n    start_ms: 99830\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 100130\n  - text: 'bucket '\n    start_ms: 100250\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 100590\n  - text: tuna-\n    start_ms: 100710\n  - text: 'flavored '\n    start_ms: 101170\n  - text: pudding\n    start_ms: 101530\n- text: Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n  start_ms: 101790\n  end_ms: 105790\n  words:\n  - text: 'Then '\n    start_ms: 101790\n  - text: 'wash '\n    start_ms: 102049\n  - text: 'it '\n    start_ms: 102427\n  - text: 'down '\n    start_ms: 102646\n  - text: 'with '\n    start_ms: 103004\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 103143\n  - text: 'gallon '\n    start_ms: 103283\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 103700\n  - text: 'Strawberry '\n    start_ms: 103899\n  - text: Quik\n    start_ms: 104556\n- text: Virgo\n  start_ms: 105790\n  end_ms: 106100\n  words:\n  - text: Virgo\n    start_ms: 105790\n- text: All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n  start_ms: 106190\n  end_ms: 110260\n  words:\n  - text: 'All '\n    start_ms: 106190\n  - text: 'Virgos '\n    start_ms: 106269\n  - text: 'are '\n    start_ms: 106467\n  - text: 'extremely '\n    start_ms: 106646\n  - text: 'friendly '\n    start_ms: 107220\n  - text: 'and '\n    start_ms: 107953\n  - text: 'intelligent, '\n    start_ms: 108289\n  - text: 'except '\n    start_ms: 109458\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 109755\n  - text: you\n    start_ms: 109953\n- text: Expect a big surprise today\n  start_ms: 110260\n  end_ms: 112460\n  words:\n  - text: 'Expect '\n    start_ms: 110260\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 110957\n  - text: 'big '\n    start_ms: 111096\n  - text: 'surprise '\n    start_ms: 111375\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 112012\n- text: When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n  start_ms: 112460\n  end_ms: 115530\n  words:\n  - text: 'When '\n    start_ms: 112460\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 112836\n  - text: 'wind '\n    start_ms: 112995\n  - text: 'up '\n    start_ms: 113331\n  - text: 'with '\n    start_ms: 113470\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 113609\n  - text: 'head '\n    start_ms: 113747\n  - text: 'impaled '\n    start_ms: 114005\n  - text: 'upon '\n    start_ms: 114599\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 114916\n  - text: stick\n    start_ms: 115035\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 115530\n  end_ms: 120610\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 115530\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 116030\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 116170\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 116970\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 117290\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 117450\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 117750\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 117950\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 118250\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 118790\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 120640\n  end_ms: 125840\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 120640\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 121210\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 121348\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 122114\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 122449\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 125840\n  end_ms: 130920\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 125840\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 126300\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 126440\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 127200\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 127520\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 127680\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 128060\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 128400\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 128500\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 128840\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 130920\n  end_ms: 133910\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 130920\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 131440\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 131540\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 132340\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 132660\n- text: Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n  start_ms: 133970\n  end_ms: 139160\n  words:\n  - text: 'Now '\n    start_ms: 133970\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 135990\n  - text: 'may '\n    start_ms: 136110\n  - text: 'find '\n    start_ms: 136250\n  - text: 'it '\n    start_ms: 136470\n  - text: 'inconceivable '\n    start_ms: 136630\n  - text: 'or '\n    start_ms: 137390\n  - text: 'rather '\n    start_ms: 137550\n  - text: 'very '\n    start_ms: 137870\n  - text: 'least '\n    start_ms: 138170\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 138410\n  - text: 'bit '\n    start_ms: 138510\n  - text: 'unlikely '\n    start_ms: 138710\n  - text: that\n    start_ms: 139110\n- text: The relative position of the planets and the stars\n  start_ms: 139180\n  end_ms: 141410\n  words:\n  - text: 'The '\n    start_ms: 139180\n  - text: 'relative '\n    start_ms: 139475\n  - text: 'position '\n    start_ms: 139966\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 140496\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 140614\n  - text: 'planets '\n    start_ms: 140732\n  - text: 'and '\n    start_ms: 141105\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 141223\n  - text: stars\n    start_ms: 141345\n- text: Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n  start_ms: 141410\n  end_ms: 143440\n  words:\n  - text: 'Could '\n    start_ms: 141410\n  - text: 'have '\n    start_ms: 141727\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 141905\n  - text: 'special '\n    start_ms: 142004\n  - text: 'deep '\n    start_ms: 142321\n  - text: 'significance '\n    start_ms: 142499\n  - text: 'or '\n    start_ms: 143173\n  - text: meaning\n    start_ms: 143291\n- text: That exclusively applies to only you\n  start_ms: 143440\n  end_ms: 145280\n  words:\n  - text: 'That '\n    start_ms: 143440\n  - text: 'exclusively '\n    start_ms: 143780\n  - text: 'applies '\n    start_ms: 144440\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 144780\n  - text: 'only '\n    start_ms: 144960\n  - text: you\n    start_ms: 145220\n- text: But, let me give you my assurance that\n  start_ms: 145300\n  end_ms: 146910\n  words:\n  - text: 'But, '\n    start_ms: 145300\n  - text: 'let '\n    start_ms: 145600\n  - text: 'me '\n    start_ms: 145740\n  - text: 'give '\n    start_ms: 145920\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 146100\n  - text: 'my '\n    start_ms: 146220\n  - text: 'assurance '\n    start_ms: 146440\n  - text: that\n    start_ms: 146840\n- text: These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n  start_ms: 146980\n  end_ms: 148670\n  words:\n  - text: 'These '\n    start_ms: 146980\n  - text: 'forecasts '\n    start_ms: 147235\n  - text: 'and '\n    start_ms: 147589\n  - text: 'predictions '\n    start_ms: 147707\n  - text: 'are '\n    start_ms: 148238\n  - text: 'all '\n    start_ms: 148375\n  - text: 'based '\n    start_ms: 148493\n  - text: on\n    start_ms: 148659\n- text: Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n  start_ms: 148670\n  end_ms: 150770\n  words:\n  - text: 'Solid, '\n    start_ms: 148670\n  - text: 'scientific, '\n    start_ms: 149150\n  - text: 'documented '\n    start_ms: 149790\n  - text: evidence\n    start_ms: 150490\n- text: So you would have to be some kind of moron\n  start_ms: 150770\n  end_ms: 152440\n  words:\n  - text: 'So '\n    start_ms: 150770\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 151110\n  - text: 'would '\n    start_ms: 151230\n  - text: 'have '\n    start_ms: 151390\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 151570\n  - text: 'be '\n    start_ms: 151710\n  - text: 'some '\n    start_ms: 151850\n  - text: 'kind '\n    start_ms: 152030\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 152210\n  - text: moron\n    start_ms: 152330\n- text: Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n  start_ms: 152470\n  end_ms: 155630\n  words:\n  - text: 'Not '\n    start_ms: 152470\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 152860\n  - text: 'realize '\n    start_ms: 153036\n  - text: 'that '\n    start_ms: 153504\n  - text: 'every '\n    start_ms: 153718\n  - text: 'single '\n    start_ms: 153952\n  - text: 'one '\n    start_ms: 154284\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 154460\n  - text: 'them '\n    start_ms: 154596\n  - text: 'is '\n    start_ms: 154772\n  - text: 'absolutely '\n    start_ms: 154967\n  - text: 'true'\n    start_ms: 155513\n- text: Where was I?\n  start_ms: 155630\n  end_ms: 156100\n  words:\n  - text: 'Where '\n    start_ms: 155630\n  - text: 'was '\n    start_ms: 155825\n  - text: I?\n    start_ms: 156020\n- text: Libra\n  start_ms: 156100\n  end_ms: 156450\n  words:\n  - text: Libra\n    start_ms: 156100\n- text: A big promotion is just around\n  start_ms: 156530\n  end_ms: 158500\n  words:\n  - text: 'A '\n    start_ms: 156530\n  - text: 'big '\n    start_ms: 156860\n  - text: 'promotion '\n    start_ms: 157151\n  - text: 'is '\n    start_ms: 157986\n  - text: 'just '\n    start_ms: 158122\n  - text: around\n    start_ms: 158296\n- text: The corner for someone much more talented than you\n  start_ms: 158500\n  end_ms: 161790\n  words:\n  - text: 'The '\n    start_ms: 158500\n  - text: 'corner '\n    start_ms: 158700\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 159200\n  - text: 'someone '\n    start_ms: 159360\n  - text: 'much '\n    start_ms: 159660\n  - text: 'more '\n    start_ms: 159840\n  - text: 'talented '\n    start_ms: 160000\n  - text: 'than '\n    start_ms: 160800\n  - text: you\n    start_ms: 161200\n- text: Laughter is the very best medicine\n  start_ms: 161820\n  end_ms: 163630\n  words:\n  - text: 'Laughter '\n    start_ms: 161820\n  - text: 'is '\n    start_ms: 162351\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 162489\n  - text: 'very '\n    start_ms: 162607\n  - text: 'best '\n    start_ms: 162922\n  - text: medicine\n    start_ms: 163099\n- text: Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n  start_ms: 163630\n  end_ms: 166260\n  words:\n  - text: 'Remember '\n    start_ms: 163630\n  - text: 'that '\n    start_ms: 164230\n  - text: 'when '\n    start_ms: 164410\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 164710\n  - text: 'appendix '\n    start_ms: 164910\n  - text: 'bursts '\n    start_ms: 165650\n  - text: 'next '\n    start_ms: 165930\n  - text: week\n    start_ms: 166170\n- text: Scorpio, get ready for an\n  start_ms: 166340\n  end_ms: 167740\n  words:\n  - text: 'Scorpio, '\n    start_ms: 166340\n  - text: 'get '\n    start_ms: 166982\n  - text: 'ready '\n    start_ms: 167137\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 167448\n  - text: an\n    start_ms: 167662\n- text: Unexpected trip\n  start_ms: 167740\n  end_ms: 169110\n  words:\n  - text: 'Unexpected '\n    start_ms: 167740\n  - text: trip\n    start_ms: 168848\n- text: When you fall screaming from an open window\n  start_ms: 169110\n  end_ms: 171790\n  words:\n  - text: 'When '\n    start_ms: 169110\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 169350\n  - text: 'fall '\n    start_ms: 169470\n  - text: 'screaming '\n    start_ms: 169630\n  - text: 'from '\n    start_ms: 169970\n  - text: 'an '\n    start_ms: 170210\n  - text: 'open '\n    start_ms: 170370\n  - text: window\n    start_ms: 170810\n- text: Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n  start_ms: 171860\n  end_ms: 176770\n  words:\n  - text: 'Work '\n    start_ms: 171860\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 172220\n  - text: 'little '\n    start_ms: 172340\n  - text: 'bit '\n    start_ms: 172640\n  - text: 'harder '\n    start_ms: 172800\n  - text: 'on '\n    start_ms: 173320\n  - text: 'improving '\n    start_ms: 173480\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 173940\n  - text: 'low '\n    start_ms: 174100\n  - text: self-\n    start_ms: 174720\n  - text: 'esteem, '\n    start_ms: 175080\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 175740\n  - text: 'stupid '\n    start_ms: 176020\n  - text: freak\n    start_ms: 176500\n- text: Sagittarius\n  start_ms: 176780\n  end_ms: 177420\n  words:\n  - text: Sagittarius\n    start_ms: 176780\n- text: All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n  start_ms: 177460\n  end_ms: 182190\n  words:\n  - text: 'All '\n    start_ms: 177460\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 177857\n  - text: 'friends '\n    start_ms: 177995\n  - text: 'are '\n    start_ms: 178352\n  - text: 'laughing '\n    start_ms: 178630\n  - text: 'behind '\n    start_ms: 179126\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 179622\n  - text: 'back '\n    start_ms: 179919\n  - text: '(kill '\n    start_ms: 180990\n  - text: them)\n    start_ms: 181684\n- text: Take down all those naked pictures of\n  start_ms: 182190\n  end_ms: 184250\n  words:\n  - text: 'Take '\n    start_ms: 182190\n  - text: 'down '\n    start_ms: 182510\n  - text: 'all '\n    start_ms: 182710\n  - text: 'those '\n    start_ms: 182970\n  - text: 'naked '\n    start_ms: 183150\n  - text: 'pictures '\n    start_ms: 183770\n  - text: of\n    start_ms: 184230\n- text: Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n  start_ms: 184270\n  end_ms: 186940\n  words:\n  - text: 'Ernest '\n    start_ms: 184270\n  - text: 'Borgnine, '\n    start_ms: 185050\n  - text: 'you''ve '\n    start_ms: 185590\n  - text: 'got '\n    start_ms: 185710\n  - text: 'hanging '\n    start_ms: 185870\n  - text: 'in '\n    start_ms: 186450\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 186650\n  - text: den\n    start_ms: 186830\n- text: Capricorn\n  start_ms: 186950\n  end_ms: 187880\n  words:\n  - text: Capricorn\n    start_ms: 186950\n- text: The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n  start_ms: 187880\n  end_ms: 191340\n  words:\n  - text: 'The '\n    start_ms: 187880\n  - text: 'stars '\n    start_ms: 188218\n  - text: 'say '\n    start_ms: 188596\n  - text: 'that '\n    start_ms: 188874\n  - text: 'you''re '\n    start_ms: 189053\n  - text: 'an '\n    start_ms: 189272\n  - text: 'exciting '\n    start_ms: 189411\n  - text: 'and '\n    start_ms: 190028\n  - text: 'wonderful '\n    start_ms: 190187\n  - text: person\n    start_ms: 190803\n- text: But, you know they're lying\n  start_ms: 191340\n  end_ms: 192610\n  words:\n  - text: 'But, '\n    start_ms: 191340\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 191780\n  - text: 'know '\n    start_ms: 191900\n  - text: 'they''re '\n    start_ms: 192060\n  - text: lying\n    start_ms: 192240\n- text: If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n  start_ms: 192620\n  end_ms: 194400\n  words:\n  - text: 'If '\n    start_ms: 192620\n  - text: 'I '\n    start_ms: 192940\n  - text: 'were '\n    start_ms: 193020\n  - text: 'you, '\n    start_ms: 193240\n  - text: 'I''d '\n    start_ms: 193400\n  - text: 'lock '\n    start_ms: 193520\n  - text: 'my '\n    start_ms: 193700\n  - text: 'doors '\n    start_ms: 193840\n  - text: 'and '\n    start_ms: 194040\n  - text: windows\n    start_ms: 194180\n- text: And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n  start_ms: 194420\n  end_ms: 197970\n  words:\n  - text: 'And '\n    start_ms: 194420\n  - text: 'never, '\n    start_ms: 194720\n  - text: 'never, '\n    start_ms: 195200\n  - text: 'never, '\n    start_ms: 195540\n  - text: 'never, '\n    start_ms: 195860\n  - text: 'never '\n    start_ms: 196160\n  - text: 'leave '\n    start_ms: 196420\n  - text: 'my '\n    start_ms: 196620\n  - text: 'house '\n    start_ms: 196860\n  - text: again\n    start_ms: 197160\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 197980\n  end_ms: 203040\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 197980\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 198440\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 198560\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 199360\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 199660\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 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223640\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 224096\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 224561\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 224987\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 225324\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n  start_ms: 228800\n  end_ms: 233880\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 228800\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 229220\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 229340\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 230140\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 230440\n  - text: '(yay, '\n    start_ms: 231900\n  - text: 'yay, '\n    start_ms: 232260\n  - text: 'yay, '\n    start_ms: 232580\n  - text: 'yay, '\n    start_ms: 232710\n  - text: yay)\n    start_ms: 232880\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 233960\n  end_ms: 237090\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 233960\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 234440\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 234560\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 235340\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 235680\nplain: |-\n  Aquarius\n  There's travel in your future\n  When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n  Fill that void in your pathetic life\n  By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n\n  Pisces\n  Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n  You are the true Lord of the dance\n  No matter what those idiots at work say\n\n  Aries\n  The look on your face will be priceless\n  When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n  Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n\n  Taurus\n  You will never find true happiness\n  What you gonna do, cry about it?\n  The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n  Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n\n  Gemini\n  Your birthday party will be ruined\n  Once again by your explosive flatulence\n  Your love life will run into trouble\n  When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n\n  Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n  You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n  Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n\n  Leo\n  Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n  And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n  Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n  Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n\n  Virgo\n  All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n  Expect a big surprise today\n  When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n\n  Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n  The relative position of the planets and the stars\n  Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n  That exclusively applies to only you\n\n  But, let me give you my assurance that\n  These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n  Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n  So you would have to be some kind of moron\n  Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n\n  Where was I?\n\n  Libra\n  A big promotion is just around\n  The corner for someone much more talented than you\n  Laughter is the very best medicine\n  Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n\n  Scorpio, get ready for an\n  Unexpected trip\n  When you fall screaming from an open window\n  Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n\n  Sagittarius\n  All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n  Take down all those naked pictures of\n  Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n\n  Capricorn\n  The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n  But, you know they're lying\n  If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n  And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n"},{"id":30123882,"name":"Your Horoscope For Today","trackName":"Your Horoscope For Today","artistName":"″Weird Al″ Yankovic","albumName":"The Essential ''Weird Al'' Yankovic","duration":241.0,"instrumental":false,"hasWordSync":false,"plainLyrics":"Aquarius\nThere's travel in your future\nWhen your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\nFill that void in your pathetic life\nBy playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n\nPisces\nTry to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\nYou are the true Lord of the dance\nNo matter what those idiots at work say\n\nAries\nThe look on your face will be priceless\nWhen you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\nTrade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n\nTaurus\nYou will never find true happiness\nWhat you gonna do, cry about it?\nThe stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\nDo a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n\nGemini\nYour birthday party will be ruined\nOnce again by your explosive flatulence\nYour love life will run into trouble\nWhen your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n\nCancer, the position of Jupiter says that\nYou should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\nTry not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n\nLeo\nNow is not a good time to photocopy your butt\nAnd staple it to your bosses face, oh no\nEat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\nThen wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n\nVirgo\nAll Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\nExpect a big surprise today\nWhen you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\n\nNow you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\nThe relative position of the planets and the stars\nCould have a special deep significance or meaning\nThat exclusively applies to only you\n\nBut, let me give you my assurance that\nThese forecasts and predictions are all based on\nSolid, scientific, documented evidence\nSo you would have to be some kind of moron\nNot to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n\nWhere was I?\n\nLibra\nA big promotion is just around\nThe corner for someone much more talented than you\nLaughter is the very best medicine\nRemember that when your appendix bursts next week\n\nScorpio, get ready for an\nUnexpected trip\nWhen you fall screaming from an open window\nWork a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n\nSagittarius\nAll your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\nTake down all those naked pictures of\nErnest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n\nCapricorn\nThe stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\nBut, you know they're lying\nIf I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\nAnd never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\nThat's your horoscope for today","syncedLyrics":"[00:11.76] Aquarius\n[00:12.47] There's travel in your future\n[00:13.76] When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n[00:17.72] Fill that void in your pathetic life\n[00:19.82] By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n[00:22.55] Pisces\n[00:22.94] Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n[00:27.68] You are the true Lord of the dance\n[00:30.45] No matter what those idiots at work say\n[00:32.69] Aries\n[00:33.02] The look on your face will be priceless\n[00:34.88] When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n[00:38.43] Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n[00:42.78] Taurus\n[00:43.15] You will never find true happiness\n[00:45.73] What you gonna do, cry about it?\n[00:48.27] The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n[00:50.77] Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n[00:53.75] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[00:58.86] That's your horoscope for today\n[01:04.06] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[01:09.15] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[01:12.66] Gemini\n[01:14.22] Your birthday party will be ruined\n[01:16.19] Once again by your explosive flatulence\n[01:19.34] Your love life will run into trouble\n[01:21.05] When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n[01:23.94] Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n[01:26.28] You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n[01:29.73] Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n[01:34.32] Leo\n[01:34.64] Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n[01:37.00] And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n[01:39.88] Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n[01:41.77] Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n[01:45.72] Virgo\n[01:46.13] All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n[01:50.22] Expect a big surprise today\n[01:52.41] When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n[01:55.59] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[02:00.61] That's your horoscope for today\n[02:05.83] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[02:10.98] That's your horoscope for today\n[02:13.95] Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n[02:19.13] The relative position of the planets and the stars\n[02:21.43] Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n[02:23.48] That exclusively applies to only you\n[02:25.39] But, let me give you my assurance that\n[02:26.90] These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n[02:28.63] Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n[02:30.76] So you would have to be some kind of moron\n[02:32.46] Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n[02:35.69] Where was I?\n[02:36.12] Libra\n[02:36.58] A big promotion is just around\n[02:38.58] The corner for someone much more talented than you\n[02:41.86] Laughter is the very best medicine\n[02:43.63] Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n[02:46.33] Scorpio, get ready for an\n[02:47.74] Unexpected trip\n[02:49.17] When you fall screaming from an open window\n[02:51.85] Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n[02:56.79] Sagittarius\n[02:57.48] All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n[03:02.13] Take down all those naked pictures of\n[03:04.26] Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n[03:06.90] Capricorn\n[03:07.87] The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n[03:11.38] But, you know they're lying\n[03:12.61] If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n[03:14.47] And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n[03:17.90] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:23.05] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:28.24] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:33.35] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:38.57] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:43.67] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:48.84] That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n[03:53.97] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:57.15] ","lyricsfile":"version: '1.0'\nmetadata:\n  title: Your Horoscope For Today\n  artist: ″Weird Al″ Yankovic\n  album: The Essential ''Weird Al'' Yankovic\n  duration_ms: 241000\n  instrumental: false\nlines:\n- text: Aquarius\n  start_ms: 11760\n  end_ms: 12470\n- text: There's travel in your future\n  start_ms: 12470\n  end_ms: 13760\n- text: When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n  start_ms: 13760\n  end_ms: 17720\n- text: Fill that void in your pathetic life\n  start_ms: 17720\n  end_ms: 19820\n- text: By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n  start_ms: 19820\n  end_ms: 22550\n- text: Pisces\n  start_ms: 22550\n  end_ms: 22940\n- text: Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n  start_ms: 22940\n  end_ms: 27680\n- text: You are the true Lord of the dance\n  start_ms: 27680\n  end_ms: 30450\n- text: No matter what those idiots at work say\n  start_ms: 30450\n  end_ms: 32690\n- text: Aries\n  start_ms: 32690\n  end_ms: 33020\n- text: The look on your face will be priceless\n  start_ms: 33020\n  end_ms: 34880\n- text: When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n  start_ms: 34880\n  end_ms: 38430\n- text: Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n  start_ms: 38430\n  end_ms: 42780\n- text: Taurus\n  start_ms: 42780\n  end_ms: 43150\n- text: You will never find true happiness\n  start_ms: 43150\n  end_ms: 45730\n- text: What you gonna do, cry about it?\n  start_ms: 45730\n  end_ms: 48270\n- text: The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n  start_ms: 48270\n  end_ms: 50770\n- text: Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n  start_ms: 50770\n  end_ms: 53750\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 53750\n  end_ms: 58860\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 58860\n  end_ms: 64060\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 64060\n  end_ms: 69150\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 69150\n  end_ms: 72660\n- text: Gemini\n  start_ms: 72660\n  end_ms: 74220\n- text: Your birthday party will be ruined\n  start_ms: 74220\n  end_ms: 76190\n- text: Once again by your explosive flatulence\n  start_ms: 76190\n  end_ms: 79340\n- text: Your love life will run into trouble\n  start_ms: 79340\n  end_ms: 81050\n- text: When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n  start_ms: 81050\n  end_ms: 83940\n- text: Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n  start_ms: 83940\n  end_ms: 86280\n- text: You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n  start_ms: 86280\n  end_ms: 89730\n- text: Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n  start_ms: 89730\n  end_ms: 94320\n- text: Leo\n  start_ms: 94320\n  end_ms: 94640\n- text: Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n  start_ms: 94640\n  end_ms: 97000\n- text: And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n  start_ms: 97000\n  end_ms: 99880\n- text: Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n  start_ms: 99880\n  end_ms: 101770\n- text: Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n  start_ms: 101770\n  end_ms: 105720\n- text: Virgo\n  start_ms: 105720\n  end_ms: 106130\n- text: All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n  start_ms: 106130\n  end_ms: 110220\n- text: Expect a big surprise today\n  start_ms: 110220\n  end_ms: 112410\n- text: When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n  start_ms: 112410\n  end_ms: 115590\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 115590\n  end_ms: 120610\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 120610\n  end_ms: 125830\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 125830\n  end_ms: 130980\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 130980\n  end_ms: 133950\n- text: Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n  start_ms: 133950\n  end_ms: 139130\n- text: The relative position of the planets and the stars\n  start_ms: 139130\n  end_ms: 141430\n- text: Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n  start_ms: 141430\n  end_ms: 143480\n- text: That exclusively applies to only you\n  start_ms: 143480\n  end_ms: 145390\n- text: But, let me give you my assurance that\n  start_ms: 145390\n  end_ms: 146900\n- text: These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n  start_ms: 146900\n  end_ms: 148630\n- text: Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n  start_ms: 148630\n  end_ms: 150760\n- text: So you would have to be some kind of moron\n  start_ms: 150760\n  end_ms: 152460\n- text: Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n  start_ms: 152460\n  end_ms: 155690\n- text: Where was I?\n  start_ms: 155690\n  end_ms: 156120\n- text: Libra\n  start_ms: 156120\n  end_ms: 156580\n- text: A big promotion is just around\n  start_ms: 156580\n  end_ms: 158580\n- text: The corner for someone much more talented than you\n  start_ms: 158580\n  end_ms: 161860\n- text: Laughter is the very best medicine\n  start_ms: 161860\n  end_ms: 163630\n- text: Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n  start_ms: 163630\n  end_ms: 166330\n- text: Scorpio, get ready for an\n  start_ms: 166330\n  end_ms: 167740\n- text: Unexpected trip\n  start_ms: 167740\n  end_ms: 169170\n- text: When you fall screaming from an open window\n  start_ms: 169170\n  end_ms: 171850\n- text: Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n  start_ms: 171850\n  end_ms: 176790\n- text: Sagittarius\n  start_ms: 176790\n  end_ms: 177480\n- text: All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n  start_ms: 177480\n  end_ms: 182130\n- text: Take down all those naked pictures of\n  start_ms: 182130\n  end_ms: 184260\n- text: Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n  start_ms: 184260\n  end_ms: 186900\n- text: Capricorn\n  start_ms: 186900\n  end_ms: 187870\n- text: The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n  start_ms: 187870\n  end_ms: 191380\n- text: But, you know they're lying\n  start_ms: 191380\n  end_ms: 192610\n- text: If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n  start_ms: 192610\n  end_ms: 194470\n- text: And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n  start_ms: 194470\n  end_ms: 197900\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 197900\n  end_ms: 203050\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 203050\n  end_ms: 208240\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 208240\n  end_ms: 213350\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 213350\n  end_ms: 218570\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 218570\n  end_ms: 223670\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 223670\n  end_ms: 228840\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n  start_ms: 228840\n  end_ms: 233970\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 233970\n  end_ms: 237150\n- text: ''\n  start_ms: 237150\nplain: |-\n  Aquarius\n  There's travel in your future\n  When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n  Fill that void in your pathetic life\n  By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n\n  Pisces\n  Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n  You are the true Lord of the dance\n  No matter what those idiots at work say\n\n  Aries\n  The look on your face will be priceless\n  When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n  Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n\n  Taurus\n  You will never find true happiness\n  What you gonna do, cry about it?\n  The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n  Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n\n  Gemini\n  Your birthday party will be ruined\n  Once again by your explosive flatulence\n  Your love life will run into trouble\n  When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n\n  Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n  You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n  Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n\n  Leo\n  Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n  And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n  Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n  Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n\n  Virgo\n  All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n  Expect a big surprise today\n  When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n\n  Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n  The relative position of the planets and the stars\n  Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n  That exclusively applies to only you\n\n  But, let me give you my assurance that\n  These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n  Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n  So you would have to be some kind of moron\n  Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n\n  Where was I?\n\n  Libra\n  A big promotion is just around\n  The corner for someone much more talented than you\n  Laughter is the very best medicine\n  Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n\n  Scorpio, get ready for an\n  Unexpected trip\n  When you fall screaming from an open window\n  Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n\n  Sagittarius\n  All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n  Take down all those naked pictures of\n  Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n\n  Capricorn\n  The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n  But, you know they're lying\n  If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n  And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n"},{"id":19796906,"name":"Your Horoscope for Today","trackName":"Your Horoscope for Today","artistName":"“Weird Al” Yankovic","albumName":"The Essential “Weird Al” Yankovic","duration":243.2,"instrumental":false,"hasWordSync":false,"plainLyrics":"Aquarius\nThere's travel in your future\nWhen your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\nFill that void in your pathetic life\nBy playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n\nPisces\nTry to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\nYou are the true Lord of the dance\nNo matter what those idiots at work say\n\nAries\nThe look on your face will be priceless\nWhen you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\nTrade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n\nTaurus\nYou will never find true happiness\nWhat you gonna do, cry about it?\nThe stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\nDo a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n\nGemini\nYour birthday party will be ruined\nOnce again by your explosive flatulence\nYour love life will run into trouble\nWhen your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n\nCancer, the position of Jupiter says that\nYou should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\nTry not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n\nLeo\nNow is not a good time to photocopy your butt\nAnd staple it to your bosses face, oh no\nEat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\nThen wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n\nVirgo\nAll Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\nExpect a big surprise today\nWhen you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\n\nNow you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\nThe relative position of the planets and the stars\nCould have a special deep significance or meaning\nThat exclusively applies to only you\n\nBut, let me give you my assurance that\nThese forecasts and predictions are all based on\nSolid, scientific, documented evidence\nSo you would have to be some kind of moron\nNot to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n\nWhere was I?\n\nLibra\nA big promotion is just around\nThe corner for someone much more talented than you\nLaughter is the very best medicine\nRemember that when your appendix bursts next week\n\nScorpio, get ready for an\nUnexpected trip\nWhen you fall screaming from an open window\nWork a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n\nSagittarius\nAll your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\nTake down all those naked pictures of\nErnest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n\nCapricorn\nThe stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\nBut, you know they're lying\nIf I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\nAnd never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\nThat's your horoscope for today","syncedLyrics":"[00:10.94] Aquarius\n[00:12.19] There's travel in your future\n[00:13.34] When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n[00:17.38] Fill that void in your pathetic life\n[00:19.54] By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n[00:22.24] Pisces\n[00:22.99] Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n[00:27.50] You are the true Lord of the dance\n[00:30.35] No matter what those idiots at work say\n[00:32.24] Aries\n[00:32.71] The look on your face will be priceless\n[00:34.54] When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n[00:38.46] Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n[00:42.55] Taurus\n[00:42.95] You will never find true happiness\n[00:45.30] What you gonna do, cry about it?\n[00:48.07] The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n[00:50.41] Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n[00:53.39] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[00:58.76] That's your horoscope for today\n[01:03.88] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[01:08.97] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[01:12.62] Gemini\n[01:14.03] Your birthday party will be ruined\n[01:16.08] Once again by your explosive flatulence\n[01:18.76] Your love life will run into trouble\n[01:20.94] When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n[01:23.86] Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n[01:26.01] You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n[01:29.66] Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n[01:34.18] Leo\n[01:34.56] Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n[01:37.05] And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n[01:39.63] Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n[01:41.54] Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n[01:44.80] Virgo\n[01:45.38] All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n[01:49.94] Expect a big surprise today\n[01:52.39] When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n[01:55.23] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[02:00.38] That's your horoscope for today\n[02:05.61] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[02:10.77] That's your horoscope for today\n[02:13.96] Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n[02:18.97] The relative position of the planets and the stars\n[02:21.32] Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n[02:23.46] That exclusively applies to only you\n[02:25.14] But, let me give you my assurance that\n[02:26.73] These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n[02:28.44] Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n[02:30.60] So you would have to be some kind of moron\n[02:32.30] Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n[02:35.42] Where was I?\n[02:36.02] Libra\n[02:36.43] A big promotion is just around\n[02:38.39] The corner for someone much more talented than you\n[02:41.39] Laughter is the very best medicine\n[02:43.47] Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n[02:46.35] Scorpio, get ready for an\n[02:47.51] Unexpected trip\n[02:48.93] When you fall screaming from an open window\n[02:51.54] Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n[02:56.46] Sagittarius\n[02:57.29] All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n[03:01.99] Take down all those naked pictures of\n[03:04.00] Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n[03:06.89] Capricorn\n[03:07.56] The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n[03:11.15] But, you know they're lying\n[03:12.40] If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n[03:14.29] And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n[03:17.43] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:22.80] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:27.96] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:33.19] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:38.37] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:43.59] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:48.64] That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n[03:53.60] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:57.11] ","lyricsfile":"version: '1.0'\nmetadata:\n  title: Your Horoscope for Today\n  artist: “Weird Al” Yankovic\n  album: The Essential “Weird Al” Yankovic\n  duration_ms: 243200\n  instrumental: false\nlines:\n- text: Aquarius\n  start_ms: 10940\n  end_ms: 12190\n- text: There's travel in your future\n  start_ms: 12190\n  end_ms: 13340\n- text: When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n  start_ms: 13340\n  end_ms: 17380\n- text: Fill that void in your pathetic life\n  start_ms: 17380\n  end_ms: 19540\n- text: By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n  start_ms: 19540\n  end_ms: 22240\n- text: Pisces\n  start_ms: 22240\n  end_ms: 22990\n- text: Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n  start_ms: 22990\n  end_ms: 27500\n- text: You are the true Lord of the dance\n  start_ms: 27500\n  end_ms: 30350\n- text: No matter what those idiots at work say\n  start_ms: 30350\n  end_ms: 32240\n- text: Aries\n  start_ms: 32240\n  end_ms: 32710\n- text: The look on your face will be priceless\n  start_ms: 32710\n  end_ms: 34540\n- text: When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n  start_ms: 34540\n  end_ms: 38460\n- text: Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n  start_ms: 38460\n  end_ms: 42550\n- text: Taurus\n  start_ms: 42550\n  end_ms: 42950\n- text: You will never find true happiness\n  start_ms: 42950\n  end_ms: 45300\n- text: What you gonna do, cry about it?\n  start_ms: 45300\n  end_ms: 48070\n- text: The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n  start_ms: 48070\n  end_ms: 50410\n- text: Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n  start_ms: 50410\n  end_ms: 53390\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 53390\n  end_ms: 58760\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 58760\n  end_ms: 63880\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 63880\n  end_ms: 68970\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 68970\n  end_ms: 72620\n- text: Gemini\n  start_ms: 72620\n  end_ms: 74030\n- text: Your birthday party will be ruined\n  start_ms: 74030\n  end_ms: 76080\n- text: Once again by your explosive flatulence\n  start_ms: 76080\n  end_ms: 78760\n- text: Your love life will run into trouble\n  start_ms: 78760\n  end_ms: 80940\n- text: When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n  start_ms: 80940\n  end_ms: 83860\n- text: Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n  start_ms: 83860\n  end_ms: 86010\n- text: You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n  start_ms: 86010\n  end_ms: 89660\n- text: Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n  start_ms: 89660\n  end_ms: 94180\n- text: Leo\n  start_ms: 94180\n  end_ms: 94560\n- text: Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n  start_ms: 94560\n  end_ms: 97050\n- text: And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n  start_ms: 97050\n  end_ms: 99630\n- text: Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n  start_ms: 99630\n  end_ms: 101540\n- text: Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n  start_ms: 101540\n  end_ms: 104800\n- text: Virgo\n  start_ms: 104800\n  end_ms: 105380\n- text: All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n  start_ms: 105380\n  end_ms: 109940\n- text: Expect a big surprise today\n  start_ms: 109940\n  end_ms: 112390\n- text: When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n  start_ms: 112390\n  end_ms: 115230\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 115230\n  end_ms: 120380\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 120380\n  end_ms: 125610\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 125610\n  end_ms: 130770\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 130770\n  end_ms: 133960\n- text: Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n  start_ms: 133960\n  end_ms: 138970\n- text: The relative position of the planets and the stars\n  start_ms: 138970\n  end_ms: 141320\n- text: Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n  start_ms: 141320\n  end_ms: 143460\n- text: That exclusively applies to only you\n  start_ms: 143460\n  end_ms: 145140\n- text: But, let me give you my assurance that\n  start_ms: 145140\n  end_ms: 146730\n- text: These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n  start_ms: 146730\n  end_ms: 148440\n- text: Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n  start_ms: 148440\n  end_ms: 150600\n- text: So you would have to be some kind of moron\n  start_ms: 150600\n  end_ms: 152300\n- text: Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n  start_ms: 152300\n  end_ms: 155420\n- text: Where was I?\n  start_ms: 155420\n  end_ms: 156020\n- text: Libra\n  start_ms: 156020\n  end_ms: 156430\n- text: A big promotion is just around\n  start_ms: 156430\n  end_ms: 158390\n- text: The corner for someone much more talented than you\n  start_ms: 158390\n  end_ms: 161390\n- text: Laughter is the very best medicine\n  start_ms: 161390\n  end_ms: 163470\n- text: Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n  start_ms: 163470\n  end_ms: 166350\n- text: Scorpio, get ready for an\n  start_ms: 166350\n  end_ms: 167510\n- text: Unexpected trip\n  start_ms: 167510\n  end_ms: 168930\n- text: When you fall screaming from an open window\n  start_ms: 168930\n  end_ms: 171540\n- text: Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n  start_ms: 171540\n  end_ms: 176460\n- text: Sagittarius\n  start_ms: 176460\n  end_ms: 177290\n- text: All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n  start_ms: 177290\n  end_ms: 181990\n- text: Take down all those naked pictures of\n  start_ms: 181990\n  end_ms: 184000\n- text: Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n  start_ms: 184000\n  end_ms: 186890\n- text: Capricorn\n  start_ms: 186890\n  end_ms: 187560\n- text: The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n  start_ms: 187560\n  end_ms: 191150\n- text: But, you know they're lying\n  start_ms: 191150\n  end_ms: 192400\n- text: If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n  start_ms: 192400\n  end_ms: 194290\n- text: And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n  start_ms: 194290\n  end_ms: 197430\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 197430\n  end_ms: 202800\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 202800\n  end_ms: 207960\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 207960\n  end_ms: 213190\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 213190\n  end_ms: 218370\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 218370\n  end_ms: 223590\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 223590\n  end_ms: 228640\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n  start_ms: 228640\n  end_ms: 233600\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 233600\n  end_ms: 237110\n- text: ''\n  start_ms: 237110\nplain: |-\n  Aquarius\n  There's travel in your future\n  When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n  Fill that void in your pathetic life\n  By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n\n  Pisces\n  Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n  You are the true Lord of the dance\n  No matter what those idiots at work say\n\n  Aries\n  The look on your face will be priceless\n  When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n  Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n\n  Taurus\n  You will never find true happiness\n  What you gonna do, cry about it?\n  The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n  Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n\n  Gemini\n  Your birthday party will be ruined\n  Once again by your explosive flatulence\n  Your love life will run into trouble\n  When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n\n  Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n  You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n  Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n\n  Leo\n  Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n  And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n  Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n  Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n\n  Virgo\n  All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n  Expect a big surprise today\n  When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n\n  Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n  The relative position of the planets and the stars\n  Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n  That exclusively applies to only you\n\n  But, let me give you my assurance that\n  These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n  Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n  So you would have to be some kind of moron\n  Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n\n  Where was I?\n\n  Libra\n  A big promotion is just around\n  The corner for someone much more talented than you\n  Laughter is the very best medicine\n  Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n\n  Scorpio, get ready for an\n  Unexpected trip\n  When you fall screaming from an open window\n  Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n\n  Sagittarius\n  All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n  Take down all those naked pictures of\n  Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n\n  Capricorn\n  The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n  But, you know they're lying\n  If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n  And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n"},{"id":21897566,"name":"Your Horoscope for Today","trackName":"Your Horoscope for Today","artistName":"“Weird Al” Yankovic","albumName":"The Essential Weird Al Yankovic","duration":240.746667,"instrumental":false,"hasWordSync":false,"plainLyrics":"Aquarius\nThere's travel in your future\nWhen your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\nFill that void in your pathetic life\nBy playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n\nPisces\nTry to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\nYou are the true Lord of the dance\nNo matter what those idiots at work say\n\nAries\nThe look on your face will be priceless\nWhen you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\nTrade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n\nTaurus\nYou will never find true happiness\nWhat you gonna do, cry about it?\nThe stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\nDo a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n\nGemini\nYour birthday party will be ruined\nOnce again by your explosive flatulence\nYour love life will run into trouble\nWhen your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n\nCancer, the position of Jupiter says that\nYou should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\nTry not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n\nLeo\nNow is not a good time to photocopy your butt\nAnd staple it to your bosses face, oh no\nEat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\nThen wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n\nVirgo\nAll Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\nExpect a big surprise today\nWhen you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\n\nNow you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\nThe relative position of the planets and the stars\nCould have a special deep significance or meaning\nThat exclusively applies to only you\n\nBut, let me give you my assurance that\nThese forecasts and predictions are all based on\nSolid, scientific, documented evidence\nSo you would have to be some kind of moron\nNot to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n\nWhere was I?\n\nLibra\nA big promotion is just around\nThe corner for someone much more talented than you\nLaughter is the very best medicine\nRemember that when your appendix bursts next week\n\nScorpio, get ready for an\nUnexpected trip\nWhen you fall screaming from an open window\nWork a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n\nSagittarius\nAll your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\nTake down all those naked pictures of\nErnest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n\nCapricorn\nThe stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\nBut, you know they're lying\nIf I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\nAnd never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\nThat's your horoscope for today","syncedLyrics":"[00:10.94] Aquarius\n[00:12.19] There's travel in your future\n[00:13.34] When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n[00:17.38] Fill that void in your pathetic life\n[00:19.54] By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n[00:22.24] Pisces\n[00:22.99] Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n[00:27.50] You are the true Lord of the dance\n[00:30.35] No matter what those idiots at work say\n[00:32.24] Aries\n[00:32.71] The look on your face will be priceless\n[00:34.54] When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n[00:38.46] Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n[00:42.55] Taurus\n[00:42.95] You will never find true happiness\n[00:45.30] What you gonna do, cry about it?\n[00:48.07] The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n[00:50.41] Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n[00:53.39] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[00:58.76] That's your horoscope for today\n[01:03.88] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[01:08.97] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[01:12.62] Gemini\n[01:14.03] Your birthday party will be ruined\n[01:16.08] Once again by your explosive flatulence\n[01:18.76] Your love life will run into trouble\n[01:20.94] When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n[01:23.86] Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n[01:26.01] You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n[01:29.66] Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n[01:34.18] Leo\n[01:34.56] Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n[01:37.05] And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n[01:39.63] Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n[01:41.54] Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n[01:44.80] Virgo\n[01:45.38] All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n[01:49.94] Expect a big surprise today\n[01:52.39] When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n[01:55.23] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[02:00.38] That's your horoscope for today\n[02:05.61] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[02:10.77] That's your horoscope for today\n[02:13.96] Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n[02:18.97] The relative position of the planets and the stars\n[02:21.32] Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n[02:23.46] That exclusively applies to only you\n[02:25.14] But, let me give you my assurance that\n[02:26.73] These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n[02:28.44] Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n[02:30.60] So you would have to be some kind of moron\n[02:32.30] Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n[02:35.42] Where was I?\n[02:36.02] Libra\n[02:36.43] A big promotion is just around\n[02:38.39] The corner for someone much more talented than you\n[02:41.39] Laughter is the very best medicine\n[02:43.47] Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n[02:46.35] Scorpio, get ready for an\n[02:47.51] Unexpected trip\n[02:48.93] When you fall screaming from an open window\n[02:51.54] Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n[02:56.46] Sagittarius\n[02:57.29] All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n[03:01.99] Take down all those naked pictures of\n[03:04.00] Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n[03:06.89] Capricorn\n[03:07.56] The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n[03:11.15] But, you know they're lying\n[03:12.40] If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n[03:14.29] And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n[03:17.43] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:22.80] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:27.96] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:33.19] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:38.37] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:43.59] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:48.64] That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n[03:53.60] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:57.11] ","lyricsfile":"version: '1.0'\nmetadata:\n  title: Your Horoscope for Today\n  artist: “Weird Al” Yankovic\n  album: The Essential Weird Al Yankovic\n  duration_ms: 240747\n  instrumental: false\nlines:\n- text: Aquarius\n  start_ms: 10940\n  end_ms: 12190\n- text: There's travel in your future\n  start_ms: 12190\n  end_ms: 13340\n- text: When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n  start_ms: 13340\n  end_ms: 17380\n- text: Fill that void in your pathetic life\n  start_ms: 17380\n  end_ms: 19540\n- text: By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n  start_ms: 19540\n  end_ms: 22240\n- text: Pisces\n  start_ms: 22240\n  end_ms: 22990\n- text: Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n  start_ms: 22990\n  end_ms: 27500\n- text: You are the true Lord of the dance\n  start_ms: 27500\n  end_ms: 30350\n- text: No matter what those idiots at work say\n  start_ms: 30350\n  end_ms: 32240\n- text: Aries\n  start_ms: 32240\n  end_ms: 32710\n- text: The look on your face will be priceless\n  start_ms: 32710\n  end_ms: 34540\n- text: When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n  start_ms: 34540\n  end_ms: 38460\n- text: Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n  start_ms: 38460\n  end_ms: 42550\n- text: Taurus\n  start_ms: 42550\n  end_ms: 42950\n- text: You will never find true happiness\n  start_ms: 42950\n  end_ms: 45300\n- text: What you gonna do, cry about it?\n  start_ms: 45300\n  end_ms: 48070\n- text: The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n  start_ms: 48070\n  end_ms: 50410\n- text: Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n  start_ms: 50410\n  end_ms: 53390\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 53390\n  end_ms: 58760\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 58760\n  end_ms: 63880\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 63880\n  end_ms: 68970\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 68970\n  end_ms: 72620\n- text: Gemini\n  start_ms: 72620\n  end_ms: 74030\n- text: Your birthday party will be ruined\n  start_ms: 74030\n  end_ms: 76080\n- text: Once again by your explosive flatulence\n  start_ms: 76080\n  end_ms: 78760\n- text: Your love life will run into trouble\n  start_ms: 78760\n  end_ms: 80940\n- text: When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n  start_ms: 80940\n  end_ms: 83860\n- text: Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n  start_ms: 83860\n  end_ms: 86010\n- text: You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n  start_ms: 86010\n  end_ms: 89660\n- text: Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n  start_ms: 89660\n  end_ms: 94180\n- text: Leo\n  start_ms: 94180\n  end_ms: 94560\n- text: Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n  start_ms: 94560\n  end_ms: 97050\n- text: And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n  start_ms: 97050\n  end_ms: 99630\n- text: Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n  start_ms: 99630\n  end_ms: 101540\n- text: Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n  start_ms: 101540\n  end_ms: 104800\n- text: Virgo\n  start_ms: 104800\n  end_ms: 105380\n- text: All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n  start_ms: 105380\n  end_ms: 109940\n- text: Expect a big surprise today\n  start_ms: 109940\n  end_ms: 112390\n- text: When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n  start_ms: 112390\n  end_ms: 115230\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 115230\n  end_ms: 120380\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 120380\n  end_ms: 125610\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 125610\n  end_ms: 130770\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 130770\n  end_ms: 133960\n- text: Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n  start_ms: 133960\n  end_ms: 138970\n- text: The relative position of the planets and the stars\n  start_ms: 138970\n  end_ms: 141320\n- text: Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n  start_ms: 141320\n  end_ms: 143460\n- text: That exclusively applies to only you\n  start_ms: 143460\n  end_ms: 145140\n- text: But, let me give you my assurance that\n  start_ms: 145140\n  end_ms: 146730\n- text: These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n  start_ms: 146730\n  end_ms: 148440\n- text: Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n  start_ms: 148440\n  end_ms: 150600\n- text: So you would have to be some kind of moron\n  start_ms: 150600\n  end_ms: 152300\n- text: Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n  start_ms: 152300\n  end_ms: 155420\n- text: Where was I?\n  start_ms: 155420\n  end_ms: 156020\n- text: Libra\n  start_ms: 156020\n  end_ms: 156430\n- text: A big promotion is just around\n  start_ms: 156430\n  end_ms: 158390\n- text: The corner for someone much more talented than you\n  start_ms: 158390\n  end_ms: 161390\n- text: Laughter is the very best medicine\n  start_ms: 161390\n  end_ms: 163470\n- text: Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n  start_ms: 163470\n  end_ms: 166350\n- text: Scorpio, get ready for an\n  start_ms: 166350\n  end_ms: 167510\n- text: Unexpected trip\n  start_ms: 167510\n  end_ms: 168930\n- text: When you fall screaming from an open window\n  start_ms: 168930\n  end_ms: 171540\n- text: Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n  start_ms: 171540\n  end_ms: 176460\n- text: Sagittarius\n  start_ms: 176460\n  end_ms: 177290\n- text: All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n  start_ms: 177290\n  end_ms: 181990\n- text: Take down all those naked pictures of\n  start_ms: 181990\n  end_ms: 184000\n- text: Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n  start_ms: 184000\n  end_ms: 186890\n- text: Capricorn\n  start_ms: 186890\n  end_ms: 187560\n- text: The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n  start_ms: 187560\n  end_ms: 191150\n- text: But, you know they're lying\n  start_ms: 191150\n  end_ms: 192400\n- text: If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n  start_ms: 192400\n  end_ms: 194290\n- text: And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n  start_ms: 194290\n  end_ms: 197430\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 197430\n  end_ms: 202800\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 202800\n  end_ms: 207960\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 207960\n  end_ms: 213190\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 213190\n  end_ms: 218370\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 218370\n  end_ms: 223590\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 223590\n  end_ms: 228640\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n  start_ms: 228640\n  end_ms: 233600\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 233600\n  end_ms: 237110\n- text: ''\n  start_ms: 237110\nplain: |-\n  Aquarius\n  There's travel in your future\n  When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n  Fill that void in your pathetic life\n  By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n\n  Pisces\n  Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n  You are the true Lord of the dance\n  No matter what those idiots at work say\n\n  Aries\n  The look on your face will be priceless\n  When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n  Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n\n  Taurus\n  You will never find true happiness\n  What you gonna do, cry about it?\n  The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n  Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n\n  Gemini\n  Your birthday party will be ruined\n  Once again by your explosive flatulence\n  Your love life will run into trouble\n  When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n\n  Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n  You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n  Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n\n  Leo\n  Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n  And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n  Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n  Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n\n  Virgo\n  All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n  Expect a big surprise today\n  When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n\n  Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n  The relative position of the planets and the stars\n  Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n  That exclusively applies to only you\n\n  But, let me give you my assurance that\n  These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n  Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n  So you would have to be some kind of moron\n  Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n\n  Where was I?\n\n  Libra\n  A big promotion is just around\n  The corner for someone much more talented than you\n  Laughter is the very best medicine\n  Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n\n  Scorpio, get ready for an\n  Unexpected trip\n  When you fall screaming from an open window\n  Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n\n  Sagittarius\n  All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n  Take down all those naked pictures of\n  Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n\n  Capricorn\n  The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n  But, you know they're lying\n  If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n  And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n"},{"id":36921924,"name":"Your Horoscope for Today","trackName":"Your Horoscope for Today","artistName":"\"Weird Al\" Yankovic","albumName":"The Essential “Weird Al” Yankovic","duration":240.0,"instrumental":false,"hasWordSync":false,"plainLyrics":"Aquarius\nThere's travel in your future\nWhen your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\nFill that void in your pathetic life\nBy playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n\nPisces\nTry to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\nYou are the true Lord of the dance\nNo matter what those idiots at work say\n\nAries\nThe look on your face will be priceless\nWhen you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\nTrade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n\nTaurus\nYou will never find true happiness\nWhat you gonna do, cry about it?\nThe stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\nDo a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n\nGemini\nYour birthday party will be ruined\nOnce again by your explosive flatulence\nYour love life will run into trouble\nWhen your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n\nCancer, the position of Jupiter says that\nYou should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\nTry not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n\nLeo\nNow is not a good time to photocopy your butt\nAnd staple it to your bosses face, oh no\nEat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\nThen wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n\nVirgo\nAll Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\nExpect a big surprise today\nWhen you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\n\nNow you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\nThe relative position of the planets and the stars\nCould have a special deep significance or meaning\nThat exclusively applies to only you\n\nBut, let me give you my assurance that\nThese forecasts and predictions are all based on\nSolid, scientific, documented evidence\nSo you would have to be some kind of moron\nNot to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n\nWhere was I?\n\nLibra\nA big promotion is just around\nThe corner for someone much more talented than you\nLaughter is the very best medicine\nRemember that when your appendix bursts next week\n\nScorpio, get ready for an\nUnexpected trip\nWhen you fall screaming from an open window\nWork a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n\nSagittarius\nAll your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\nTake down all those naked pictures of\nErnest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n\nCapricorn\nThe stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\nBut, you know they're lying\nIf I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\nAnd never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\nThat's your horoscope for today","syncedLyrics":"[00:10.94] Aquarius\n[00:12.19] There's travel in your future\n[00:13.34] When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n[00:17.38] Fill that void in your pathetic life\n[00:19.54] By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n[00:22.24] Pisces\n[00:22.99] Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n[00:27.50] You are the true Lord of the dance\n[00:30.35] No matter what those idiots at work say\n[00:32.24] Aries\n[00:32.71] The look on your face will be priceless\n[00:34.54] When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n[00:38.46] Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n[00:42.55] Taurus\n[00:42.95] You will never find true happiness\n[00:45.30] What you gonna do, cry about it?\n[00:48.07] The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n[00:50.41] Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n[00:53.39] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[00:58.76] That's your horoscope for today\n[01:03.88] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[01:08.97] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[01:12.62] Gemini\n[01:14.03] Your birthday party will be ruined\n[01:16.08] Once again by your explosive flatulence\n[01:18.76] Your love life will run into trouble\n[01:20.94] When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n[01:23.86] Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n[01:26.01] You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n[01:29.66] Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n[01:34.18] Leo\n[01:34.56] Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n[01:37.05] And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n[01:39.63] Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n[01:41.54] Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n[01:44.80] Virgo\n[01:45.38] All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n[01:49.94] Expect a big surprise today\n[01:52.39] When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n[01:55.23] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[02:00.38] That's your horoscope for today\n[02:05.61] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[02:10.77] That's your horoscope for today\n[02:13.96] Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n[02:18.97] The relative position of the planets and the stars\n[02:21.32] Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n[02:23.46] That exclusively applies to only you\n[02:25.14] But, let me give you my assurance that\n[02:26.73] These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n[02:28.44] Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n[02:30.60] So you would have to be some kind of moron\n[02:32.30] Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n[02:35.42] Where was I?\n[02:36.02] Libra\n[02:36.43] A big promotion is just around\n[02:38.39] The corner for someone much more talented than you\n[02:41.39] Laughter is the very best medicine\n[02:43.47] Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n[02:46.35] Scorpio, get ready for an\n[02:47.51] Unexpected trip\n[02:48.93] When you fall screaming from an open window\n[02:51.54] Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n[02:56.46] Sagittarius\n[02:57.29] All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n[03:01.99] Take down all those naked pictures of\n[03:04.00] Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n[03:06.89] Capricorn\n[03:07.56] The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n[03:11.15] But, you know they're lying\n[03:12.40] If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n[03:14.29] And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n[03:17.43] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:22.80] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:27.96] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:33.19] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:38.37] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:43.59] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:48.64] That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n[03:53.60] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:57.11] ","lyricsfile":"version: '1.0'\nmetadata:\n  title: Your Horoscope for Today\n  artist: '\"Weird Al\" Yankovic'\n  album: The Essential “Weird Al” Yankovic\n  duration_ms: 240000\n  instrumental: false\nlines:\n- text: Aquarius\n  start_ms: 10940\n  end_ms: 12190\n- text: There's travel in your future\n  start_ms: 12190\n  end_ms: 13340\n- text: When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n  start_ms: 13340\n  end_ms: 17380\n- text: Fill that void in your pathetic life\n  start_ms: 17380\n  end_ms: 19540\n- text: By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n  start_ms: 19540\n  end_ms: 22240\n- text: Pisces\n  start_ms: 22240\n  end_ms: 22990\n- text: Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n  start_ms: 22990\n  end_ms: 27500\n- text: You are the true Lord of the dance\n  start_ms: 27500\n  end_ms: 30350\n- text: No matter what those idiots at work say\n  start_ms: 30350\n  end_ms: 32240\n- text: Aries\n  start_ms: 32240\n  end_ms: 32710\n- text: The look on your face will be priceless\n  start_ms: 32710\n  end_ms: 34540\n- text: When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n  start_ms: 34540\n  end_ms: 38460\n- text: Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n  start_ms: 38460\n  end_ms: 42550\n- text: Taurus\n  start_ms: 42550\n  end_ms: 42950\n- text: You will never find true happiness\n  start_ms: 42950\n  end_ms: 45300\n- text: What you gonna do, cry about it?\n  start_ms: 45300\n  end_ms: 48070\n- text: The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n  start_ms: 48070\n  end_ms: 50410\n- text: Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n  start_ms: 50410\n  end_ms: 53390\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 53390\n  end_ms: 58760\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 58760\n  end_ms: 63880\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 63880\n  end_ms: 68970\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 68970\n  end_ms: 72620\n- text: Gemini\n  start_ms: 72620\n  end_ms: 74030\n- text: Your birthday party will be ruined\n  start_ms: 74030\n  end_ms: 76080\n- text: Once again by your explosive flatulence\n  start_ms: 76080\n  end_ms: 78760\n- text: Your love life will run into trouble\n  start_ms: 78760\n  end_ms: 80940\n- text: When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n  start_ms: 80940\n  end_ms: 83860\n- text: Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n  start_ms: 83860\n  end_ms: 86010\n- text: You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n  start_ms: 86010\n  end_ms: 89660\n- text: Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n  start_ms: 89660\n  end_ms: 94180\n- text: Leo\n  start_ms: 94180\n  end_ms: 94560\n- text: Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n  start_ms: 94560\n  end_ms: 97050\n- text: And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n  start_ms: 97050\n  end_ms: 99630\n- text: Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n  start_ms: 99630\n  end_ms: 101540\n- text: Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n  start_ms: 101540\n  end_ms: 104800\n- text: Virgo\n  start_ms: 104800\n  end_ms: 105380\n- text: All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n  start_ms: 105380\n  end_ms: 109940\n- text: Expect a big surprise today\n  start_ms: 109940\n  end_ms: 112390\n- text: When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n  start_ms: 112390\n  end_ms: 115230\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 115230\n  end_ms: 120380\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 120380\n  end_ms: 125610\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 125610\n  end_ms: 130770\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 130770\n  end_ms: 133960\n- text: Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n  start_ms: 133960\n  end_ms: 138970\n- text: The relative position of the planets and the stars\n  start_ms: 138970\n  end_ms: 141320\n- text: Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n  start_ms: 141320\n  end_ms: 143460\n- text: That exclusively applies to only you\n  start_ms: 143460\n  end_ms: 145140\n- text: But, let me give you my assurance that\n  start_ms: 145140\n  end_ms: 146730\n- text: These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n  start_ms: 146730\n  end_ms: 148440\n- text: Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n  start_ms: 148440\n  end_ms: 150600\n- text: So you would have to be some kind of moron\n  start_ms: 150600\n  end_ms: 152300\n- text: Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n  start_ms: 152300\n  end_ms: 155420\n- text: Where was I?\n  start_ms: 155420\n  end_ms: 156020\n- text: Libra\n  start_ms: 156020\n  end_ms: 156430\n- text: A big promotion is just around\n  start_ms: 156430\n  end_ms: 158390\n- text: The corner for someone much more talented than you\n  start_ms: 158390\n  end_ms: 161390\n- text: Laughter is the very best medicine\n  start_ms: 161390\n  end_ms: 163470\n- text: Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n  start_ms: 163470\n  end_ms: 166350\n- text: Scorpio, get ready for an\n  start_ms: 166350\n  end_ms: 167510\n- text: Unexpected trip\n  start_ms: 167510\n  end_ms: 168930\n- text: When you fall screaming from an open window\n  start_ms: 168930\n  end_ms: 171540\n- text: Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n  start_ms: 171540\n  end_ms: 176460\n- text: Sagittarius\n  start_ms: 176460\n  end_ms: 177290\n- text: All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n  start_ms: 177290\n  end_ms: 181990\n- text: Take down all those naked pictures of\n  start_ms: 181990\n  end_ms: 184000\n- text: Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n  start_ms: 184000\n  end_ms: 186890\n- text: Capricorn\n  start_ms: 186890\n  end_ms: 187560\n- text: The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n  start_ms: 187560\n  end_ms: 191150\n- text: But, you know they're lying\n  start_ms: 191150\n  end_ms: 192400\n- text: If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n  start_ms: 192400\n  end_ms: 194290\n- text: And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n  start_ms: 194290\n  end_ms: 197430\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 197430\n  end_ms: 202800\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 202800\n  end_ms: 207960\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 207960\n  end_ms: 213190\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 213190\n  end_ms: 218370\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 218370\n  end_ms: 223590\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 223590\n  end_ms: 228640\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n  start_ms: 228640\n  end_ms: 233600\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 233600\n  end_ms: 237110\n- text: ''\n  start_ms: 237110\nplain: |-\n  Aquarius\n  There's travel in your future\n  When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n  Fill that void in your pathetic life\n  By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n\n  Pisces\n  Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n  You are the true Lord of the dance\n  No matter what those idiots at work say\n\n  Aries\n  The look on your face will be priceless\n  When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n  Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n\n  Taurus\n  You will never find true happiness\n  What you gonna do, cry about it?\n  The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n  Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n\n  Gemini\n  Your birthday party will be ruined\n  Once again by your explosive flatulence\n  Your love life will run into trouble\n  When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n\n  Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n  You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n  Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n\n  Leo\n  Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n  And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n  Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n  Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n\n  Virgo\n  All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n  Expect a big surprise today\n  When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n\n  Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n  The relative position of the planets and the stars\n  Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n  That exclusively applies to only you\n\n  But, let me give you my assurance that\n  These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n  Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n  So you would have to be some kind of moron\n  Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n\n  Where was I?\n\n  Libra\n  A big promotion is just around\n  The corner for someone much more talented than you\n  Laughter is the very best medicine\n  Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n\n  Scorpio, get ready for an\n  Unexpected trip\n  When you fall screaming from an open window\n  Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n\n  Sagittarius\n  All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n  Take down all those naked pictures of\n  Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n\n  Capricorn\n  The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n  But, you know they're lying\n  If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n  And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n"},{"id":38354447,"name":"Your Horoscope For Today","trackName":"Your Horoscope For Today","artistName":"″Weird Al″ Yankovic","albumName":"The Essential ″Weird Al″ Yankovic","duration":241.0,"instrumental":false,"hasWordSync":false,"plainLyrics":"Aquarius\nThere's travel in your future\nWhen your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\nFill that void in your pathetic life\nBy playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n\nPisces\nTry to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\nYou are the true Lord of the dance\nNo matter what those idiots at work say\n\nAries\nThe look on your face will be priceless\nWhen you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\nTrade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n\nTaurus\nYou will never find true happiness\nWhat you gonna do, cry about it?\nThe stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\nDo a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n\nGemini\nYour birthday party will be ruined\nOnce again by your explosive flatulence\nYour love life will run into trouble\nWhen your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n\nCancer, the position of Jupiter says that\nYou should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\nTry not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n\nLeo\nNow is not a good time to photocopy your butt\nAnd staple it to your bosses face, oh no\nEat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\nThen wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n\nVirgo\nAll Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\nExpect a big surprise today\nWhen you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\n\nNow you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\nThe relative position of the planets and the stars\nCould have a special deep significance or meaning\nThat exclusively applies to only you\n\nBut, let me give you my assurance that\nThese forecasts and predictions are all based on\nSolid, scientific, documented evidence\nSo you would have to be some kind of moron\nNot to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n\nWhere was I?\n\nLibra\nA big promotion is just around\nThe corner for someone much more talented than you\nLaughter is the very best medicine\nRemember that when your appendix bursts next week\n\nScorpio, get ready for an\nUnexpected trip\nWhen you fall screaming from an open window\nWork a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n\nSagittarius\nAll your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\nTake down all those naked pictures of\nErnest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n\nCapricorn\nThe stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\nBut, you know they're lying\nIf I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\nAnd never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\nThat's your horoscope for today","syncedLyrics":"[00:11.76]Aquarius\n[00:12.47]There's travel in your future\n[00:13.76]When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n[00:17.72]Fill that void in your pathetic life\n[00:19.82]By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n[00:22.55]Pisces\n[00:22.94]Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n[00:27.68]You are the true Lord of the dance\n[00:30.45]No matter what those idiots at work say\n[00:32.69]Aries\n[00:33.02]The look on your face will be priceless\n[00:34.88]When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n[00:38.43]Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n[00:42.78]Taurus\n[00:43.15]You will never find true happiness\n[00:45.73]What you gonna do, cry about it?\n[00:48.27]The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n[00:50.77]Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n[00:53.75]That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[00:58.86]That's your horoscope for today\n[01:04.06]That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[01:09.15]That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[01:12.66]Gemini\n[01:14.22]Your birthday party will be ruined\n[01:16.19]Once again by your explosive flatulence\n[01:19.34]Your love life will run into trouble\n[01:21.05]When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n[01:23.94]Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n[01:26.28]You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n[01:29.73]Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n[01:34.32]Leo\n[01:34.64]Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n[01:37.00]And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n[01:39.88]Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n[01:41.77]Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n[01:45.72]Virgo\n[01:46.13]All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n[01:50.22]Expect a big surprise today\n[01:52.41]When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n[01:55.59]That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[02:00.61]That's your horoscope for today\n[02:05.83]That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[02:10.98]That's your horoscope for today\n[02:13.95]Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n[02:19.13]The relative position of the planets and the stars\n[02:21.43]Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n[02:23.48]That exclusively applies to only you\n[02:25.39]But, let me give you my assurance that\n[02:26.90]These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n[02:28.63]Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n[02:30.76]So you would have to be some kind of moron\n[02:32.46]Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n[02:35.69]Where was I?\n[02:36.12]Libra\n[02:36.58]A big promotion is just around\n[02:38.58]The corner for someone much more talented than you\n[02:41.86]Laughter is the very best medicine\n[02:43.63]Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n[02:46.33]Scorpio, get ready for an\n[02:47.74]Unexpected trip\n[02:49.17]When you fall screaming from an open window\n[02:51.85]Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n[02:56.79]Sagittarius\n[02:57.48]All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n[03:02.13]Take down all those naked pictures of\n[03:04.26]Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n[03:06.90]Capricorn\n[03:07.87]The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n[03:11.38]But, you know they're lying\n[03:12.61]If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n[03:14.47]And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n[03:17.90]That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:23.05]That's your horoscope for today\n[03:28.24]That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:33.35]That's your horoscope for today\n[03:38.57]That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:43.67]That's your horoscope for today\n[03:48.84]That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n[03:53.97]That's your horoscope for today\n[03:57.15]","lyricsfile":"version: '1.0'\nmetadata:\n  title: Your Horoscope For Today\n  artist: ″Weird Al″ Yankovic\n  album: The Essential ″Weird Al″ Yankovic\n  duration_ms: 241000\n  instrumental: false\nlines:\n- text: Aquarius\n  start_ms: 11760\n  end_ms: 12470\n- text: There's travel in your future\n  start_ms: 12470\n  end_ms: 13760\n- text: When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n  start_ms: 13760\n  end_ms: 17720\n- text: Fill that void in your pathetic life\n  start_ms: 17720\n  end_ms: 19820\n- text: By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n  start_ms: 19820\n  end_ms: 22550\n- text: Pisces\n  start_ms: 22550\n  end_ms: 22940\n- text: Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n  start_ms: 22940\n  end_ms: 27680\n- text: You are the true Lord of the dance\n  start_ms: 27680\n  end_ms: 30450\n- text: No matter what those idiots at work say\n  start_ms: 30450\n  end_ms: 32690\n- text: Aries\n  start_ms: 32690\n  end_ms: 33020\n- text: The look on your face will be priceless\n  start_ms: 33020\n  end_ms: 34880\n- text: When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n  start_ms: 34880\n  end_ms: 38430\n- text: Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n  start_ms: 38430\n  end_ms: 42780\n- text: Taurus\n  start_ms: 42780\n  end_ms: 43150\n- text: You will never find true happiness\n  start_ms: 43150\n  end_ms: 45730\n- text: What you gonna do, cry about it?\n  start_ms: 45730\n  end_ms: 48270\n- text: The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n  start_ms: 48270\n  end_ms: 50770\n- text: Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n  start_ms: 50770\n  end_ms: 53750\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 53750\n  end_ms: 58860\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 58860\n  end_ms: 64060\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 64060\n  end_ms: 69150\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 69150\n  end_ms: 72660\n- text: Gemini\n  start_ms: 72660\n  end_ms: 74220\n- text: Your birthday party will be ruined\n  start_ms: 74220\n  end_ms: 76190\n- text: Once again by your explosive flatulence\n  start_ms: 76190\n  end_ms: 79340\n- text: Your love life will run into trouble\n  start_ms: 79340\n  end_ms: 81050\n- text: When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n  start_ms: 81050\n  end_ms: 83940\n- text: Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n  start_ms: 83940\n  end_ms: 86280\n- text: You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n  start_ms: 86280\n  end_ms: 89730\n- text: Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n  start_ms: 89730\n  end_ms: 94320\n- text: Leo\n  start_ms: 94320\n  end_ms: 94640\n- text: Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n  start_ms: 94640\n  end_ms: 97000\n- text: And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n  start_ms: 97000\n  end_ms: 99880\n- text: Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n  start_ms: 99880\n  end_ms: 101770\n- text: Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n  start_ms: 101770\n  end_ms: 105720\n- text: Virgo\n  start_ms: 105720\n  end_ms: 106130\n- text: All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n  start_ms: 106130\n  end_ms: 110220\n- text: Expect a big surprise today\n  start_ms: 110220\n  end_ms: 112410\n- text: When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n  start_ms: 112410\n  end_ms: 115590\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 115590\n  end_ms: 120610\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 120610\n  end_ms: 125830\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 125830\n  end_ms: 130980\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 130980\n  end_ms: 133950\n- text: Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n  start_ms: 133950\n  end_ms: 139130\n- text: The relative position of the planets and the stars\n  start_ms: 139130\n  end_ms: 141430\n- text: Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n  start_ms: 141430\n  end_ms: 143480\n- text: That exclusively applies to only you\n  start_ms: 143480\n  end_ms: 145390\n- text: But, let me give you my assurance that\n  start_ms: 145390\n  end_ms: 146900\n- text: These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n  start_ms: 146900\n  end_ms: 148630\n- text: Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n  start_ms: 148630\n  end_ms: 150760\n- text: So you would have to be some kind of moron\n  start_ms: 150760\n  end_ms: 152460\n- text: Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n  start_ms: 152460\n  end_ms: 155690\n- text: Where was I?\n  start_ms: 155690\n  end_ms: 156120\n- text: Libra\n  start_ms: 156120\n  end_ms: 156580\n- text: A big promotion is just around\n  start_ms: 156580\n  end_ms: 158580\n- text: The corner for someone much more talented than you\n  start_ms: 158580\n  end_ms: 161860\n- text: Laughter is the very best medicine\n  start_ms: 161860\n  end_ms: 163630\n- text: Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n  start_ms: 163630\n  end_ms: 166330\n- text: Scorpio, get ready for an\n  start_ms: 166330\n  end_ms: 167740\n- text: Unexpected trip\n  start_ms: 167740\n  end_ms: 169170\n- text: When you fall screaming from an open window\n  start_ms: 169170\n  end_ms: 171850\n- text: Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n  start_ms: 171850\n  end_ms: 176790\n- text: Sagittarius\n  start_ms: 176790\n  end_ms: 177480\n- text: All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n  start_ms: 177480\n  end_ms: 182130\n- text: Take down all those naked pictures of\n  start_ms: 182130\n  end_ms: 184260\n- text: Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n  start_ms: 184260\n  end_ms: 186900\n- text: Capricorn\n  start_ms: 186900\n  end_ms: 187870\n- text: The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n  start_ms: 187870\n  end_ms: 191380\n- text: But, you know they're lying\n  start_ms: 191380\n  end_ms: 192610\n- text: If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n  start_ms: 192610\n  end_ms: 194470\n- text: And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n  start_ms: 194470\n  end_ms: 197900\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 197900\n  end_ms: 203050\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 203050\n  end_ms: 208240\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 208240\n  end_ms: 213350\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 213350\n  end_ms: 218570\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 218570\n  end_ms: 223670\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 223670\n  end_ms: 228840\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n  start_ms: 228840\n  end_ms: 233970\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 233970\n  end_ms: 237150\n- text: ''\n  start_ms: 237150\nplain: |-\n  Aquarius\n  There's travel in your future\n  When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n  Fill that void in your pathetic life\n  By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n\n  Pisces\n  Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n  You are the true Lord of the dance\n  No matter what those idiots at work say\n\n  Aries\n  The look on your face will be priceless\n  When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n  Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n\n  Taurus\n  You will never find true happiness\n  What you gonna do, cry about it?\n  The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n  Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n\n  Gemini\n  Your birthday party will be ruined\n  Once again by your explosive flatulence\n  Your love life will run into trouble\n  When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n\n  Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n  You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n  Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n\n  Leo\n  Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n  And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n  Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n  Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n\n  Virgo\n  All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n  Expect a big surprise today\n  When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n\n  Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n  The relative position of the planets and the stars\n  Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n  That exclusively applies to only you\n\n  But, let me give you my assurance that\n  These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n  Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n  So you would have to be some kind of moron\n  Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n\n  Where was I?\n\n  Libra\n  A big promotion is just around\n  The corner for someone much more talented than you\n  Laughter is the very best medicine\n  Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n\n  Scorpio, get ready for an\n  Unexpected trip\n  When you fall screaming from an open window\n  Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n\n  Sagittarius\n  All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n  Take down all those naked pictures of\n  Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n\n  Capricorn\n  The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n  But, you know they're lying\n  If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n  And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n"},{"id":25645339,"name":"26 Your Horoscope for Today","trackName":"26 Your Horoscope for Today","artistName":"\"Weird Al\" Yankovic","albumName":"The Essential Weird Al Yankovic","duration":240.796735,"instrumental":false,"hasWordSync":false,"plainLyrics":"Aquarius\nThere's travel in your future\nWhen your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\nFill that void in your pathetic life\nBy playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n\nPisces\nTry to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\nYou are the true Lord of the dance\nNo matter what those idiots at work say\n\nAries\nThe look on your face will be priceless\nWhen you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\nTrade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n\nTaurus\nYou will never find true happiness\nWhat you gonna do, cry about it?\nThe stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\nDo a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n\nGemini\nYour birthday party will be ruined\nOnce again by your explosive flatulence\nYour love life will run into trouble\nWhen your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n\nCancer, the position of Jupiter says that\nYou should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\nTry not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n\nLeo\nNow is not a good time to photocopy your butt\nAnd staple it to your bosses face, oh no\nEat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\nThen wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n\nVirgo\nAll Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\nExpect a big surprise today\nWhen you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\n\nNow you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\nThe relative position of the planets and the stars\nCould have a special deep significance or meaning\nThat exclusively applies to only you\n\nBut, let me give you my assurance that\nThese forecasts and predictions are all based on\nSolid, scientific, documented evidence\nSo you would have to be some kind of moron\nNot to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n\nWhere was I?\n\nLibra\nA big promotion is just around\nThe corner for someone much more talented than you\nLaughter is the very best medicine\nRemember that when your appendix bursts next week\n\nScorpio, get ready for an\nUnexpected trip\nWhen you fall screaming from an open window\nWork a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n\nSagittarius\nAll your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\nTake down all those naked pictures of\nErnest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n\nCapricorn\nThe stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\nBut, you know they're lying\nIf I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\nAnd never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\nThat's your horoscope for today","syncedLyrics":null,"lyricsfile":"version: '1.0'\nmetadata:\n  title: 26 Your Horoscope for Today\n  artist: '\"Weird Al\" Yankovic'\n  album: The Essential Weird Al Yankovic\n  duration_ms: 240797\n  instrumental: false\nlines: []\nplain: |-\n  Aquarius\n  There's travel in your future\n  When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n  Fill that void in your pathetic life\n  By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n\n  Pisces\n  Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n  You are the true Lord of the dance\n  No matter what those idiots at work say\n\n  Aries\n  The look on your face will be priceless\n  When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n  Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n\n  Taurus\n  You will never find true happiness\n  What you gonna do, cry about it?\n  The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n  Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n\n  Gemini\n  Your birthday party will be ruined\n  Once again by your explosive flatulence\n  Your love life will run into trouble\n  When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n\n  Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n  You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n  Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n\n  Leo\n  Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n  And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n  Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n  Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n\n  Virgo\n  All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n  Expect a big surprise today\n  When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n\n  Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n  The relative position of the planets and the stars\n  Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n  That exclusively applies to only you\n\n  But, let me give you my assurance that\n  These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n  Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n  So you would have to be some kind of moron\n  Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n\n  Where was I?\n\n  Libra\n  A big promotion is just around\n  The corner for someone much more talented than you\n  Laughter is the very best medicine\n  Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n\n  Scorpio, get ready for an\n  Unexpected trip\n  When you fall screaming from an open window\n  Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n\n  Sagittarius\n  All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n  Take down all those naked pictures of\n  Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n\n  Capricorn\n  The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n  But, you know they're lying\n  If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n  And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n"},{"id":1165881,"name":"Your Horoscope for Today","trackName":"Your Horoscope for Today","artistName":"Weird Al Yankovic","albumName":"The Essential Weird Al Yankovic, Disc 2","duration":239.0,"instrumental":false,"hasWordSync":true,"plainLyrics":"Aquarius\nThere's travel in your future\nWhen your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\nFill that void in your pathetic life\nBy playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n\nPisces\nTry to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\nYou are the true Lord of the dance\nNo matter what those idiots at work say\n\nAries\nThe look on your face will be priceless\nWhen you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\nTrade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n\nTaurus\nYou will never find true happiness\nWhat you gonna do, cry about it?\nThe stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\nDo a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n\nGemini\nYour birthday party will be ruined\nOnce again by your explosive flatulence\nYour love life will run into trouble\nWhen your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n\nCancer, the position of Jupiter says that\nYou should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\nTry not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n\nLeo\nNow is not a good time to photocopy your butt\nAnd staple it to your bosses face, oh no\nEat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\nThen wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n\nVirgo\nAll Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\nExpect a big surprise today\nWhen you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\n\nNow you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\nThe relative position of the planets and the stars\nCould have a special deep significance or meaning\nThat exclusively applies to only you\n\nBut, let me give you my assurance that\nThese forecasts and predictions are all based on\nSolid, scientific, documented evidence\nSo you would have to be some kind of moron\nNot to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n\nWhere was I?\n\nLibra\nA big promotion is just around\nThe corner for someone much more talented than you\nLaughter is the very best medicine\nRemember that when your appendix bursts next week\n\nScorpio, get ready for an\nUnexpected trip\nWhen you fall screaming from an open window\nWork a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n\nSagittarius\nAll your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\nTake down all those naked pictures of\nErnest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n\nCapricorn\nThe stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\nBut, you know they're lying\nIf I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\nAnd never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\nThat's your horoscope for today","syncedLyrics":"[00:10.94] Aquarius\n[00:12.19] There's travel in your future\n[00:13.34] When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n[00:17.38] Fill that void in your pathetic life\n[00:19.54] By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n[00:22.24] Pisces\n[00:22.99] Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n[00:27.50] You are the true Lord of the dance\n[00:30.35] No matter what those idiots at work say\n[00:32.24] Aries\n[00:32.71] The look on your face will be priceless\n[00:34.54] When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n[00:38.46] Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n[00:42.55] Taurus\n[00:42.95] You will never find true happiness\n[00:45.30] What you gonna do, cry about it?\n[00:48.07] The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n[00:50.41] Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n[00:53.39] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[00:58.76] That's your horoscope for today\n[01:03.88] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[01:08.97] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[01:12.62] Gemini\n[01:14.03] Your birthday party will be ruined\n[01:16.08] Once again by your explosive flatulence\n[01:18.76] Your love life will run into trouble\n[01:20.94] When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n[01:23.86] Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n[01:26.01] You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n[01:29.66] Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n[01:34.18] Leo\n[01:34.56] Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n[01:37.05] And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n[01:39.63] Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n[01:41.54] Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n[01:44.80] Virgo\n[01:45.38] All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n[01:49.94] Expect a big surprise today\n[01:52.39] When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n[01:55.23] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[02:00.38] That's your horoscope for today\n[02:05.61] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[02:10.77] That's your horoscope for today\n[02:13.96] Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n[02:18.97] The relative position of the planets and the stars\n[02:21.32] Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n[02:23.46] That exclusively applies to only you\n[02:25.14] But, let me give you my assurance that\n[02:26.73] These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n[02:28.44] Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n[02:30.60] So you would have to be some kind of moron\n[02:32.30] Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n[02:35.42] Where was I?\n[02:36.02] Libra\n[02:36.43] A big promotion is just around\n[02:38.39] The corner for someone much more talented than you\n[02:41.39] Laughter is the very best medicine\n[02:43.47] Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n[02:46.35] Scorpio, get ready for an\n[02:47.51] Unexpected trip\n[02:48.93] When you fall screaming from an open window\n[02:51.54] Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n[02:56.46] Sagittarius\n[02:57.29] All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n[03:01.99] Take down all those naked pictures of\n[03:04.00] Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n[03:06.89] Capricorn\n[03:07.56] The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n[03:11.15] But, you know they're lying\n[03:12.40] If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n[03:14.29] And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n[03:17.43] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:22.80] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:27.96] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:33.19] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:38.37] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:43.59] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:48.64] That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n[03:53.60] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:57.11] ","lyricsfile":"version: '1.0'\nmetadata:\n  title: Your Horoscope for Today\n  artist: Weird Al Yankovic\n  album: The Essential Weird Al Yankovic, Disc 2\n  duration_ms: 239000\n  instrumental: false\n  language: en\nlines:\n- text: Aquarius\n  start_ms: 11710\n  end_ms: 12390\n  words:\n  - text: Aquarius\n    start_ms: 11710\n- text: There's travel in your future\n  start_ms: 12470\n  end_ms: 13700\n  words:\n  - text: 'There''s '\n    start_ms: 12470\n  - text: 'travel '\n    start_ms: 12673\n  - text: 'in '\n    start_ms: 13025\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 13173\n  - text: future\n    start_ms: 13284\n- text: When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n  start_ms: 13700\n  end_ms: 17680\n  words:\n  - text: 'When '\n    start_ms: 13700\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 14100\n  - text: 'tongue '\n    start_ms: 14380\n  - text: 'freezes '\n    start_ms: 15000\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 15520\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 15680\n  - text: 'back '\n    start_ms: 15820\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 16060\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 16180\n  - text: 'speeding '\n    start_ms: 16320\n  - text: bus\n    start_ms: 16940\n- text: Fill that void in your pathetic life\n  start_ms: 17750\n  end_ms: 19840\n  words:\n  - text: 'Fill '\n    start_ms: 17750\n  - text: 'that '\n    start_ms: 18030\n  - text: 'void '\n    start_ms: 18330\n  - text: 'in '\n    start_ms: 18690\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 18810\n  - text: 'pathetic '\n    start_ms: 18950\n  - text: life\n    start_ms: 19610\n- text: By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n  start_ms: 19840\n  end_ms: 22550\n  words:\n  - text: 'By '\n    start_ms: 19840\n  - text: 'playing '\n    start_ms: 20059\n  - text: whack-\n    start_ms: 20418\n  - text: a-\n    start_ms: 20617\n  - text: 'mole '\n    start_ms: 20737\n  - text: '17 '\n    start_ms: 21016\n  - text: 'hours '\n    start_ms: 21574\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 21892\n  - text: day\n    start_ms: 22171\n- text: Pisces\n  start_ms: 22550\n  end_ms: 22910\n  words:\n  - text: Pisces\n    start_ms: 22550\n- text: Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n  start_ms: 22970\n  end_ms: 27650\n  words:\n  - text: 'Try '\n    start_ms: 22970\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 23370\n  - text: 'avoid '\n    start_ms: 23570\n  - text: 'any '\n    start_ms: 24050\n  - text: 'Virgos '\n    start_ms: 24290\n  - text: 'or '\n    start_ms: 24670\n  - text: 'Leos '\n    start_ms: 24830\n  - text: 'with '\n    start_ms: 25790\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 25950\n  - text: 'ebola '\n    start_ms: 26130\n  - text: virus\n    start_ms: 26730\n- text: You are the true Lord of the dance\n  start_ms: 27670\n  end_ms: 30440\n  words:\n  - text: 'You '\n    start_ms: 27670\n  - text: 'are '\n    start_ms: 28086\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 28382\n  - text: 'true '\n    start_ms: 28640\n  - text: 'Lord '\n    start_ms: 29312\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 29688\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 29807\n  - text: dance\n    start_ms: 29965\n- text: No matter what those idiots at work say\n  start_ms: 30440\n  end_ms: 32670\n  words:\n  - text: 'No '\n    start_ms: 30440\n  - text: 'matter '\n    start_ms: 30756\n  - text: 'what '\n    start_ms: 31052\n  - text: 'those '\n    start_ms: 31210\n  - text: 'idiots '\n    start_ms: 31427\n  - text: 'at '\n    start_ms: 31881\n  - text: 'work '\n    start_ms: 32019\n  - text: say\n    start_ms: 32295\n- text: Aries\n  start_ms: 32670\n  end_ms: 33060\n  words:\n  - text: Aries\n    start_ms: 32670\n- text: The look on your face will be priceless\n  start_ms: 33070\n  end_ms: 34840\n  words:\n  - text: 'The '\n    start_ms: 33070\n  - text: 'look '\n    start_ms: 33270\n  - text: 'on '\n    start_ms: 33490\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 33630\n  - text: 'face '\n    start_ms: 33770\n  - text: 'will '\n    start_ms: 34090\n  - text: 'be '\n    start_ms: 34250\n  - text: priceless\n    start_ms: 34390\n- text: When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n  start_ms: 34880\n  end_ms: 38430\n  words:\n  - text: 'When '\n    start_ms: 34880\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 35115\n  - text: 'find '\n    start_ms: 35253\n  - text: 'that '\n    start_ms: 35606\n  - text: '40 '\n    start_ms: 35998\n  - text: 'pound '\n    start_ms: 36194\n  - text: 'watermelon '\n    start_ms: 36508\n  - text: 'in '\n    start_ms: 37489\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 37626\n  - text: colon\n    start_ms: 37763\n- text: Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n  start_ms: 38430\n  end_ms: 42720\n  words:\n  - text: 'Trade '\n    start_ms: 38430\n  - text: 'toothbrushes '\n    start_ms: 38910\n  - text: 'with '\n    start_ms: 39730\n  - text: 'an '\n    start_ms: 39890\n  - text: 'albino '\n    start_ms: 40070\n  - text: 'dwarf, '\n    start_ms: 40790\n  - text: 'then '\n    start_ms: 41150\n  - text: 'give '\n    start_ms: 41330\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 41530\n  - text: 'hickey '\n    start_ms: 41610\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 41970\n  - text: 'Meryl '\n    start_ms: 42110\n  - text: Streep\n    start_ms: 42410\n- text: Taurus\n  start_ms: 42730\n  end_ms: 43120\n  words:\n  - text: Taurus\n    start_ms: 42730\n- text: You will never find true happiness\n  start_ms: 43180\n  end_ms: 45740\n  words:\n  - text: 'You '\n    start_ms: 43180\n  - text: 'will '\n    start_ms: 43460\n  - text: 'never '\n    start_ms: 43620\n  - text: 'find '\n    start_ms: 44120\n  - text: 'true '\n    start_ms: 44420\n  - text: happiness\n    start_ms: 44760\n- text: What you gonna do, cry about it?\n  start_ms: 45760\n  end_ms: 48220\n  words:\n  - text: 'What '\n    start_ms: 45760\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 46068\n  - text: 'gonna '\n    start_ms: 46221\n  - text: 'do, '\n    start_ms: 46548\n  - text: 'cry '\n    start_ms: 46817\n  - text: 'about '\n    start_ms: 47240\n  - text: it?\n    start_ms: 47682\n- text: The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n  start_ms: 48220\n  end_ms: 50670\n  words:\n  - text: 'The '\n    start_ms: 48220\n  - text: 'stars '\n    start_ms: 48500\n  - text: 'predict '\n    start_ms: 48880\n  - text: 'tomorrow '\n    start_ms: 49520\n  - text: 'you''ll '\n    start_ms: 49980\n  - text: 'wake '\n    start_ms: 50200\n  - text: up\n    start_ms: 50520\n- text: Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n  start_ms: 50770\n  end_ms: 53720\n  words:\n  - text: 'Do '\n    start_ms: 50770\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 51078\n  - text: 'bunch '\n    start_ms: 51194\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 51541\n  - text: 'stuff '\n    start_ms: 51792\n  - text: 'and '\n    start_ms: 52139\n  - text: 'then '\n    start_ms: 52447\n  - text: 'go '\n    start_ms: 52737\n  - text: 'back '\n    start_ms: 52891\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 53045\n  - text: sleep\n    start_ms: 53180\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 53720\n  end_ms: 58780\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 53720\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 54200\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 54320\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 55100\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 55420\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 55600\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 55980\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 56180\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 56420\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 56760\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 58860\n  end_ms: 64000\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 58860\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 59408\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 59526\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 60289\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 60642\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 64000\n  end_ms: 69030\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 64000\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 64460\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 64600\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 65380\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 65700\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 65880\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 66165\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 66455\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 66680\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 67040\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 69170\n  end_ms: 72630\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 69170\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 69758\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 69895\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 70640\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 70954\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 71562\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 71914\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 72091\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 72297\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 72405\n- text: Gemini\n  start_ms: 72630\n  end_ms: 74210\n  words:\n  - text: Gemini\n    start_ms: 72630\n- text: Your birthday party will be ruined\n  start_ms: 74260\n  end_ms: 76150\n  words:\n  - text: 'Your '\n    start_ms: 74260\n  - text: 'birthday '\n    start_ms: 74540\n  - text: 'party '\n    start_ms: 75040\n  - text: 'will '\n    start_ms: 75520\n  - text: 'be '\n    start_ms: 75680\n  - text: ruined\n    start_ms: 75860\n- text: Once again by your explosive flatulence\n  start_ms: 76160\n  end_ms: 79310\n  words:\n  - text: 'Once '\n    start_ms: 76160\n  - text: 'again '\n    start_ms: 76701\n  - text: 'by '\n    start_ms: 77242\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 77416\n  - text: 'explosive '\n    start_ms: 77532\n  - text: flatulence\n    start_ms: 78150\n- text: Your love life will run into trouble\n  start_ms: 79310\n  end_ms: 81000\n  words:\n  - text: 'Your '\n    start_ms: 79310\n  - text: 'love '\n    start_ms: 79550\n  - text: 'life '\n    start_ms: 79750\n  - text: 'will '\n    start_ms: 79910\n  - text: 'run '\n    start_ms: 80090\n  - text: 'into '\n    start_ms: 80430\n  - text: trouble\n    start_ms: 80670\n- text: When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n  start_ms: 81090\n  end_ms: 83930\n  words:\n  - text: 'When '\n    start_ms: 81090\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 81444\n  - text: 'fiancé '\n    start_ms: 81601\n  - text: 'hurls '\n    start_ms: 82368\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 82721\n  - text: 'javelin '\n    start_ms: 82839\n  - text: 'through '\n    start_ms: 83291\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 83488\n  - text: chest\n    start_ms: 83645\n- text: Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n  start_ms: 83930\n  end_ms: 86190\n  words:\n  - text: 'Cancer, '\n    start_ms: 83930\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 84410\n  - text: 'position '\n    start_ms: 84570\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 85110\n  - text: 'Jupiter '\n    start_ms: 85250\n  - text: 'says '\n    start_ms: 85850\n  - text: that\n    start_ms: 86170\n- text: You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n  start_ms: 86220\n  end_ms: 89770\n  words:\n  - text: 'You '\n    start_ms: 86220\n  - text: 'should '\n    start_ms: 86499\n  - text: 'spend '\n    start_ms: 86699\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 87038\n  - text: 'rest '\n    start_ms: 87217\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 87556\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 87676\n  - text: 'week '\n    start_ms: 87855\n  - text: 'face '\n    start_ms: 88155\n  - text: 'down '\n    start_ms: 88494\n  - text: 'in '\n    start_ms: 88853\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 88972\n  - text: mud\n    start_ms: 89132\n- text: Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n  start_ms: 89770\n  end_ms: 94320\n  words:\n  - text: 'Try '\n    start_ms: 89770\n  - text: 'not '\n    start_ms: 90090\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 90250\n  - text: 'shove '\n    start_ms: 90390\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 90850\n  - text: 'roll '\n    start_ms: 91070\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 91490\n  - text: 'duct '\n    start_ms: 91710\n  - text: 'tape '\n    start_ms: 91990\n  - text: 'up '\n    start_ms: 92230\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 92370\n  - text: 'nose '\n    start_ms: 92510\n  - text: 'while '\n    start_ms: 92810\n  - text: 'taking '\n    start_ms: 93010\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 93490\n  - text: 'driver''s '\n    start_ms: 93610\n  - text: test\n    start_ms: 94110\n- text: Leo\n  start_ms: 94320\n  end_ms: 94630\n  words:\n  - text: Leo\n    start_ms: 94320\n- text: Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n  start_ms: 94630\n  end_ms: 96970\n  words:\n  - text: 'Now '\n    start_ms: 94630\n  - text: 'is '\n    start_ms: 94890\n  - text: 'not '\n    start_ms: 95010\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 95230\n  - text: 'good '\n    start_ms: 95310\n  - text: 'time '\n    start_ms: 95510\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 95810\n  - text: 'photocopy '\n    start_ms: 95950\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 96630\n  - text: butt\n    start_ms: 96810\n- text: And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n  start_ms: 97040\n  end_ms: 99830\n  words:\n  - text: 'And '\n    start_ms: 97040\n  - text: 'staple '\n    start_ms: 97300\n  - text: 'it '\n    start_ms: 97700\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 97820\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 97980\n  - text: 'bosses '\n    start_ms: 98140\n  - text: 'face, '\n    start_ms: 98780\n  - text: 'oh '\n    start_ms: 99140\n  - text: no\n    start_ms: 99420\n- text: Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n  start_ms: 99830\n  end_ms: 101780\n  words:\n  - text: 'Eat '\n    start_ms: 99830\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 100130\n  - text: 'bucket '\n    start_ms: 100250\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 100590\n  - text: tuna-\n    start_ms: 100710\n  - text: 'flavored '\n    start_ms: 101170\n  - text: pudding\n    start_ms: 101530\n- text: Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n  start_ms: 101790\n  end_ms: 105790\n  words:\n  - text: 'Then '\n    start_ms: 101790\n  - text: 'wash '\n    start_ms: 102049\n  - text: 'it '\n    start_ms: 102427\n  - text: 'down '\n    start_ms: 102646\n  - text: 'with '\n    start_ms: 103004\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 103143\n  - text: 'gallon '\n    start_ms: 103283\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 103700\n  - text: 'Strawberry '\n    start_ms: 103899\n  - text: Quik\n    start_ms: 104556\n- text: Virgo\n  start_ms: 105790\n  end_ms: 106100\n  words:\n  - text: Virgo\n    start_ms: 105790\n- text: All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n  start_ms: 106190\n  end_ms: 110260\n  words:\n  - text: 'All '\n    start_ms: 106190\n  - text: 'Virgos '\n    start_ms: 106269\n  - text: 'are '\n    start_ms: 106467\n  - text: 'extremely '\n    start_ms: 106646\n  - text: 'friendly '\n    start_ms: 107220\n  - text: 'and '\n    start_ms: 107953\n  - text: 'intelligent, '\n    start_ms: 108289\n  - text: 'except '\n    start_ms: 109458\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 109755\n  - text: you\n    start_ms: 109953\n- text: Expect a big surprise today\n  start_ms: 110260\n  end_ms: 112460\n  words:\n  - text: 'Expect '\n    start_ms: 110260\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 110957\n  - text: 'big '\n    start_ms: 111096\n  - text: 'surprise '\n    start_ms: 111375\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 112012\n- text: When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n  start_ms: 112460\n  end_ms: 115530\n  words:\n  - text: 'When '\n    start_ms: 112460\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 112836\n  - text: 'wind '\n    start_ms: 112995\n  - text: 'up '\n    start_ms: 113331\n  - text: 'with '\n    start_ms: 113470\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 113609\n  - text: 'head '\n    start_ms: 113747\n  - text: 'impaled '\n    start_ms: 114005\n  - text: 'upon '\n    start_ms: 114599\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 114916\n  - text: stick\n    start_ms: 115035\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 115530\n  end_ms: 120610\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 115530\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 116030\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 116170\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 116970\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 117290\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 117450\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 117750\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 117950\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 118250\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 118790\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 120640\n  end_ms: 125840\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 120640\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 121210\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 121348\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 122114\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 122449\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 125840\n  end_ms: 130920\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 125840\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 126300\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 126440\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 127200\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 127520\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 127680\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 128060\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 128400\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 128500\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 128840\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 130920\n  end_ms: 133910\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 130920\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 131440\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 131540\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 132340\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 132660\n- text: Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n  start_ms: 133970\n  end_ms: 139160\n  words:\n  - text: 'Now '\n    start_ms: 133970\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 135990\n  - text: 'may '\n    start_ms: 136110\n  - text: 'find '\n    start_ms: 136250\n  - text: 'it '\n    start_ms: 136470\n  - text: 'inconceivable '\n    start_ms: 136630\n  - text: 'or '\n    start_ms: 137390\n  - text: 'rather '\n    start_ms: 137550\n  - text: 'very '\n    start_ms: 137870\n  - text: 'least '\n    start_ms: 138170\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 138410\n  - text: 'bit '\n    start_ms: 138510\n  - text: 'unlikely '\n    start_ms: 138710\n  - text: that\n    start_ms: 139110\n- text: The relative position of the planets and the stars\n  start_ms: 139180\n  end_ms: 141410\n  words:\n  - text: 'The '\n    start_ms: 139180\n  - text: 'relative '\n    start_ms: 139475\n  - text: 'position '\n    start_ms: 139966\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 140496\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 140614\n  - text: 'planets '\n    start_ms: 140732\n  - text: 'and '\n    start_ms: 141105\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 141223\n  - text: stars\n    start_ms: 141345\n- text: Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n  start_ms: 141410\n  end_ms: 143440\n  words:\n  - text: 'Could '\n    start_ms: 141410\n  - text: 'have '\n    start_ms: 141727\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 141905\n  - text: 'special '\n    start_ms: 142004\n  - text: 'deep '\n    start_ms: 142321\n  - text: 'significance '\n    start_ms: 142499\n  - text: 'or '\n    start_ms: 143173\n  - text: meaning\n    start_ms: 143291\n- text: That exclusively applies to only you\n  start_ms: 143440\n  end_ms: 145280\n  words:\n  - text: 'That '\n    start_ms: 143440\n  - text: 'exclusively '\n    start_ms: 143780\n  - text: 'applies '\n    start_ms: 144440\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 144780\n  - text: 'only '\n    start_ms: 144960\n  - text: you\n    start_ms: 145220\n- text: But, let me give you my assurance that\n  start_ms: 145300\n  end_ms: 146910\n  words:\n  - text: 'But, '\n    start_ms: 145300\n  - text: 'let '\n    start_ms: 145600\n  - text: 'me '\n    start_ms: 145740\n  - text: 'give '\n    start_ms: 145920\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 146100\n  - text: 'my '\n    start_ms: 146220\n  - text: 'assurance '\n    start_ms: 146440\n  - text: that\n    start_ms: 146840\n- text: These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n  start_ms: 146980\n  end_ms: 148670\n  words:\n  - text: 'These '\n    start_ms: 146980\n  - text: 'forecasts '\n    start_ms: 147235\n  - text: 'and '\n    start_ms: 147589\n  - text: 'predictions '\n    start_ms: 147707\n  - text: 'are '\n    start_ms: 148238\n  - text: 'all '\n    start_ms: 148375\n  - text: 'based '\n    start_ms: 148493\n  - text: on\n    start_ms: 148659\n- text: Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n  start_ms: 148670\n  end_ms: 150770\n  words:\n  - text: 'Solid, '\n    start_ms: 148670\n  - text: 'scientific, '\n    start_ms: 149150\n  - text: 'documented '\n    start_ms: 149790\n  - text: evidence\n    start_ms: 150490\n- text: So you would have to be some kind of moron\n  start_ms: 150770\n  end_ms: 152440\n  words:\n  - text: 'So '\n    start_ms: 150770\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 151110\n  - text: 'would '\n    start_ms: 151230\n  - text: 'have '\n    start_ms: 151390\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 151570\n  - text: 'be '\n    start_ms: 151710\n  - text: 'some '\n    start_ms: 151850\n  - text: 'kind '\n    start_ms: 152030\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 152210\n  - text: moron\n    start_ms: 152330\n- text: Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n  start_ms: 152470\n  end_ms: 155630\n  words:\n  - text: 'Not '\n    start_ms: 152470\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 152860\n  - text: 'realize '\n    start_ms: 153036\n  - text: 'that '\n    start_ms: 153504\n  - text: 'every '\n    start_ms: 153718\n  - text: 'single '\n    start_ms: 153952\n  - text: 'one '\n    start_ms: 154284\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 154460\n  - text: 'them '\n    start_ms: 154596\n  - text: 'is '\n    start_ms: 154772\n  - text: 'absolutely '\n    start_ms: 154967\n  - text: 'true'\n    start_ms: 155513\n- text: Where was I?\n  start_ms: 155630\n  end_ms: 156100\n  words:\n  - text: 'Where '\n    start_ms: 155630\n  - text: 'was '\n    start_ms: 155825\n  - text: I?\n    start_ms: 156020\n- text: Libra\n  start_ms: 156100\n  end_ms: 156450\n  words:\n  - text: Libra\n    start_ms: 156100\n- text: A big promotion is just around\n  start_ms: 156530\n  end_ms: 158500\n  words:\n  - text: 'A '\n    start_ms: 156530\n  - text: 'big '\n    start_ms: 156860\n  - text: 'promotion '\n    start_ms: 157151\n  - text: 'is '\n    start_ms: 157986\n  - text: 'just '\n    start_ms: 158122\n  - text: around\n    start_ms: 158296\n- text: The corner for someone much more talented than you\n  start_ms: 158500\n  end_ms: 161790\n  words:\n  - text: 'The '\n    start_ms: 158500\n  - text: 'corner '\n    start_ms: 158700\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 159200\n  - text: 'someone '\n    start_ms: 159360\n  - text: 'much '\n    start_ms: 159660\n  - text: 'more '\n    start_ms: 159840\n  - text: 'talented '\n    start_ms: 160000\n  - text: 'than '\n    start_ms: 160800\n  - text: you\n    start_ms: 161200\n- text: Laughter is the very best medicine\n  start_ms: 161820\n  end_ms: 163630\n  words:\n  - text: 'Laughter '\n    start_ms: 161820\n  - text: 'is '\n    start_ms: 162351\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 162489\n  - text: 'very '\n    start_ms: 162607\n  - text: 'best '\n    start_ms: 162922\n  - text: medicine\n    start_ms: 163099\n- text: Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n  start_ms: 163630\n  end_ms: 166260\n  words:\n  - text: 'Remember '\n    start_ms: 163630\n  - text: 'that '\n    start_ms: 164230\n  - text: 'when '\n    start_ms: 164410\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 164710\n  - text: 'appendix '\n    start_ms: 164910\n  - text: 'bursts '\n    start_ms: 165650\n  - text: 'next '\n    start_ms: 165930\n  - text: week\n    start_ms: 166170\n- text: Scorpio, get ready for an\n  start_ms: 166340\n  end_ms: 167740\n  words:\n  - text: 'Scorpio, '\n    start_ms: 166340\n  - text: 'get '\n    start_ms: 166982\n  - text: 'ready '\n    start_ms: 167137\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 167448\n  - text: an\n    start_ms: 167662\n- text: Unexpected trip\n  start_ms: 167740\n  end_ms: 169110\n  words:\n  - text: 'Unexpected '\n    start_ms: 167740\n  - text: trip\n    start_ms: 168848\n- text: When you fall screaming from an open window\n  start_ms: 169110\n  end_ms: 171790\n  words:\n  - text: 'When '\n    start_ms: 169110\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 169350\n  - text: 'fall '\n    start_ms: 169470\n  - text: 'screaming '\n    start_ms: 169630\n  - text: 'from '\n    start_ms: 169970\n  - text: 'an '\n    start_ms: 170210\n  - text: 'open '\n    start_ms: 170370\n  - text: window\n    start_ms: 170810\n- text: Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n  start_ms: 171860\n  end_ms: 176770\n  words:\n  - text: 'Work '\n    start_ms: 171860\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 172220\n  - text: 'little '\n    start_ms: 172340\n  - text: 'bit '\n    start_ms: 172640\n  - text: 'harder '\n    start_ms: 172800\n  - text: 'on '\n    start_ms: 173320\n  - text: 'improving '\n    start_ms: 173480\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 173940\n  - text: 'low '\n    start_ms: 174100\n  - text: self-\n    start_ms: 174720\n  - text: 'esteem, '\n    start_ms: 175080\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 175740\n  - text: 'stupid '\n    start_ms: 176020\n  - text: freak\n    start_ms: 176500\n- text: Sagittarius\n  start_ms: 176780\n  end_ms: 177420\n  words:\n  - text: Sagittarius\n    start_ms: 176780\n- text: All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n  start_ms: 177460\n  end_ms: 182190\n  words:\n  - text: 'All '\n    start_ms: 177460\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 177857\n  - text: 'friends '\n    start_ms: 177995\n  - text: 'are '\n    start_ms: 178352\n  - text: 'laughing '\n    start_ms: 178630\n  - text: 'behind '\n    start_ms: 179126\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 179622\n  - text: 'back '\n    start_ms: 179919\n  - text: '(kill '\n    start_ms: 180990\n  - text: them)\n    start_ms: 181684\n- text: Take down all those naked pictures of\n  start_ms: 182190\n  end_ms: 184250\n  words:\n  - text: 'Take '\n    start_ms: 182190\n  - text: 'down '\n    start_ms: 182510\n  - text: 'all '\n    start_ms: 182710\n  - text: 'those '\n    start_ms: 182970\n  - text: 'naked '\n    start_ms: 183150\n  - text: 'pictures '\n    start_ms: 183770\n  - text: of\n    start_ms: 184230\n- text: Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n  start_ms: 184270\n  end_ms: 186940\n  words:\n  - text: 'Ernest '\n    start_ms: 184270\n  - text: 'Borgnine, '\n    start_ms: 185050\n  - text: 'you''ve '\n    start_ms: 185590\n  - text: 'got '\n    start_ms: 185710\n  - text: 'hanging '\n    start_ms: 185870\n  - text: 'in '\n    start_ms: 186450\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 186650\n  - text: den\n    start_ms: 186830\n- text: Capricorn\n  start_ms: 186950\n  end_ms: 187880\n  words:\n  - text: Capricorn\n    start_ms: 186950\n- text: The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n  start_ms: 187880\n  end_ms: 191340\n  words:\n  - text: 'The '\n    start_ms: 187880\n  - text: 'stars '\n    start_ms: 188218\n  - text: 'say '\n    start_ms: 188596\n  - text: 'that '\n    start_ms: 188874\n  - text: 'you''re '\n    start_ms: 189053\n  - text: 'an '\n    start_ms: 189272\n  - text: 'exciting '\n    start_ms: 189411\n  - text: 'and '\n    start_ms: 190028\n  - text: 'wonderful '\n    start_ms: 190187\n  - text: person\n    start_ms: 190803\n- text: But, you know they're lying\n  start_ms: 191340\n  end_ms: 192610\n  words:\n  - text: 'But, '\n    start_ms: 191340\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 191780\n  - text: 'know '\n    start_ms: 191900\n  - text: 'they''re '\n    start_ms: 192060\n  - text: lying\n    start_ms: 192240\n- text: If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n  start_ms: 192620\n  end_ms: 194400\n  words:\n  - text: 'If '\n    start_ms: 192620\n  - text: 'I '\n    start_ms: 192940\n  - text: 'were '\n    start_ms: 193020\n  - text: 'you, '\n    start_ms: 193240\n  - text: 'I''d '\n    start_ms: 193400\n  - text: 'lock '\n    start_ms: 193520\n  - text: 'my '\n    start_ms: 193700\n  - text: 'doors '\n    start_ms: 193840\n  - text: 'and '\n    start_ms: 194040\n  - text: windows\n    start_ms: 194180\n- text: And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n  start_ms: 194420\n  end_ms: 197970\n  words:\n  - text: 'And '\n    start_ms: 194420\n  - text: 'never, '\n    start_ms: 194720\n  - text: 'never, '\n    start_ms: 195200\n  - text: 'never, '\n    start_ms: 195540\n  - text: 'never, '\n    start_ms: 195860\n  - text: 'never '\n    start_ms: 196160\n  - text: 'leave '\n    start_ms: 196420\n  - text: 'my '\n    start_ms: 196620\n  - text: 'house '\n    start_ms: 196860\n  - text: again\n    start_ms: 197160\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 197980\n  end_ms: 203040\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 197980\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 198440\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 198560\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 199360\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 199660\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 199840\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 200220\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 200560\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 200640\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 201160\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 203070\n  end_ms: 208240\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 203070\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 203561\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 203699\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 204485\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 204820\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 208240\n  end_ms: 213280\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 208240\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 208660\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 208800\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 209600\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 209940\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 210080\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 210460\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 210770\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 210920\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 211380\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 213360\n  end_ms: 218550\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 213360\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 213894\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 214032\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 214803\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 215139\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 218550\n  end_ms: 223640\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 218550\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 219027\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 219166\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 219922\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 220240\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 220717\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 222069\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 222348\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 223272\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 223530\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 223640\n  end_ms: 228800\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 223640\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 224096\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 224561\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 224987\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 225324\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n  start_ms: 228800\n  end_ms: 233880\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 228800\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 229220\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 229340\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 230140\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 230440\n  - text: '(yay, '\n    start_ms: 231900\n  - text: 'yay, '\n    start_ms: 232260\n  - text: 'yay, '\n    start_ms: 232580\n  - text: 'yay, '\n    start_ms: 232710\n  - text: yay)\n    start_ms: 232880\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 233960\n  end_ms: 237090\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 233960\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 234440\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 234560\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 235340\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 235680\nplain: |-\n  Aquarius\n  There's travel in your future\n  When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n  Fill that void in your pathetic life\n  By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n\n  Pisces\n  Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n  You are the true Lord of the dance\n  No matter what those idiots at work say\n\n  Aries\n  The look on your face will be priceless\n  When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n  Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n\n  Taurus\n  You will never find true happiness\n  What you gonna do, cry about it?\n  The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n  Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n\n  Gemini\n  Your birthday party will be ruined\n  Once again by your explosive flatulence\n  Your love life will run into trouble\n  When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n\n  Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n  You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n  Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n\n  Leo\n  Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n  And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n  Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n  Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n\n  Virgo\n  All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n  Expect a big surprise today\n  When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n\n  Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n  The relative position of the planets and the stars\n  Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n  That exclusively applies to only you\n\n  But, let me give you my assurance that\n  These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n  Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n  So you would have to be some kind of moron\n  Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n\n  Where was I?\n\n  Libra\n  A big promotion is just around\n  The corner for someone much more talented than you\n  Laughter is the very best medicine\n  Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n\n  Scorpio, get ready for an\n  Unexpected trip\n  When you fall screaming from an open window\n  Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n\n  Sagittarius\n  All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n  Take down all those naked pictures of\n  Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n\n  Capricorn\n  The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n  But, you know they're lying\n  If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n  And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n"},{"id":9708249,"name":"Your Horoscope For Today","trackName":"Your Horoscope For Today","artistName":"«Weird Al» Yankovic","albumName":"The Essential «Weird Al» Yankovic [CD 2]","duration":240.0,"instrumental":false,"hasWordSync":true,"plainLyrics":"Aquarius\nThere's travel in your future\nWhen your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\nFill that void in your pathetic life\nBy playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n\nPisces\nTry to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\nYou are the true Lord of the dance\nNo matter what those idiots at work say\n\nAries\nThe look on your face will be priceless\nWhen you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\nTrade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n\nTaurus\nYou will never find true happiness\nWhat you gonna do, cry about it?\nThe stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\nDo a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n\nGemini\nYour birthday party will be ruined\nOnce again by your explosive flatulence\nYour love life will run into trouble\nWhen your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n\nCancer, the position of Jupiter says that\nYou should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\nTry not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n\nLeo\nNow is not a good time to photocopy your butt\nAnd staple it to your bosses face, oh no\nEat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\nThen wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n\nVirgo\nAll Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\nExpect a big surprise today\nWhen you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\n\nNow you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\nThe relative position of the planets and the stars\nCould have a special deep significance or meaning\nThat exclusively applies to only you\n\nBut, let me give you my assurance that\nThese forecasts and predictions are all based on\nSolid, scientific, documented evidence\nSo you would have to be some kind of moron\nNot to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n\nWhere was I?\n\nLibra\nA big promotion is just around\nThe corner for someone much more talented than you\nLaughter is the very best medicine\nRemember that when your appendix bursts next week\n\nScorpio, get ready for an\nUnexpected trip\nWhen you fall screaming from an open window\nWork a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n\nSagittarius\nAll your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\nTake down all those naked pictures of\nErnest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n\nCapricorn\nThe stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\nBut, you know they're lying\nIf I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\nAnd never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\nThat's your horoscope for today","syncedLyrics":"[00:10.94] Aquarius\n[00:12.19] There's travel in your future\n[00:13.34] When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n[00:17.38] Fill that void in your pathetic life\n[00:19.54] By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n[00:22.24] Pisces\n[00:22.99] Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n[00:27.50] You are the true Lord of the dance\n[00:30.35] No matter what those idiots at work say\n[00:32.24] Aries\n[00:32.71] The look on your face will be priceless\n[00:34.54] When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n[00:38.46] Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n[00:42.55] Taurus\n[00:42.95] You will never find true happiness\n[00:45.30] What you gonna do, cry about it?\n[00:48.07] The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n[00:50.41] Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n[00:53.39] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[00:58.76] That's your horoscope for today\n[01:03.88] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[01:08.97] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[01:12.62] Gemini\n[01:14.03] Your birthday party will be ruined\n[01:16.08] Once again by your explosive flatulence\n[01:18.76] Your love life will run into trouble\n[01:20.94] When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n[01:23.86] Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n[01:26.01] You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n[01:29.66] Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n[01:34.18] Leo\n[01:34.56] Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n[01:37.05] And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n[01:39.63] Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n[01:41.54] Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n[01:44.80] Virgo\n[01:45.38] All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n[01:49.94] Expect a big surprise today\n[01:52.39] When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n[01:55.23] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[02:00.38] That's your horoscope for today\n[02:05.61] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[02:10.77] That's your horoscope for today\n[02:13.96] Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n[02:18.97] The relative position of the planets and the stars\n[02:21.32] Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n[02:23.46] That exclusively applies to only you\n[02:25.14] But, let me give you my assurance that\n[02:26.73] These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n[02:28.44] Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n[02:30.60] So you would have to be some kind of moron\n[02:32.30] Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n[02:35.42] Where was I?\n[02:36.02] Libra\n[02:36.43] A big promotion is just around\n[02:38.39] The corner for someone much more talented than you\n[02:41.39] Laughter is the very best medicine\n[02:43.47] Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n[02:46.35] Scorpio, get ready for an\n[02:47.51] Unexpected trip\n[02:48.93] When you fall screaming from an open window\n[02:51.54] Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n[02:56.46] Sagittarius\n[02:57.29] All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n[03:01.99] Take down all those naked pictures of\n[03:04.00] Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n[03:06.89] Capricorn\n[03:07.56] The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n[03:11.15] But, you know they're lying\n[03:12.40] If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n[03:14.29] And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n[03:17.43] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:22.80] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:27.96] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:33.19] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:38.37] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:43.59] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:48.64] That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n[03:53.60] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:57.11] ","lyricsfile":"version: '1.0'\nmetadata:\n  title: Your Horoscope For Today\n  artist: «Weird Al» Yankovic\n  album: The Essential «Weird Al» Yankovic [CD 2]\n  duration_ms: 240000\n  instrumental: false\n  language: en\nlines:\n- text: Aquarius\n  start_ms: 11710\n  end_ms: 12390\n  words:\n  - text: Aquarius\n    start_ms: 11710\n- text: There's travel in your future\n  start_ms: 12470\n  end_ms: 13700\n  words:\n  - text: 'There''s '\n    start_ms: 12470\n  - text: 'travel '\n    start_ms: 12673\n  - text: 'in '\n    start_ms: 13025\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 13173\n  - text: future\n    start_ms: 13284\n- text: When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n  start_ms: 13700\n  end_ms: 17680\n  words:\n  - text: 'When '\n    start_ms: 13700\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 14100\n  - text: 'tongue '\n    start_ms: 14380\n  - text: 'freezes '\n    start_ms: 15000\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 15520\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 15680\n  - text: 'back '\n    start_ms: 15820\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 16060\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 16180\n  - text: 'speeding '\n    start_ms: 16320\n  - text: bus\n    start_ms: 16940\n- text: Fill that void in your pathetic life\n  start_ms: 17750\n  end_ms: 19840\n  words:\n  - text: 'Fill '\n    start_ms: 17750\n  - text: 'that '\n    start_ms: 18030\n  - text: 'void '\n    start_ms: 18330\n  - text: 'in '\n    start_ms: 18690\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 18810\n  - text: 'pathetic '\n    start_ms: 18950\n  - text: life\n    start_ms: 19610\n- text: By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n  start_ms: 19840\n  end_ms: 22550\n  words:\n  - text: 'By '\n    start_ms: 19840\n  - text: 'playing '\n    start_ms: 20059\n  - text: whack-\n    start_ms: 20418\n  - text: a-\n    start_ms: 20617\n  - text: 'mole '\n    start_ms: 20737\n  - text: '17 '\n    start_ms: 21016\n  - text: 'hours '\n    start_ms: 21574\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 21892\n  - text: day\n    start_ms: 22171\n- text: Pisces\n  start_ms: 22550\n  end_ms: 22910\n  words:\n  - text: Pisces\n    start_ms: 22550\n- text: Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n  start_ms: 22970\n  end_ms: 27650\n  words:\n  - text: 'Try '\n    start_ms: 22970\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 23370\n  - text: 'avoid '\n    start_ms: 23570\n  - text: 'any '\n    start_ms: 24050\n  - text: 'Virgos '\n    start_ms: 24290\n  - text: 'or '\n    start_ms: 24670\n  - text: 'Leos '\n    start_ms: 24830\n  - text: 'with '\n    start_ms: 25790\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 25950\n  - text: 'ebola '\n    start_ms: 26130\n  - text: virus\n    start_ms: 26730\n- text: You are the true Lord of the dance\n  start_ms: 27670\n  end_ms: 30440\n  words:\n  - text: 'You '\n    start_ms: 27670\n  - text: 'are '\n    start_ms: 28086\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 28382\n  - text: 'true '\n    start_ms: 28640\n  - text: 'Lord '\n    start_ms: 29312\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 29688\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 29807\n  - text: dance\n    start_ms: 29965\n- text: No matter what those idiots at work say\n  start_ms: 30440\n  end_ms: 32670\n  words:\n  - text: 'No '\n    start_ms: 30440\n  - text: 'matter '\n    start_ms: 30756\n  - text: 'what '\n    start_ms: 31052\n  - text: 'those '\n    start_ms: 31210\n  - text: 'idiots '\n    start_ms: 31427\n  - text: 'at '\n    start_ms: 31881\n  - text: 'work '\n    start_ms: 32019\n  - text: say\n    start_ms: 32295\n- text: Aries\n  start_ms: 32670\n  end_ms: 33060\n  words:\n  - text: Aries\n    start_ms: 32670\n- text: The look on your face will be priceless\n  start_ms: 33070\n  end_ms: 34840\n  words:\n  - text: 'The '\n    start_ms: 33070\n  - text: 'look '\n    start_ms: 33270\n  - text: 'on '\n    start_ms: 33490\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 33630\n  - text: 'face '\n    start_ms: 33770\n  - text: 'will '\n    start_ms: 34090\n  - text: 'be '\n    start_ms: 34250\n  - text: priceless\n    start_ms: 34390\n- text: When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n  start_ms: 34880\n  end_ms: 38430\n  words:\n  - text: 'When '\n    start_ms: 34880\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 35115\n  - text: 'find '\n    start_ms: 35253\n  - text: 'that '\n    start_ms: 35606\n  - text: '40 '\n    start_ms: 35998\n  - text: 'pound '\n    start_ms: 36194\n  - text: 'watermelon '\n    start_ms: 36508\n  - text: 'in '\n    start_ms: 37489\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 37626\n  - text: colon\n    start_ms: 37763\n- text: Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n  start_ms: 38430\n  end_ms: 42720\n  words:\n  - text: 'Trade '\n    start_ms: 38430\n  - text: 'toothbrushes '\n    start_ms: 38910\n  - text: 'with '\n    start_ms: 39730\n  - text: 'an '\n    start_ms: 39890\n  - text: 'albino '\n    start_ms: 40070\n  - text: 'dwarf, '\n    start_ms: 40790\n  - text: 'then '\n    start_ms: 41150\n  - text: 'give '\n    start_ms: 41330\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 41530\n  - text: 'hickey '\n    start_ms: 41610\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 41970\n  - text: 'Meryl '\n    start_ms: 42110\n  - text: Streep\n    start_ms: 42410\n- text: Taurus\n  start_ms: 42730\n  end_ms: 43120\n  words:\n  - text: Taurus\n    start_ms: 42730\n- text: You will never find true happiness\n  start_ms: 43180\n  end_ms: 45740\n  words:\n  - text: 'You '\n    start_ms: 43180\n  - text: 'will '\n    start_ms: 43460\n  - text: 'never '\n    start_ms: 43620\n  - text: 'find '\n    start_ms: 44120\n  - text: 'true '\n    start_ms: 44420\n  - text: happiness\n    start_ms: 44760\n- text: What you gonna do, cry about it?\n  start_ms: 45760\n  end_ms: 48220\n  words:\n  - text: 'What '\n    start_ms: 45760\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 46068\n  - text: 'gonna '\n    start_ms: 46221\n  - text: 'do, '\n    start_ms: 46548\n  - text: 'cry '\n    start_ms: 46817\n  - text: 'about '\n    start_ms: 47240\n  - text: it?\n    start_ms: 47682\n- text: The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n  start_ms: 48220\n  end_ms: 50670\n  words:\n  - text: 'The '\n    start_ms: 48220\n  - text: 'stars '\n    start_ms: 48500\n  - text: 'predict '\n    start_ms: 48880\n  - text: 'tomorrow '\n    start_ms: 49520\n  - text: 'you''ll '\n    start_ms: 49980\n  - text: 'wake '\n    start_ms: 50200\n  - text: up\n    start_ms: 50520\n- text: Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n  start_ms: 50770\n  end_ms: 53720\n  words:\n  - text: 'Do '\n    start_ms: 50770\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 51078\n  - text: 'bunch '\n    start_ms: 51194\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 51541\n  - text: 'stuff '\n    start_ms: 51792\n  - text: 'and '\n    start_ms: 52139\n  - text: 'then '\n    start_ms: 52447\n  - text: 'go '\n    start_ms: 52737\n  - text: 'back '\n    start_ms: 52891\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 53045\n  - text: sleep\n    start_ms: 53180\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 53720\n  end_ms: 58780\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 53720\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 54200\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 54320\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 55100\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 55420\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 55600\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 55980\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 56180\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 56420\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 56760\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 58860\n  end_ms: 64000\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 58860\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 59408\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 59526\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 60289\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 60642\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 64000\n  end_ms: 69030\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 64000\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 64460\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 64600\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 65380\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 65700\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 65880\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 66165\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 66455\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 66680\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 67040\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 69170\n  end_ms: 72630\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 69170\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 69758\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 69895\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 70640\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 70954\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 71562\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 71914\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 72091\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 72297\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 72405\n- text: Gemini\n  start_ms: 72630\n  end_ms: 74210\n  words:\n  - text: Gemini\n    start_ms: 72630\n- text: Your birthday party will be ruined\n  start_ms: 74260\n  end_ms: 76150\n  words:\n  - text: 'Your '\n    start_ms: 74260\n  - text: 'birthday '\n    start_ms: 74540\n  - text: 'party '\n    start_ms: 75040\n  - text: 'will '\n    start_ms: 75520\n  - text: 'be '\n    start_ms: 75680\n  - text: ruined\n    start_ms: 75860\n- text: Once again by your explosive flatulence\n  start_ms: 76160\n  end_ms: 79310\n  words:\n  - text: 'Once '\n    start_ms: 76160\n  - text: 'again '\n    start_ms: 76701\n  - text: 'by '\n    start_ms: 77242\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 77416\n  - text: 'explosive '\n    start_ms: 77532\n  - text: flatulence\n    start_ms: 78150\n- text: Your love life will run into trouble\n  start_ms: 79310\n  end_ms: 81000\n  words:\n  - text: 'Your '\n    start_ms: 79310\n  - text: 'love '\n    start_ms: 79550\n  - text: 'life '\n    start_ms: 79750\n  - text: 'will '\n    start_ms: 79910\n  - text: 'run '\n    start_ms: 80090\n  - text: 'into '\n    start_ms: 80430\n  - text: trouble\n    start_ms: 80670\n- text: When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n  start_ms: 81090\n  end_ms: 83930\n  words:\n  - text: 'When '\n    start_ms: 81090\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 81444\n  - text: 'fiancé '\n    start_ms: 81601\n  - text: 'hurls '\n    start_ms: 82368\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 82721\n  - text: 'javelin '\n    start_ms: 82839\n  - text: 'through '\n    start_ms: 83291\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 83488\n  - text: chest\n    start_ms: 83645\n- text: Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n  start_ms: 83930\n  end_ms: 86190\n  words:\n  - text: 'Cancer, '\n    start_ms: 83930\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 84410\n  - text: 'position '\n    start_ms: 84570\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 85110\n  - text: 'Jupiter '\n    start_ms: 85250\n  - text: 'says '\n    start_ms: 85850\n  - text: that\n    start_ms: 86170\n- text: You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n  start_ms: 86220\n  end_ms: 89770\n  words:\n  - text: 'You '\n    start_ms: 86220\n  - text: 'should '\n    start_ms: 86499\n  - text: 'spend '\n    start_ms: 86699\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 87038\n  - text: 'rest '\n    start_ms: 87217\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 87556\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 87676\n  - text: 'week '\n    start_ms: 87855\n  - text: 'face '\n    start_ms: 88155\n  - text: 'down '\n    start_ms: 88494\n  - text: 'in '\n    start_ms: 88853\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 88972\n  - text: mud\n    start_ms: 89132\n- text: Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n  start_ms: 89770\n  end_ms: 94320\n  words:\n  - text: 'Try '\n    start_ms: 89770\n  - text: 'not '\n    start_ms: 90090\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 90250\n  - text: 'shove '\n    start_ms: 90390\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 90850\n  - text: 'roll '\n    start_ms: 91070\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 91490\n  - text: 'duct '\n    start_ms: 91710\n  - text: 'tape '\n    start_ms: 91990\n  - text: 'up '\n    start_ms: 92230\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 92370\n  - text: 'nose '\n    start_ms: 92510\n  - text: 'while '\n    start_ms: 92810\n  - text: 'taking '\n    start_ms: 93010\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 93490\n  - text: 'driver''s '\n    start_ms: 93610\n  - text: test\n    start_ms: 94110\n- text: Leo\n  start_ms: 94320\n  end_ms: 94630\n  words:\n  - text: Leo\n    start_ms: 94320\n- text: Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n  start_ms: 94630\n  end_ms: 96970\n  words:\n  - text: 'Now '\n    start_ms: 94630\n  - text: 'is '\n    start_ms: 94890\n  - text: 'not '\n    start_ms: 95010\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 95230\n  - text: 'good '\n    start_ms: 95310\n  - text: 'time '\n    start_ms: 95510\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 95810\n  - text: 'photocopy '\n    start_ms: 95950\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 96630\n  - text: butt\n    start_ms: 96810\n- text: And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n  start_ms: 97040\n  end_ms: 99830\n  words:\n  - text: 'And '\n    start_ms: 97040\n  - text: 'staple '\n    start_ms: 97300\n  - text: 'it '\n    start_ms: 97700\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 97820\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 97980\n  - text: 'bosses '\n    start_ms: 98140\n  - text: 'face, '\n    start_ms: 98780\n  - text: 'oh '\n    start_ms: 99140\n  - text: no\n    start_ms: 99420\n- text: Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n  start_ms: 99830\n  end_ms: 101780\n  words:\n  - text: 'Eat '\n    start_ms: 99830\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 100130\n  - text: 'bucket '\n    start_ms: 100250\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 100590\n  - text: tuna-\n    start_ms: 100710\n  - text: 'flavored '\n    start_ms: 101170\n  - text: pudding\n    start_ms: 101530\n- text: Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n  start_ms: 101790\n  end_ms: 105790\n  words:\n  - text: 'Then '\n    start_ms: 101790\n  - text: 'wash '\n    start_ms: 102049\n  - text: 'it '\n    start_ms: 102427\n  - text: 'down '\n    start_ms: 102646\n  - text: 'with '\n    start_ms: 103004\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 103143\n  - text: 'gallon '\n    start_ms: 103283\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 103700\n  - text: 'Strawberry '\n    start_ms: 103899\n  - text: Quik\n    start_ms: 104556\n- text: Virgo\n  start_ms: 105790\n  end_ms: 106100\n  words:\n  - text: Virgo\n    start_ms: 105790\n- text: All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n  start_ms: 106190\n  end_ms: 110260\n  words:\n  - text: 'All '\n    start_ms: 106190\n  - text: 'Virgos '\n    start_ms: 106269\n  - text: 'are '\n    start_ms: 106467\n  - text: 'extremely '\n    start_ms: 106646\n  - text: 'friendly '\n    start_ms: 107220\n  - text: 'and '\n    start_ms: 107953\n  - text: 'intelligent, '\n    start_ms: 108289\n  - text: 'except '\n    start_ms: 109458\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 109755\n  - text: you\n    start_ms: 109953\n- text: Expect a big surprise today\n  start_ms: 110260\n  end_ms: 112460\n  words:\n  - text: 'Expect '\n    start_ms: 110260\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 110957\n  - text: 'big '\n    start_ms: 111096\n  - text: 'surprise '\n    start_ms: 111375\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 112012\n- text: When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n  start_ms: 112460\n  end_ms: 115530\n  words:\n  - text: 'When '\n    start_ms: 112460\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 112836\n  - text: 'wind '\n    start_ms: 112995\n  - text: 'up '\n    start_ms: 113331\n  - text: 'with '\n    start_ms: 113470\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 113609\n  - text: 'head '\n    start_ms: 113747\n  - text: 'impaled '\n    start_ms: 114005\n  - text: 'upon '\n    start_ms: 114599\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 114916\n  - text: stick\n    start_ms: 115035\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 115530\n  end_ms: 120610\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 115530\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 116030\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 116170\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 116970\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 117290\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 117450\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 117750\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 117950\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 118250\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 118790\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 120640\n  end_ms: 125840\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 120640\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 121210\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 121348\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 122114\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 122449\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 125840\n  end_ms: 130920\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 125840\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 126300\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 126440\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 127200\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 127520\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 127680\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 128060\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 128400\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 128500\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 128840\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 130920\n  end_ms: 133910\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 130920\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 131440\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 131540\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 132340\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 132660\n- text: Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n  start_ms: 133970\n  end_ms: 139160\n  words:\n  - text: 'Now '\n    start_ms: 133970\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 135990\n  - text: 'may '\n    start_ms: 136110\n  - text: 'find '\n    start_ms: 136250\n  - text: 'it '\n    start_ms: 136470\n  - text: 'inconceivable '\n    start_ms: 136630\n  - text: 'or '\n    start_ms: 137390\n  - text: 'rather '\n    start_ms: 137550\n  - text: 'very '\n    start_ms: 137870\n  - text: 'least '\n    start_ms: 138170\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 138410\n  - text: 'bit '\n    start_ms: 138510\n  - text: 'unlikely '\n    start_ms: 138710\n  - text: that\n    start_ms: 139110\n- text: The relative position of the planets and the stars\n  start_ms: 139180\n  end_ms: 141410\n  words:\n  - text: 'The '\n    start_ms: 139180\n  - text: 'relative '\n    start_ms: 139475\n  - text: 'position '\n    start_ms: 139966\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 140496\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 140614\n  - text: 'planets '\n    start_ms: 140732\n  - text: 'and '\n    start_ms: 141105\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 141223\n  - text: stars\n    start_ms: 141345\n- text: Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n  start_ms: 141410\n  end_ms: 143440\n  words:\n  - text: 'Could '\n    start_ms: 141410\n  - text: 'have '\n    start_ms: 141727\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 141905\n  - text: 'special '\n    start_ms: 142004\n  - text: 'deep '\n    start_ms: 142321\n  - text: 'significance '\n    start_ms: 142499\n  - text: 'or '\n    start_ms: 143173\n  - text: meaning\n    start_ms: 143291\n- text: That exclusively applies to only you\n  start_ms: 143440\n  end_ms: 145280\n  words:\n  - text: 'That '\n    start_ms: 143440\n  - text: 'exclusively '\n    start_ms: 143780\n  - text: 'applies '\n    start_ms: 144440\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 144780\n  - text: 'only '\n    start_ms: 144960\n  - text: you\n    start_ms: 145220\n- text: But, let me give you my assurance that\n  start_ms: 145300\n  end_ms: 146910\n  words:\n  - text: 'But, '\n    start_ms: 145300\n  - text: 'let '\n    start_ms: 145600\n  - text: 'me '\n    start_ms: 145740\n  - text: 'give '\n    start_ms: 145920\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 146100\n  - text: 'my '\n    start_ms: 146220\n  - text: 'assurance '\n    start_ms: 146440\n  - text: that\n    start_ms: 146840\n- text: These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n  start_ms: 146980\n  end_ms: 148670\n  words:\n  - text: 'These '\n    start_ms: 146980\n  - text: 'forecasts '\n    start_ms: 147235\n  - text: 'and '\n    start_ms: 147589\n  - text: 'predictions '\n    start_ms: 147707\n  - text: 'are '\n    start_ms: 148238\n  - text: 'all '\n    start_ms: 148375\n  - text: 'based '\n    start_ms: 148493\n  - text: on\n    start_ms: 148659\n- text: Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n  start_ms: 148670\n  end_ms: 150770\n  words:\n  - text: 'Solid, '\n    start_ms: 148670\n  - text: 'scientific, '\n    start_ms: 149150\n  - text: 'documented '\n    start_ms: 149790\n  - text: evidence\n    start_ms: 150490\n- text: So you would have to be some kind of moron\n  start_ms: 150770\n  end_ms: 152440\n  words:\n  - text: 'So '\n    start_ms: 150770\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 151110\n  - text: 'would '\n    start_ms: 151230\n  - text: 'have '\n    start_ms: 151390\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 151570\n  - text: 'be '\n    start_ms: 151710\n  - text: 'some '\n    start_ms: 151850\n  - text: 'kind '\n    start_ms: 152030\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 152210\n  - text: moron\n    start_ms: 152330\n- text: Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n  start_ms: 152470\n  end_ms: 155630\n  words:\n  - text: 'Not '\n    start_ms: 152470\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 152860\n  - text: 'realize '\n    start_ms: 153036\n  - text: 'that '\n    start_ms: 153504\n  - text: 'every '\n    start_ms: 153718\n  - text: 'single '\n    start_ms: 153952\n  - text: 'one '\n    start_ms: 154284\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 154460\n  - text: 'them '\n    start_ms: 154596\n  - text: 'is '\n    start_ms: 154772\n  - text: 'absolutely '\n    start_ms: 154967\n  - text: 'true'\n    start_ms: 155513\n- text: Where was I?\n  start_ms: 155630\n  end_ms: 156100\n  words:\n  - text: 'Where '\n    start_ms: 155630\n  - text: 'was '\n    start_ms: 155825\n  - text: I?\n    start_ms: 156020\n- text: Libra\n  start_ms: 156100\n  end_ms: 156450\n  words:\n  - text: Libra\n    start_ms: 156100\n- text: A big promotion is just around\n  start_ms: 156530\n  end_ms: 158500\n  words:\n  - text: 'A '\n    start_ms: 156530\n  - text: 'big '\n    start_ms: 156860\n  - text: 'promotion '\n    start_ms: 157151\n  - text: 'is '\n    start_ms: 157986\n  - text: 'just '\n    start_ms: 158122\n  - text: around\n    start_ms: 158296\n- text: The corner for someone much more talented than you\n  start_ms: 158500\n  end_ms: 161790\n  words:\n  - text: 'The '\n    start_ms: 158500\n  - text: 'corner '\n    start_ms: 158700\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 159200\n  - text: 'someone '\n    start_ms: 159360\n  - text: 'much '\n    start_ms: 159660\n  - text: 'more '\n    start_ms: 159840\n  - text: 'talented '\n    start_ms: 160000\n  - text: 'than '\n    start_ms: 160800\n  - text: you\n    start_ms: 161200\n- text: Laughter is the very best medicine\n  start_ms: 161820\n  end_ms: 163630\n  words:\n  - text: 'Laughter '\n    start_ms: 161820\n  - text: 'is '\n    start_ms: 162351\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 162489\n  - text: 'very '\n    start_ms: 162607\n  - text: 'best '\n    start_ms: 162922\n  - text: medicine\n    start_ms: 163099\n- text: Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n  start_ms: 163630\n  end_ms: 166260\n  words:\n  - text: 'Remember '\n    start_ms: 163630\n  - text: 'that '\n    start_ms: 164230\n  - text: 'when '\n    start_ms: 164410\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 164710\n  - text: 'appendix '\n    start_ms: 164910\n  - text: 'bursts '\n    start_ms: 165650\n  - text: 'next '\n    start_ms: 165930\n  - text: week\n    start_ms: 166170\n- text: Scorpio, get ready for an\n  start_ms: 166340\n  end_ms: 167740\n  words:\n  - text: 'Scorpio, '\n    start_ms: 166340\n  - text: 'get '\n    start_ms: 166982\n  - text: 'ready '\n    start_ms: 167137\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 167448\n  - text: an\n    start_ms: 167662\n- text: Unexpected trip\n  start_ms: 167740\n  end_ms: 169110\n  words:\n  - text: 'Unexpected '\n    start_ms: 167740\n  - text: trip\n    start_ms: 168848\n- text: When you fall screaming from an open window\n  start_ms: 169110\n  end_ms: 171790\n  words:\n  - text: 'When '\n    start_ms: 169110\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 169350\n  - text: 'fall '\n    start_ms: 169470\n  - text: 'screaming '\n    start_ms: 169630\n  - text: 'from '\n    start_ms: 169970\n  - text: 'an '\n    start_ms: 170210\n  - text: 'open '\n    start_ms: 170370\n  - text: window\n    start_ms: 170810\n- text: Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n  start_ms: 171860\n  end_ms: 176770\n  words:\n  - text: 'Work '\n    start_ms: 171860\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 172220\n  - text: 'little '\n    start_ms: 172340\n  - text: 'bit '\n    start_ms: 172640\n  - text: 'harder '\n    start_ms: 172800\n  - text: 'on '\n    start_ms: 173320\n  - text: 'improving '\n    start_ms: 173480\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 173940\n  - text: 'low '\n    start_ms: 174100\n  - text: self-\n    start_ms: 174720\n  - text: 'esteem, '\n    start_ms: 175080\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 175740\n  - text: 'stupid '\n    start_ms: 176020\n  - text: freak\n    start_ms: 176500\n- text: Sagittarius\n  start_ms: 176780\n  end_ms: 177420\n  words:\n  - text: Sagittarius\n    start_ms: 176780\n- text: All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n  start_ms: 177460\n  end_ms: 182190\n  words:\n  - text: 'All '\n    start_ms: 177460\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 177857\n  - text: 'friends '\n    start_ms: 177995\n  - text: 'are '\n    start_ms: 178352\n  - text: 'laughing '\n    start_ms: 178630\n  - text: 'behind '\n    start_ms: 179126\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 179622\n  - text: 'back '\n    start_ms: 179919\n  - text: '(kill '\n    start_ms: 180990\n  - text: them)\n    start_ms: 181684\n- text: Take down all those naked pictures of\n  start_ms: 182190\n  end_ms: 184250\n  words:\n  - text: 'Take '\n    start_ms: 182190\n  - text: 'down '\n    start_ms: 182510\n  - text: 'all '\n    start_ms: 182710\n  - text: 'those '\n    start_ms: 182970\n  - text: 'naked '\n    start_ms: 183150\n  - text: 'pictures '\n    start_ms: 183770\n  - text: of\n    start_ms: 184230\n- text: Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n  start_ms: 184270\n  end_ms: 186940\n  words:\n  - text: 'Ernest '\n    start_ms: 184270\n  - text: 'Borgnine, '\n    start_ms: 185050\n  - text: 'you''ve '\n    start_ms: 185590\n  - text: 'got '\n    start_ms: 185710\n  - text: 'hanging '\n    start_ms: 185870\n  - text: 'in '\n    start_ms: 186450\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 186650\n  - text: den\n    start_ms: 186830\n- text: Capricorn\n  start_ms: 186950\n  end_ms: 187880\n  words:\n  - text: Capricorn\n    start_ms: 186950\n- text: The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n  start_ms: 187880\n  end_ms: 191340\n  words:\n  - text: 'The '\n    start_ms: 187880\n  - text: 'stars '\n    start_ms: 188218\n  - text: 'say '\n    start_ms: 188596\n  - text: 'that '\n    start_ms: 188874\n  - text: 'you''re '\n    start_ms: 189053\n  - text: 'an '\n    start_ms: 189272\n  - text: 'exciting '\n    start_ms: 189411\n  - text: 'and '\n    start_ms: 190028\n  - text: 'wonderful '\n    start_ms: 190187\n  - text: person\n    start_ms: 190803\n- text: But, you know they're lying\n  start_ms: 191340\n  end_ms: 192610\n  words:\n  - text: 'But, '\n    start_ms: 191340\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 191780\n  - text: 'know '\n    start_ms: 191900\n  - text: 'they''re '\n    start_ms: 192060\n  - text: lying\n    start_ms: 192240\n- text: If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n  start_ms: 192620\n  end_ms: 194400\n  words:\n  - text: 'If '\n    start_ms: 192620\n  - text: 'I '\n    start_ms: 192940\n  - text: 'were '\n    start_ms: 193020\n  - text: 'you, '\n    start_ms: 193240\n  - text: 'I''d '\n    start_ms: 193400\n  - text: 'lock '\n    start_ms: 193520\n  - text: 'my '\n    start_ms: 193700\n  - text: 'doors '\n    start_ms: 193840\n  - text: 'and '\n    start_ms: 194040\n  - text: windows\n    start_ms: 194180\n- text: And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n  start_ms: 194420\n  end_ms: 197970\n  words:\n  - text: 'And '\n    start_ms: 194420\n  - text: 'never, '\n    start_ms: 194720\n  - text: 'never, '\n    start_ms: 195200\n  - text: 'never, '\n    start_ms: 195540\n  - text: 'never, '\n    start_ms: 195860\n  - text: 'never '\n    start_ms: 196160\n  - text: 'leave '\n    start_ms: 196420\n  - text: 'my '\n    start_ms: 196620\n  - text: 'house '\n    start_ms: 196860\n  - text: again\n    start_ms: 197160\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 197980\n  end_ms: 203040\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 197980\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 198440\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 198560\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 199360\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 199660\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 199840\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 200220\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 200560\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 200640\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 201160\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 203070\n  end_ms: 208240\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 203070\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 203561\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 203699\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 204485\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 204820\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 208240\n  end_ms: 213280\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 208240\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 208660\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 208800\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 209600\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 209940\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 210080\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 210460\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 210770\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 210920\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 211380\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 213360\n  end_ms: 218550\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 213360\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 213894\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 214032\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 214803\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 215139\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 218550\n  end_ms: 223640\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 218550\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 219027\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 219166\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 219922\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 220240\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 220717\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 222069\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 222348\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 223272\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 223530\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 223640\n  end_ms: 228800\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 223640\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 224096\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 224561\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 224987\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 225324\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n  start_ms: 228800\n  end_ms: 233880\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 228800\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 229220\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 229340\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 230140\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 230440\n  - text: '(yay, '\n    start_ms: 231900\n  - text: 'yay, '\n    start_ms: 232260\n  - text: 'yay, '\n    start_ms: 232580\n  - text: 'yay, '\n    start_ms: 232710\n  - text: yay)\n    start_ms: 232880\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 233960\n  end_ms: 237090\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 233960\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 234440\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 234560\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 235340\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 235680\nplain: |-\n  Aquarius\n  There's travel in your future\n  When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n  Fill that void in your pathetic life\n  By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n\n  Pisces\n  Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n  You are the true Lord of the dance\n  No matter what those idiots at work say\n\n  Aries\n  The look on your face will be priceless\n  When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n  Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n\n  Taurus\n  You will never find true happiness\n  What you gonna do, cry about it?\n  The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n  Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n\n  Gemini\n  Your birthday party will be ruined\n  Once again by your explosive flatulence\n  Your love life will run into trouble\n  When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n\n  Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n  You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n  Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n\n  Leo\n  Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n  And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n  Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n  Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n\n  Virgo\n  All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n  Expect a big surprise today\n  When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n\n  Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n  The relative position of the planets and the stars\n  Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n  That exclusively applies to only you\n\n  But, let me give you my assurance that\n  These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n  Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n  So you would have to be some kind of moron\n  Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n\n  Where was I?\n\n  Libra\n  A big promotion is just around\n  The corner for someone much more talented than you\n  Laughter is the very best medicine\n  Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n\n  Scorpio, get ready for an\n  Unexpected trip\n  When you fall screaming from an open window\n  Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n\n  Sagittarius\n  All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n  Take down all those naked pictures of\n  Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n\n  Capricorn\n  The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n  But, you know they're lying\n  If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n  And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n"},{"id":33730311,"name":"Your Horoscope For Today","trackName":"Your Horoscope For Today","artistName":"“Weird Al” Yankovic","albumName":"The Essential “Weird Al” Yankovic, Disc 2","duration":241.0,"instrumental":false,"hasWordSync":false,"plainLyrics":"Aquarius\nThere's travel in your future\nWhen your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\nFill that void in your pathetic life\nBy playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n\nPisces\nTry to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\nYou are the true Lord of the dance\nNo matter what those idiots at work say\n\nAries\nThe look on your face will be priceless\nWhen you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\nTrade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n\nTaurus\nYou will never find true happiness\nWhat you gonna do, cry about it?\nThe stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\nDo a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n\nGemini\nYour birthday party will be ruined\nOnce again by your explosive flatulence\nYour love life will run into trouble\nWhen your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n\nCancer, the position of Jupiter says that\nYou should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\nTry not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n\nLeo\nNow is not a good time to photocopy your butt\nAnd staple it to your bosses face, oh no\nEat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\nThen wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n\nVirgo\nAll Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\nExpect a big surprise today\nWhen you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\n\nNow you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\nThe relative position of the planets and the stars\nCould have a special deep significance or meaning\nThat exclusively applies to only you\n\nBut, let me give you my assurance that\nThese forecasts and predictions are all based on\nSolid, scientific, documented evidence\nSo you would have to be some kind of moron\nNot to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n\nWhere was I?\n\nLibra\nA big promotion is just around\nThe corner for someone much more talented than you\nLaughter is the very best medicine\nRemember that when your appendix bursts next week\n\nScorpio, get ready for an\nUnexpected trip\nWhen you fall screaming from an open window\nWork a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n\nSagittarius\nAll your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\nTake down all those naked pictures of\nErnest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n\nCapricorn\nThe stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\nBut, you know they're lying\nIf I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\nAnd never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\nThat's your horoscope for today","syncedLyrics":"[00:10.94] Aquarius\n[00:12.19] There's travel in your future\n[00:13.34] When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n[00:17.38] Fill that void in your pathetic life\n[00:19.54] By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n[00:22.24] Pisces\n[00:22.99] Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n[00:27.50] You are the true Lord of the dance\n[00:30.35] No matter what those idiots at work say\n[00:32.24] Aries\n[00:32.71] The look on your face will be priceless\n[00:34.54] When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n[00:38.46] Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n[00:42.55] Taurus\n[00:42.95] You will never find true happiness\n[00:45.30] What you gonna do, cry about it?\n[00:48.07] The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n[00:50.41] Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n[00:53.39] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[00:58.76] That's your horoscope for today\n[01:03.88] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[01:08.97] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[01:12.62] Gemini\n[01:14.03] Your birthday party will be ruined\n[01:16.08] Once again by your explosive flatulence\n[01:18.76] Your love life will run into trouble\n[01:20.94] When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n[01:23.86] Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n[01:26.01] You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n[01:29.66] Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n[01:34.18] Leo\n[01:34.56] Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n[01:37.05] And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n[01:39.63] Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n[01:41.54] Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n[01:44.80] Virgo\n[01:45.38] All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n[01:49.94] Expect a big surprise today\n[01:52.39] When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n[01:55.23] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[02:00.38] That's your horoscope for today\n[02:05.61] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[02:10.77] That's your horoscope for today\n[02:13.96] Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n[02:18.97] The relative position of the planets and the stars\n[02:21.32] Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n[02:23.46] That exclusively applies to only you\n[02:25.14] But, let me give you my assurance that\n[02:26.73] These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n[02:28.44] Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n[02:30.60] So you would have to be some kind of moron\n[02:32.30] Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n[02:35.42] Where was I?\n[02:36.02] Libra\n[02:36.43] A big promotion is just around\n[02:38.39] The corner for someone much more talented than you\n[02:41.39] Laughter is the very best medicine\n[02:43.47] Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n[02:46.35] Scorpio, get ready for an\n[02:47.51] Unexpected trip\n[02:48.93] When you fall screaming from an open window\n[02:51.54] Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n[02:56.46] Sagittarius\n[02:57.29] All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n[03:01.99] Take down all those naked pictures of\n[03:04.00] Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n[03:06.89] Capricorn\n[03:07.56] The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n[03:11.15] But, you know they're lying\n[03:12.40] If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n[03:14.29] And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n[03:17.43] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:22.80] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:27.96] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:33.19] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:38.37] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:43.59] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:48.64] That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n[03:53.60] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:57.11] ","lyricsfile":"version: '1.0'\nmetadata:\n  title: Your Horoscope For Today\n  artist: “Weird Al” Yankovic\n  album: The Essential “Weird Al” Yankovic, Disc 2\n  duration_ms: 241000\n  instrumental: false\nlines:\n- text: Aquarius\n  start_ms: 10940\n  end_ms: 12190\n- text: There's travel in your future\n  start_ms: 12190\n  end_ms: 13340\n- text: When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n  start_ms: 13340\n  end_ms: 17380\n- text: Fill that void in your pathetic life\n  start_ms: 17380\n  end_ms: 19540\n- text: By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n  start_ms: 19540\n  end_ms: 22240\n- text: Pisces\n  start_ms: 22240\n  end_ms: 22990\n- text: Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n  start_ms: 22990\n  end_ms: 27500\n- text: You are the true Lord of the dance\n  start_ms: 27500\n  end_ms: 30350\n- text: No matter what those idiots at work say\n  start_ms: 30350\n  end_ms: 32240\n- text: Aries\n  start_ms: 32240\n  end_ms: 32710\n- text: The look on your face will be priceless\n  start_ms: 32710\n  end_ms: 34540\n- text: When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n  start_ms: 34540\n  end_ms: 38460\n- text: Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n  start_ms: 38460\n  end_ms: 42550\n- text: Taurus\n  start_ms: 42550\n  end_ms: 42950\n- text: You will never find true happiness\n  start_ms: 42950\n  end_ms: 45300\n- text: What you gonna do, cry about it?\n  start_ms: 45300\n  end_ms: 48070\n- text: The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n  start_ms: 48070\n  end_ms: 50410\n- text: Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n  start_ms: 50410\n  end_ms: 53390\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 53390\n  end_ms: 58760\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 58760\n  end_ms: 63880\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 63880\n  end_ms: 68970\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 68970\n  end_ms: 72620\n- text: Gemini\n  start_ms: 72620\n  end_ms: 74030\n- text: Your birthday party will be ruined\n  start_ms: 74030\n  end_ms: 76080\n- text: Once again by your explosive flatulence\n  start_ms: 76080\n  end_ms: 78760\n- text: Your love life will run into trouble\n  start_ms: 78760\n  end_ms: 80940\n- text: When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n  start_ms: 80940\n  end_ms: 83860\n- text: Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n  start_ms: 83860\n  end_ms: 86010\n- text: You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n  start_ms: 86010\n  end_ms: 89660\n- text: Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n  start_ms: 89660\n  end_ms: 94180\n- text: Leo\n  start_ms: 94180\n  end_ms: 94560\n- text: Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n  start_ms: 94560\n  end_ms: 97050\n- text: And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n  start_ms: 97050\n  end_ms: 99630\n- text: Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n  start_ms: 99630\n  end_ms: 101540\n- text: Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n  start_ms: 101540\n  end_ms: 104800\n- text: Virgo\n  start_ms: 104800\n  end_ms: 105380\n- text: All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n  start_ms: 105380\n  end_ms: 109940\n- text: Expect a big surprise today\n  start_ms: 109940\n  end_ms: 112390\n- text: When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n  start_ms: 112390\n  end_ms: 115230\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 115230\n  end_ms: 120380\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 120380\n  end_ms: 125610\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 125610\n  end_ms: 130770\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 130770\n  end_ms: 133960\n- text: Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n  start_ms: 133960\n  end_ms: 138970\n- text: The relative position of the planets and the stars\n  start_ms: 138970\n  end_ms: 141320\n- text: Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n  start_ms: 141320\n  end_ms: 143460\n- text: That exclusively applies to only you\n  start_ms: 143460\n  end_ms: 145140\n- text: But, let me give you my assurance that\n  start_ms: 145140\n  end_ms: 146730\n- text: These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n  start_ms: 146730\n  end_ms: 148440\n- text: Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n  start_ms: 148440\n  end_ms: 150600\n- text: So you would have to be some kind of moron\n  start_ms: 150600\n  end_ms: 152300\n- text: Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n  start_ms: 152300\n  end_ms: 155420\n- text: Where was I?\n  start_ms: 155420\n  end_ms: 156020\n- text: Libra\n  start_ms: 156020\n  end_ms: 156430\n- text: A big promotion is just around\n  start_ms: 156430\n  end_ms: 158390\n- text: The corner for someone much more talented than you\n  start_ms: 158390\n  end_ms: 161390\n- text: Laughter is the very best medicine\n  start_ms: 161390\n  end_ms: 163470\n- text: Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n  start_ms: 163470\n  end_ms: 166350\n- text: Scorpio, get ready for an\n  start_ms: 166350\n  end_ms: 167510\n- text: Unexpected trip\n  start_ms: 167510\n  end_ms: 168930\n- text: When you fall screaming from an open window\n  start_ms: 168930\n  end_ms: 171540\n- text: Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n  start_ms: 171540\n  end_ms: 176460\n- text: Sagittarius\n  start_ms: 176460\n  end_ms: 177290\n- text: All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n  start_ms: 177290\n  end_ms: 181990\n- text: Take down all those naked pictures of\n  start_ms: 181990\n  end_ms: 184000\n- text: Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n  start_ms: 184000\n  end_ms: 186890\n- text: Capricorn\n  start_ms: 186890\n  end_ms: 187560\n- text: The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n  start_ms: 187560\n  end_ms: 191150\n- text: But, you know they're lying\n  start_ms: 191150\n  end_ms: 192400\n- text: If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n  start_ms: 192400\n  end_ms: 194290\n- text: And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n  start_ms: 194290\n  end_ms: 197430\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 197430\n  end_ms: 202800\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 202800\n  end_ms: 207960\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 207960\n  end_ms: 213190\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 213190\n  end_ms: 218370\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 218370\n  end_ms: 223590\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 223590\n  end_ms: 228640\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n  start_ms: 228640\n  end_ms: 233600\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 233600\n  end_ms: 237110\n- text: ''\n  start_ms: 237110\nplain: |-\n  Aquarius\n  There's travel in your future\n  When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n  Fill that void in your pathetic life\n  By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n\n  Pisces\n  Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n  You are the true Lord of the dance\n  No matter what those idiots at work say\n\n  Aries\n  The look on your face will be priceless\n  When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n  Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n\n  Taurus\n  You will never find true happiness\n  What you gonna do, cry about it?\n  The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n  Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n\n  Gemini\n  Your birthday party will be ruined\n  Once again by your explosive flatulence\n  Your love life will run into trouble\n  When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n\n  Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n  You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n  Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n\n  Leo\n  Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n  And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n  Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n  Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n\n  Virgo\n  All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n  Expect a big surprise today\n  When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n\n  Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n  The relative position of the planets and the stars\n  Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n  That exclusively applies to only you\n\n  But, let me give you my assurance that\n  These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n  Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n  So you would have to be some kind of moron\n  Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n\n  Where was I?\n\n  Libra\n  A big promotion is just around\n  The corner for someone much more talented than you\n  Laughter is the very best medicine\n  Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n\n  Scorpio, get ready for an\n  Unexpected trip\n  When you fall screaming from an open window\n  Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n\n  Sagittarius\n  All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n  Take down all those naked pictures of\n  Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n\n  Capricorn\n  The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n  But, you know they're lying\n  If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n  And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n"},{"id":3436167,"name":"Your Horoscope for Today","trackName":"Your Horoscope for Today","artistName":"“Weird Al” Yankovic","albumName":"Squeeze Box: The Complete Works of “Weird Al” Yankovic","duration":239.0,"instrumental":false,"hasWordSync":true,"plainLyrics":"Aquarius\nThere's travel in your future\nWhen your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\nFill that void in your pathetic life\nBy playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n\nPisces\nTry to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\nYou are the true Lord of the dance\nNo matter what those idiots at work say\n\nAries\nThe look on your face will be priceless\nWhen you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\nTrade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n\nTaurus\nYou will never find true happiness\nWhat you gonna do, cry about it?\nThe stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\nDo a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n\nGemini\nYour birthday party will be ruined\nOnce again by your explosive flatulence\nYour love life will run into trouble\nWhen your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n\nCancer, the position of Jupiter says that\nYou should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\nTry not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n\nLeo\nNow is not a good time to photocopy your butt\nAnd staple it to your bosses face, oh no\nEat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\nThen wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n\nVirgo\nAll Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\nExpect a big surprise today\nWhen you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\n\nNow you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\nThe relative position of the planets and the stars\nCould have a special deep significance or meaning\nThat exclusively applies to only you\n\nBut, let me give you my assurance that\nThese forecasts and predictions are all based on\nSolid, scientific, documented evidence\nSo you would have to be some kind of moron\nNot to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n\nWhere was I?\n\nLibra\nA big promotion is just around\nThe corner for someone much more talented than you\nLaughter is the very best medicine\nRemember that when your appendix bursts next week\n\nScorpio, get ready for an\nUnexpected trip\nWhen you fall screaming from an open window\nWork a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n\nSagittarius\nAll your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\nTake down all those naked pictures of\nErnest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n\nCapricorn\nThe stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\nBut, you know they're lying\nIf I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\nAnd never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\nThat's your horoscope for today","syncedLyrics":"[00:10.94] Aquarius\n[00:12.19] There's travel in your future\n[00:13.34] When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n[00:17.38] Fill that void in your pathetic life\n[00:19.54] By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n[00:22.24] Pisces\n[00:22.99] Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n[00:27.50] You are the true Lord of the dance\n[00:30.35] No matter what those idiots at work say\n[00:32.24] Aries\n[00:32.71] The look on your face will be priceless\n[00:34.54] When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n[00:38.46] Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n[00:42.55] Taurus\n[00:42.95] You will never find true happiness\n[00:45.30] What you gonna do, cry about it?\n[00:48.07] The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n[00:50.41] Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n[00:53.39] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[00:58.76] That's your horoscope for today\n[01:03.88] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[01:08.97] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[01:12.62] Gemini\n[01:14.03] Your birthday party will be ruined\n[01:16.08] Once again by your explosive flatulence\n[01:18.76] Your love life will run into trouble\n[01:20.94] When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n[01:23.86] Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n[01:26.01] You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n[01:29.66] Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n[01:34.18] Leo\n[01:34.56] Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n[01:37.05] And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n[01:39.63] Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n[01:41.54] Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n[01:44.80] Virgo\n[01:45.38] All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n[01:49.94] Expect a big surprise today\n[01:52.39] When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n[01:55.23] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[02:00.38] That's your horoscope for today\n[02:05.61] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[02:10.77] That's your horoscope for today\n[02:13.96] Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n[02:18.97] The relative position of the planets and the stars\n[02:21.32] Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n[02:23.46] That exclusively applies to only you\n[02:25.14] But, let me give you my assurance that\n[02:26.73] These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n[02:28.44] Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n[02:30.60] So you would have to be some kind of moron\n[02:32.30] Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n[02:35.42] Where was I?\n[02:36.02] Libra\n[02:36.43] A big promotion is just around\n[02:38.39] The corner for someone much more talented than you\n[02:41.39] Laughter is the very best medicine\n[02:43.47] Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n[02:46.35] Scorpio, get ready for an\n[02:47.51] Unexpected trip\n[02:48.93] When you fall screaming from an open window\n[02:51.54] Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n[02:56.46] Sagittarius\n[02:57.29] All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n[03:01.99] Take down all those naked pictures of\n[03:04.00] Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n[03:06.89] Capricorn\n[03:07.56] The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n[03:11.15] But, you know they're lying\n[03:12.40] If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n[03:14.29] And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n[03:17.43] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:22.80] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:27.96] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:33.19] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:38.37] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:43.59] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:48.64] That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n[03:53.60] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:57.11] ","lyricsfile":"version: '1.0'\nmetadata:\n  title: Your Horoscope for Today\n  artist: “Weird Al” Yankovic\n  album: 'Squeeze Box: The Complete Works of “Weird Al” Yankovic'\n  duration_ms: 239000\n  instrumental: false\n  language: en\nlines:\n- text: Aquarius\n  start_ms: 11710\n  end_ms: 12390\n  words:\n  - text: Aquarius\n    start_ms: 11710\n- text: There's travel in your future\n  start_ms: 12470\n  end_ms: 13700\n  words:\n  - text: 'There''s '\n    start_ms: 12470\n  - text: 'travel '\n    start_ms: 12673\n  - text: 'in '\n    start_ms: 13025\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 13173\n  - text: future\n    start_ms: 13284\n- text: When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n  start_ms: 13700\n  end_ms: 17680\n  words:\n  - text: 'When '\n    start_ms: 13700\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 14100\n  - text: 'tongue '\n    start_ms: 14380\n  - text: 'freezes '\n    start_ms: 15000\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 15520\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 15680\n  - text: 'back '\n    start_ms: 15820\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 16060\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 16180\n  - text: 'speeding '\n    start_ms: 16320\n  - text: bus\n    start_ms: 16940\n- text: Fill that void in your pathetic life\n  start_ms: 17750\n  end_ms: 19840\n  words:\n  - text: 'Fill '\n    start_ms: 17750\n  - text: 'that '\n    start_ms: 18030\n  - text: 'void '\n    start_ms: 18330\n  - text: 'in '\n    start_ms: 18690\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 18810\n  - text: 'pathetic '\n    start_ms: 18950\n  - text: life\n    start_ms: 19610\n- text: By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n  start_ms: 19840\n  end_ms: 22550\n  words:\n  - text: 'By '\n    start_ms: 19840\n  - text: 'playing '\n    start_ms: 20059\n  - text: whack-\n    start_ms: 20418\n  - text: a-\n    start_ms: 20617\n  - text: 'mole '\n    start_ms: 20737\n  - text: '17 '\n    start_ms: 21016\n  - text: 'hours '\n    start_ms: 21574\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 21892\n  - text: day\n    start_ms: 22171\n- text: Pisces\n  start_ms: 22550\n  end_ms: 22910\n  words:\n  - text: Pisces\n    start_ms: 22550\n- text: Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n  start_ms: 22970\n  end_ms: 27650\n  words:\n  - text: 'Try '\n    start_ms: 22970\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 23370\n  - text: 'avoid '\n    start_ms: 23570\n  - text: 'any '\n    start_ms: 24050\n  - text: 'Virgos '\n    start_ms: 24290\n  - text: 'or '\n    start_ms: 24670\n  - text: 'Leos '\n    start_ms: 24830\n  - text: 'with '\n    start_ms: 25790\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 25950\n  - text: 'ebola '\n    start_ms: 26130\n  - text: virus\n    start_ms: 26730\n- text: You are the true Lord of the dance\n  start_ms: 27670\n  end_ms: 30440\n  words:\n  - text: 'You '\n    start_ms: 27670\n  - text: 'are '\n    start_ms: 28086\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 28382\n  - text: 'true '\n    start_ms: 28640\n  - text: 'Lord '\n    start_ms: 29312\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 29688\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 29807\n  - text: dance\n    start_ms: 29965\n- text: No matter what those idiots at work say\n  start_ms: 30440\n  end_ms: 32670\n  words:\n  - text: 'No '\n    start_ms: 30440\n  - text: 'matter '\n    start_ms: 30756\n  - text: 'what '\n    start_ms: 31052\n  - text: 'those '\n    start_ms: 31210\n  - text: 'idiots '\n    start_ms: 31427\n  - text: 'at '\n    start_ms: 31881\n  - text: 'work '\n    start_ms: 32019\n  - text: say\n    start_ms: 32295\n- text: Aries\n  start_ms: 32670\n  end_ms: 33060\n  words:\n  - text: Aries\n    start_ms: 32670\n- text: The look on your face will be priceless\n  start_ms: 33070\n  end_ms: 34840\n  words:\n  - text: 'The '\n    start_ms: 33070\n  - text: 'look '\n    start_ms: 33270\n  - text: 'on '\n    start_ms: 33490\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 33630\n  - text: 'face '\n    start_ms: 33770\n  - text: 'will '\n    start_ms: 34090\n  - text: 'be '\n    start_ms: 34250\n  - text: priceless\n    start_ms: 34390\n- text: When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n  start_ms: 34880\n  end_ms: 38430\n  words:\n  - text: 'When '\n    start_ms: 34880\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 35115\n  - text: 'find '\n    start_ms: 35253\n  - text: 'that '\n    start_ms: 35606\n  - text: '40 '\n    start_ms: 35998\n  - text: 'pound '\n    start_ms: 36194\n  - text: 'watermelon '\n    start_ms: 36508\n  - text: 'in '\n    start_ms: 37489\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 37626\n  - text: colon\n    start_ms: 37763\n- text: Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n  start_ms: 38430\n  end_ms: 42720\n  words:\n  - text: 'Trade '\n    start_ms: 38430\n  - text: 'toothbrushes '\n    start_ms: 38910\n  - text: 'with '\n    start_ms: 39730\n  - text: 'an '\n    start_ms: 39890\n  - text: 'albino '\n    start_ms: 40070\n  - text: 'dwarf, '\n    start_ms: 40790\n  - text: 'then '\n    start_ms: 41150\n  - text: 'give '\n    start_ms: 41330\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 41530\n  - text: 'hickey '\n    start_ms: 41610\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 41970\n  - text: 'Meryl '\n    start_ms: 42110\n  - text: Streep\n    start_ms: 42410\n- text: Taurus\n  start_ms: 42730\n  end_ms: 43120\n  words:\n  - text: Taurus\n    start_ms: 42730\n- text: You will never find true happiness\n  start_ms: 43180\n  end_ms: 45740\n  words:\n  - text: 'You '\n    start_ms: 43180\n  - text: 'will '\n    start_ms: 43460\n  - text: 'never '\n    start_ms: 43620\n  - text: 'find '\n    start_ms: 44120\n  - text: 'true '\n    start_ms: 44420\n  - text: happiness\n    start_ms: 44760\n- text: What you gonna do, cry about it?\n  start_ms: 45760\n  end_ms: 48220\n  words:\n  - text: 'What '\n    start_ms: 45760\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 46068\n  - text: 'gonna '\n    start_ms: 46221\n  - text: 'do, '\n    start_ms: 46548\n  - text: 'cry '\n    start_ms: 46817\n  - text: 'about '\n    start_ms: 47240\n  - text: it?\n    start_ms: 47682\n- text: The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n  start_ms: 48220\n  end_ms: 50670\n  words:\n  - text: 'The '\n    start_ms: 48220\n  - text: 'stars '\n    start_ms: 48500\n  - text: 'predict '\n    start_ms: 48880\n  - text: 'tomorrow '\n    start_ms: 49520\n  - text: 'you''ll '\n    start_ms: 49980\n  - text: 'wake '\n    start_ms: 50200\n  - text: up\n    start_ms: 50520\n- text: Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n  start_ms: 50770\n  end_ms: 53720\n  words:\n  - text: 'Do '\n    start_ms: 50770\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 51078\n  - text: 'bunch '\n    start_ms: 51194\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 51541\n  - text: 'stuff '\n    start_ms: 51792\n  - text: 'and '\n    start_ms: 52139\n  - text: 'then '\n    start_ms: 52447\n  - text: 'go '\n    start_ms: 52737\n  - text: 'back '\n    start_ms: 52891\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 53045\n  - text: sleep\n    start_ms: 53180\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 53720\n  end_ms: 58780\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 53720\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 54200\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 54320\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 55100\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 55420\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 55600\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 55980\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 56180\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 56420\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 56760\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 58860\n  end_ms: 64000\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 58860\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 59408\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 59526\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 60289\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 60642\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 64000\n  end_ms: 69030\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 64000\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 64460\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 64600\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 65380\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 65700\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 65880\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 66165\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 66455\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 66680\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 67040\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 69170\n  end_ms: 72630\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 69170\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 69758\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 69895\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 70640\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 70954\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 71562\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 71914\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 72091\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 72297\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 72405\n- text: Gemini\n  start_ms: 72630\n  end_ms: 74210\n  words:\n  - text: Gemini\n    start_ms: 72630\n- text: Your birthday party will be ruined\n  start_ms: 74260\n  end_ms: 76150\n  words:\n  - text: 'Your '\n    start_ms: 74260\n  - text: 'birthday '\n    start_ms: 74540\n  - text: 'party '\n    start_ms: 75040\n  - text: 'will '\n    start_ms: 75520\n  - text: 'be '\n    start_ms: 75680\n  - text: ruined\n    start_ms: 75860\n- text: Once again by your explosive flatulence\n  start_ms: 76160\n  end_ms: 79310\n  words:\n  - text: 'Once '\n    start_ms: 76160\n  - text: 'again '\n    start_ms: 76701\n  - text: 'by '\n    start_ms: 77242\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 77416\n  - text: 'explosive '\n    start_ms: 77532\n  - text: flatulence\n    start_ms: 78150\n- text: Your love life will run into trouble\n  start_ms: 79310\n  end_ms: 81000\n  words:\n  - text: 'Your '\n    start_ms: 79310\n  - text: 'love '\n    start_ms: 79550\n  - text: 'life '\n    start_ms: 79750\n  - text: 'will '\n    start_ms: 79910\n  - text: 'run '\n    start_ms: 80090\n  - text: 'into '\n    start_ms: 80430\n  - text: trouble\n    start_ms: 80670\n- text: When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n  start_ms: 81090\n  end_ms: 83930\n  words:\n  - text: 'When '\n    start_ms: 81090\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 81444\n  - text: 'fiancé '\n    start_ms: 81601\n  - text: 'hurls '\n    start_ms: 82368\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 82721\n  - text: 'javelin '\n    start_ms: 82839\n  - text: 'through '\n    start_ms: 83291\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 83488\n  - text: chest\n    start_ms: 83645\n- text: Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n  start_ms: 83930\n  end_ms: 86190\n  words:\n  - text: 'Cancer, '\n    start_ms: 83930\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 84410\n  - text: 'position '\n    start_ms: 84570\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 85110\n  - text: 'Jupiter '\n    start_ms: 85250\n  - text: 'says '\n    start_ms: 85850\n  - text: that\n    start_ms: 86170\n- text: You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n  start_ms: 86220\n  end_ms: 89770\n  words:\n  - text: 'You '\n    start_ms: 86220\n  - text: 'should '\n    start_ms: 86499\n  - text: 'spend '\n    start_ms: 86699\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 87038\n  - text: 'rest '\n    start_ms: 87217\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 87556\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 87676\n  - text: 'week '\n    start_ms: 87855\n  - text: 'face '\n    start_ms: 88155\n  - text: 'down '\n    start_ms: 88494\n  - text: 'in '\n    start_ms: 88853\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 88972\n  - text: mud\n    start_ms: 89132\n- text: Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n  start_ms: 89770\n  end_ms: 94320\n  words:\n  - text: 'Try '\n    start_ms: 89770\n  - text: 'not '\n    start_ms: 90090\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 90250\n  - text: 'shove '\n    start_ms: 90390\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 90850\n  - text: 'roll '\n    start_ms: 91070\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 91490\n  - text: 'duct '\n    start_ms: 91710\n  - text: 'tape '\n    start_ms: 91990\n  - text: 'up '\n    start_ms: 92230\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 92370\n  - text: 'nose '\n    start_ms: 92510\n  - text: 'while '\n    start_ms: 92810\n  - text: 'taking '\n    start_ms: 93010\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 93490\n  - text: 'driver''s '\n    start_ms: 93610\n  - text: test\n    start_ms: 94110\n- text: Leo\n  start_ms: 94320\n  end_ms: 94630\n  words:\n  - text: Leo\n    start_ms: 94320\n- text: Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n  start_ms: 94630\n  end_ms: 96970\n  words:\n  - text: 'Now '\n    start_ms: 94630\n  - text: 'is '\n    start_ms: 94890\n  - text: 'not '\n    start_ms: 95010\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 95230\n  - text: 'good '\n    start_ms: 95310\n  - text: 'time '\n    start_ms: 95510\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 95810\n  - text: 'photocopy '\n    start_ms: 95950\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 96630\n  - text: butt\n    start_ms: 96810\n- text: And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n  start_ms: 97040\n  end_ms: 99830\n  words:\n  - text: 'And '\n    start_ms: 97040\n  - text: 'staple '\n    start_ms: 97300\n  - text: 'it '\n    start_ms: 97700\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 97820\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 97980\n  - text: 'bosses '\n    start_ms: 98140\n  - text: 'face, '\n    start_ms: 98780\n  - text: 'oh '\n    start_ms: 99140\n  - text: no\n    start_ms: 99420\n- text: Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n  start_ms: 99830\n  end_ms: 101780\n  words:\n  - text: 'Eat '\n    start_ms: 99830\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 100130\n  - text: 'bucket '\n    start_ms: 100250\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 100590\n  - text: tuna-\n    start_ms: 100710\n  - text: 'flavored '\n    start_ms: 101170\n  - text: pudding\n    start_ms: 101530\n- text: Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n  start_ms: 101790\n  end_ms: 105790\n  words:\n  - text: 'Then '\n    start_ms: 101790\n  - text: 'wash '\n    start_ms: 102049\n  - text: 'it '\n    start_ms: 102427\n  - text: 'down '\n    start_ms: 102646\n  - text: 'with '\n    start_ms: 103004\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 103143\n  - text: 'gallon '\n    start_ms: 103283\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 103700\n  - text: 'Strawberry '\n    start_ms: 103899\n  - text: Quik\n    start_ms: 104556\n- text: Virgo\n  start_ms: 105790\n  end_ms: 106100\n  words:\n  - text: Virgo\n    start_ms: 105790\n- text: All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n  start_ms: 106190\n  end_ms: 110260\n  words:\n  - text: 'All '\n    start_ms: 106190\n  - text: 'Virgos '\n    start_ms: 106269\n  - text: 'are '\n    start_ms: 106467\n  - text: 'extremely '\n    start_ms: 106646\n  - text: 'friendly '\n    start_ms: 107220\n  - text: 'and '\n    start_ms: 107953\n  - text: 'intelligent, '\n    start_ms: 108289\n  - text: 'except '\n    start_ms: 109458\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 109755\n  - text: you\n    start_ms: 109953\n- text: Expect a big surprise today\n  start_ms: 110260\n  end_ms: 112460\n  words:\n  - text: 'Expect '\n    start_ms: 110260\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 110957\n  - text: 'big '\n    start_ms: 111096\n  - text: 'surprise '\n    start_ms: 111375\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 112012\n- text: When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n  start_ms: 112460\n  end_ms: 115530\n  words:\n  - text: 'When '\n    start_ms: 112460\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 112836\n  - text: 'wind '\n    start_ms: 112995\n  - text: 'up '\n    start_ms: 113331\n  - text: 'with '\n    start_ms: 113470\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 113609\n  - text: 'head '\n    start_ms: 113747\n  - text: 'impaled '\n    start_ms: 114005\n  - text: 'upon '\n    start_ms: 114599\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 114916\n  - text: stick\n    start_ms: 115035\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 115530\n  end_ms: 120610\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 115530\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 116030\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 116170\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 116970\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 117290\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 117450\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 117750\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 117950\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 118250\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 118790\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 120640\n  end_ms: 125840\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 120640\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 121210\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 121348\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 122114\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 122449\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 125840\n  end_ms: 130920\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 125840\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 126300\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 126440\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 127200\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 127520\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 127680\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 128060\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 128400\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 128500\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 128840\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 130920\n  end_ms: 133910\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 130920\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 131440\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 131540\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 132340\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 132660\n- text: Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n  start_ms: 133970\n  end_ms: 139160\n  words:\n  - text: 'Now '\n    start_ms: 133970\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 135990\n  - text: 'may '\n    start_ms: 136110\n  - text: 'find '\n    start_ms: 136250\n  - text: 'it '\n    start_ms: 136470\n  - text: 'inconceivable '\n    start_ms: 136630\n  - text: 'or '\n    start_ms: 137390\n  - text: 'rather '\n    start_ms: 137550\n  - text: 'very '\n    start_ms: 137870\n  - text: 'least '\n    start_ms: 138170\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 138410\n  - text: 'bit '\n    start_ms: 138510\n  - text: 'unlikely '\n    start_ms: 138710\n  - text: that\n    start_ms: 139110\n- text: The relative position of the planets and the stars\n  start_ms: 139180\n  end_ms: 141410\n  words:\n  - text: 'The '\n    start_ms: 139180\n  - text: 'relative '\n    start_ms: 139475\n  - text: 'position '\n    start_ms: 139966\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 140496\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 140614\n  - text: 'planets '\n    start_ms: 140732\n  - text: 'and '\n    start_ms: 141105\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 141223\n  - text: stars\n    start_ms: 141345\n- text: Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n  start_ms: 141410\n  end_ms: 143440\n  words:\n  - text: 'Could '\n    start_ms: 141410\n  - text: 'have '\n    start_ms: 141727\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 141905\n  - text: 'special '\n    start_ms: 142004\n  - text: 'deep '\n    start_ms: 142321\n  - text: 'significance '\n    start_ms: 142499\n  - text: 'or '\n    start_ms: 143173\n  - text: meaning\n    start_ms: 143291\n- text: That exclusively applies to only you\n  start_ms: 143440\n  end_ms: 145280\n  words:\n  - text: 'That '\n    start_ms: 143440\n  - text: 'exclusively '\n    start_ms: 143780\n  - text: 'applies '\n    start_ms: 144440\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 144780\n  - text: 'only '\n    start_ms: 144960\n  - text: you\n    start_ms: 145220\n- text: But, let me give you my assurance that\n  start_ms: 145300\n  end_ms: 146910\n  words:\n  - text: 'But, '\n    start_ms: 145300\n  - text: 'let '\n    start_ms: 145600\n  - text: 'me '\n    start_ms: 145740\n  - text: 'give '\n    start_ms: 145920\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 146100\n  - text: 'my '\n    start_ms: 146220\n  - text: 'assurance '\n    start_ms: 146440\n  - text: that\n    start_ms: 146840\n- text: These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n  start_ms: 146980\n  end_ms: 148670\n  words:\n  - text: 'These '\n    start_ms: 146980\n  - text: 'forecasts '\n    start_ms: 147235\n  - text: 'and '\n    start_ms: 147589\n  - text: 'predictions '\n    start_ms: 147707\n  - text: 'are '\n    start_ms: 148238\n  - text: 'all '\n    start_ms: 148375\n  - text: 'based '\n    start_ms: 148493\n  - text: on\n    start_ms: 148659\n- text: Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n  start_ms: 148670\n  end_ms: 150770\n  words:\n  - text: 'Solid, '\n    start_ms: 148670\n  - text: 'scientific, '\n    start_ms: 149150\n  - text: 'documented '\n    start_ms: 149790\n  - text: evidence\n    start_ms: 150490\n- text: So you would have to be some kind of moron\n  start_ms: 150770\n  end_ms: 152440\n  words:\n  - text: 'So '\n    start_ms: 150770\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 151110\n  - text: 'would '\n    start_ms: 151230\n  - text: 'have '\n    start_ms: 151390\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 151570\n  - text: 'be '\n    start_ms: 151710\n  - text: 'some '\n    start_ms: 151850\n  - text: 'kind '\n    start_ms: 152030\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 152210\n  - text: moron\n    start_ms: 152330\n- text: Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n  start_ms: 152470\n  end_ms: 155630\n  words:\n  - text: 'Not '\n    start_ms: 152470\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 152860\n  - text: 'realize '\n    start_ms: 153036\n  - text: 'that '\n    start_ms: 153504\n  - text: 'every '\n    start_ms: 153718\n  - text: 'single '\n    start_ms: 153952\n  - text: 'one '\n    start_ms: 154284\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 154460\n  - text: 'them '\n    start_ms: 154596\n  - text: 'is '\n    start_ms: 154772\n  - text: 'absolutely '\n    start_ms: 154967\n  - text: 'true'\n    start_ms: 155513\n- text: Where was I?\n  start_ms: 155630\n  end_ms: 156100\n  words:\n  - text: 'Where '\n    start_ms: 155630\n  - text: 'was '\n    start_ms: 155825\n  - text: I?\n    start_ms: 156020\n- text: Libra\n  start_ms: 156100\n  end_ms: 156450\n  words:\n  - text: Libra\n    start_ms: 156100\n- text: A big promotion is just around\n  start_ms: 156530\n  end_ms: 158500\n  words:\n  - text: 'A '\n    start_ms: 156530\n  - text: 'big '\n    start_ms: 156860\n  - text: 'promotion '\n    start_ms: 157151\n  - text: 'is '\n    start_ms: 157986\n  - text: 'just '\n    start_ms: 158122\n  - text: around\n    start_ms: 158296\n- text: The corner for someone much more talented than you\n  start_ms: 158500\n  end_ms: 161790\n  words:\n  - text: 'The '\n    start_ms: 158500\n  - text: 'corner '\n    start_ms: 158700\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 159200\n  - text: 'someone '\n    start_ms: 159360\n  - text: 'much '\n    start_ms: 159660\n  - text: 'more '\n    start_ms: 159840\n  - text: 'talented '\n    start_ms: 160000\n  - text: 'than '\n    start_ms: 160800\n  - text: you\n    start_ms: 161200\n- text: Laughter is the very best medicine\n  start_ms: 161820\n  end_ms: 163630\n  words:\n  - text: 'Laughter '\n    start_ms: 161820\n  - text: 'is '\n    start_ms: 162351\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 162489\n  - text: 'very '\n    start_ms: 162607\n  - text: 'best '\n    start_ms: 162922\n  - text: medicine\n    start_ms: 163099\n- text: Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n  start_ms: 163630\n  end_ms: 166260\n  words:\n  - text: 'Remember '\n    start_ms: 163630\n  - text: 'that '\n    start_ms: 164230\n  - text: 'when '\n    start_ms: 164410\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 164710\n  - text: 'appendix '\n    start_ms: 164910\n  - text: 'bursts '\n    start_ms: 165650\n  - text: 'next '\n    start_ms: 165930\n  - text: week\n    start_ms: 166170\n- text: Scorpio, get ready for an\n  start_ms: 166340\n  end_ms: 167740\n  words:\n  - text: 'Scorpio, '\n    start_ms: 166340\n  - text: 'get '\n    start_ms: 166982\n  - text: 'ready '\n    start_ms: 167137\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 167448\n  - text: an\n    start_ms: 167662\n- text: Unexpected trip\n  start_ms: 167740\n  end_ms: 169110\n  words:\n  - text: 'Unexpected '\n    start_ms: 167740\n  - text: trip\n    start_ms: 168848\n- text: When you fall screaming from an open window\n  start_ms: 169110\n  end_ms: 171790\n  words:\n  - text: 'When '\n    start_ms: 169110\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 169350\n  - text: 'fall '\n    start_ms: 169470\n  - text: 'screaming '\n    start_ms: 169630\n  - text: 'from '\n    start_ms: 169970\n  - text: 'an '\n    start_ms: 170210\n  - text: 'open '\n    start_ms: 170370\n  - text: window\n    start_ms: 170810\n- text: Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n  start_ms: 171860\n  end_ms: 176770\n  words:\n  - text: 'Work '\n    start_ms: 171860\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 172220\n  - text: 'little '\n    start_ms: 172340\n  - text: 'bit '\n    start_ms: 172640\n  - text: 'harder '\n    start_ms: 172800\n  - text: 'on '\n    start_ms: 173320\n  - text: 'improving '\n    start_ms: 173480\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 173940\n  - text: 'low '\n    start_ms: 174100\n  - text: self-\n    start_ms: 174720\n  - text: 'esteem, '\n    start_ms: 175080\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 175740\n  - text: 'stupid '\n    start_ms: 176020\n  - text: freak\n    start_ms: 176500\n- text: Sagittarius\n  start_ms: 176780\n  end_ms: 177420\n  words:\n  - text: Sagittarius\n    start_ms: 176780\n- text: All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n  start_ms: 177460\n  end_ms: 182190\n  words:\n  - text: 'All '\n    start_ms: 177460\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 177857\n  - text: 'friends '\n    start_ms: 177995\n  - text: 'are '\n    start_ms: 178352\n  - text: 'laughing '\n    start_ms: 178630\n  - text: 'behind '\n    start_ms: 179126\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 179622\n  - text: 'back '\n    start_ms: 179919\n  - text: '(kill '\n    start_ms: 180990\n  - text: them)\n    start_ms: 181684\n- text: Take down all those naked pictures of\n  start_ms: 182190\n  end_ms: 184250\n  words:\n  - text: 'Take '\n    start_ms: 182190\n  - text: 'down '\n    start_ms: 182510\n  - text: 'all '\n    start_ms: 182710\n  - text: 'those '\n    start_ms: 182970\n  - text: 'naked '\n    start_ms: 183150\n  - text: 'pictures '\n    start_ms: 183770\n  - text: of\n    start_ms: 184230\n- text: Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n  start_ms: 184270\n  end_ms: 186940\n  words:\n  - text: 'Ernest '\n    start_ms: 184270\n  - text: 'Borgnine, '\n    start_ms: 185050\n  - text: 'you''ve '\n    start_ms: 185590\n  - text: 'got '\n    start_ms: 185710\n  - text: 'hanging '\n    start_ms: 185870\n  - text: 'in '\n    start_ms: 186450\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 186650\n  - text: den\n    start_ms: 186830\n- text: Capricorn\n  start_ms: 186950\n  end_ms: 187880\n  words:\n  - text: Capricorn\n    start_ms: 186950\n- text: The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n  start_ms: 187880\n  end_ms: 191340\n  words:\n  - text: 'The '\n    start_ms: 187880\n  - text: 'stars '\n    start_ms: 188218\n  - text: 'say '\n    start_ms: 188596\n  - text: 'that '\n    start_ms: 188874\n  - text: 'you''re '\n    start_ms: 189053\n  - text: 'an '\n    start_ms: 189272\n  - text: 'exciting '\n    start_ms: 189411\n  - text: 'and '\n    start_ms: 190028\n  - text: 'wonderful '\n    start_ms: 190187\n  - text: person\n    start_ms: 190803\n- text: But, you know they're lying\n  start_ms: 191340\n  end_ms: 192610\n  words:\n  - text: 'But, '\n    start_ms: 191340\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 191780\n  - text: 'know '\n    start_ms: 191900\n  - text: 'they''re '\n    start_ms: 192060\n  - text: lying\n    start_ms: 192240\n- text: If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n  start_ms: 192620\n  end_ms: 194400\n  words:\n  - text: 'If '\n    start_ms: 192620\n  - text: 'I '\n    start_ms: 192940\n  - text: 'were '\n    start_ms: 193020\n  - text: 'you, '\n    start_ms: 193240\n  - text: 'I''d '\n    start_ms: 193400\n  - text: 'lock '\n    start_ms: 193520\n  - text: 'my '\n    start_ms: 193700\n  - text: 'doors '\n    start_ms: 193840\n  - text: 'and '\n    start_ms: 194040\n  - text: windows\n    start_ms: 194180\n- text: And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n  start_ms: 194420\n  end_ms: 197970\n  words:\n  - text: 'And '\n    start_ms: 194420\n  - text: 'never, '\n    start_ms: 194720\n  - text: 'never, '\n    start_ms: 195200\n  - text: 'never, '\n    start_ms: 195540\n  - text: 'never, '\n    start_ms: 195860\n  - text: 'never '\n    start_ms: 196160\n  - text: 'leave '\n    start_ms: 196420\n  - text: 'my '\n    start_ms: 196620\n  - text: 'house '\n    start_ms: 196860\n  - text: again\n    start_ms: 197160\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 197980\n  end_ms: 203040\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 197980\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 198440\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 198560\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 199360\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 199660\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 199840\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 200220\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 200560\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 200640\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 201160\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 203070\n  end_ms: 208240\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 203070\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 203561\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 203699\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 204485\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 204820\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 208240\n  end_ms: 213280\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 208240\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 208660\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 208800\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 209600\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 209940\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 210080\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 210460\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 210770\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 210920\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 211380\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 213360\n  end_ms: 218550\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 213360\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 213894\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 214032\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 214803\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 215139\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 218550\n  end_ms: 223640\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 218550\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 219027\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 219166\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 219922\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 220240\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 220717\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 222069\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 222348\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 223272\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 223530\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 223640\n  end_ms: 228800\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 223640\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 224096\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 224561\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 224987\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 225324\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n  start_ms: 228800\n  end_ms: 233880\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 228800\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 229220\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 229340\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 230140\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 230440\n  - text: '(yay, '\n    start_ms: 231900\n  - text: 'yay, '\n    start_ms: 232260\n  - text: 'yay, '\n    start_ms: 232580\n  - text: 'yay, '\n    start_ms: 232710\n  - text: yay)\n    start_ms: 232880\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 233960\n  end_ms: 237090\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 233960\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 234440\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 234560\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 235340\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 235680\nplain: |-\n  Aquarius\n  There's travel in your future\n  When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n  Fill that void in your pathetic life\n  By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n\n  Pisces\n  Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n  You are the true Lord of the dance\n  No matter what those idiots at work say\n\n  Aries\n  The look on your face will be priceless\n  When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n  Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n\n  Taurus\n  You will never find true happiness\n  What you gonna do, cry about it?\n  The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n  Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n\n  Gemini\n  Your birthday party will be ruined\n  Once again by your explosive flatulence\n  Your love life will run into trouble\n  When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n\n  Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n  You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n  Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n\n  Leo\n  Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n  And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n  Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n  Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n\n  Virgo\n  All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n  Expect a big surprise today\n  When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n\n  Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n  The relative position of the planets and the stars\n  Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n  That exclusively applies to only you\n\n  But, let me give you my assurance that\n  These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n  Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n  So you would have to be some kind of moron\n  Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n\n  Where was I?\n\n  Libra\n  A big promotion is just around\n  The corner for someone much more talented than you\n  Laughter is the very best medicine\n  Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n\n  Scorpio, get ready for an\n  Unexpected trip\n  When you fall screaming from an open window\n  Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n\n  Sagittarius\n  All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n  Take down all those naked pictures of\n  Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n\n  Capricorn\n  The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n  But, you know they're lying\n  If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n  And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n"},{"id":6942658,"name":"Your Horoscope for Today","trackName":"Your Horoscope for Today","artistName":"“Weird Al” Yankovic","albumName":"The Essential “Weird Al” Yankovic: Limited Edition 3.0","duration":239.0,"instrumental":false,"hasWordSync":true,"plainLyrics":"Aquarius\nThere's travel in your future\nWhen your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\nFill that void in your pathetic life\nBy playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n\nPisces\nTry to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\nYou are the true Lord of the dance\nNo matter what those idiots at work say\n\nAries\nThe look on your face will be priceless\nWhen you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\nTrade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n\nTaurus\nYou will never find true happiness\nWhat you gonna do, cry about it?\nThe stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\nDo a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n\nGemini\nYour birthday party will be ruined\nOnce again by your explosive flatulence\nYour love life will run into trouble\nWhen your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n\nCancer, the position of Jupiter says that\nYou should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\nTry not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n\nLeo\nNow is not a good time to photocopy your butt\nAnd staple it to your bosses face, oh no\nEat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\nThen wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n\nVirgo\nAll Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\nExpect a big surprise today\nWhen you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\n\nNow you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\nThe relative position of the planets and the stars\nCould have a special deep significance or meaning\nThat exclusively applies to only you\n\nBut, let me give you my assurance that\nThese forecasts and predictions are all based on\nSolid, scientific, documented evidence\nSo you would have to be some kind of moron\nNot to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n\nWhere was I?\n\nLibra\nA big promotion is just around\nThe corner for someone much more talented than you\nLaughter is the very best medicine\nRemember that when your appendix bursts next week\n\nScorpio, get ready for an\nUnexpected trip\nWhen you fall screaming from an open window\nWork a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n\nSagittarius\nAll your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\nTake down all those naked pictures of\nErnest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n\nCapricorn\nThe stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\nBut, you know they're lying\nIf I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\nAnd never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\nThat's your horoscope for today","syncedLyrics":"[00:10.94] Aquarius\n[00:12.19] There's travel in your future\n[00:13.34] When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n[00:17.38] Fill that void in your pathetic life\n[00:19.54] By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n[00:22.24] Pisces\n[00:22.99] Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n[00:27.50] You are the true Lord of the dance\n[00:30.35] No matter what those idiots at work say\n[00:32.24] Aries\n[00:32.71] The look on your face will be priceless\n[00:34.54] When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n[00:38.46] Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n[00:42.55] Taurus\n[00:42.95] You will never find true happiness\n[00:45.30] What you gonna do, cry about it?\n[00:48.07] The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n[00:50.41] Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n[00:53.39] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[00:58.76] That's your horoscope for today\n[01:03.88] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[01:08.97] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[01:12.62] Gemini\n[01:14.03] Your birthday party will be ruined\n[01:16.08] Once again by your explosive flatulence\n[01:18.76] Your love life will run into trouble\n[01:20.94] When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n[01:23.86] Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n[01:26.01] You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n[01:29.66] Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n[01:34.18] Leo\n[01:34.56] Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n[01:37.05] And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n[01:39.63] Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n[01:41.54] Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n[01:44.80] Virgo\n[01:45.38] All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n[01:49.94] Expect a big surprise today\n[01:52.39] When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n[01:55.23] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[02:00.38] That's your horoscope for today\n[02:05.61] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[02:10.77] That's your horoscope for today\n[02:13.96] Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n[02:18.97] The relative position of the planets and the stars\n[02:21.32] Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n[02:23.46] That exclusively applies to only you\n[02:25.14] But, let me give you my assurance that\n[02:26.73] These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n[02:28.44] Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n[02:30.60] So you would have to be some kind of moron\n[02:32.30] Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n[02:35.42] Where was I?\n[02:36.02] Libra\n[02:36.43] A big promotion is just around\n[02:38.39] The corner for someone much more talented than you\n[02:41.39] Laughter is the very best medicine\n[02:43.47] Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n[02:46.35] Scorpio, get ready for an\n[02:47.51] Unexpected trip\n[02:48.93] When you fall screaming from an open window\n[02:51.54] Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n[02:56.46] Sagittarius\n[02:57.29] All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n[03:01.99] Take down all those naked pictures of\n[03:04.00] Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n[03:06.89] Capricorn\n[03:07.56] The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n[03:11.15] But, you know they're lying\n[03:12.40] If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n[03:14.29] And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n[03:17.43] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:22.80] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:27.96] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:33.19] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:38.37] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:43.59] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:48.64] That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n[03:53.60] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:57.11] ","lyricsfile":"version: '1.0'\nmetadata:\n  title: Your Horoscope for Today\n  artist: “Weird Al” Yankovic\n  album: 'The Essential “Weird Al” Yankovic: Limited Edition 3.0'\n  duration_ms: 239000\n  instrumental: false\n  language: en\nlines:\n- text: Aquarius\n  start_ms: 11710\n  end_ms: 12390\n  words:\n  - text: Aquarius\n    start_ms: 11710\n- text: There's travel in your future\n  start_ms: 12470\n  end_ms: 13700\n  words:\n  - text: 'There''s '\n    start_ms: 12470\n  - text: 'travel '\n    start_ms: 12673\n  - text: 'in '\n    start_ms: 13025\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 13173\n  - text: future\n    start_ms: 13284\n- text: When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n  start_ms: 13700\n  end_ms: 17680\n  words:\n  - text: 'When '\n    start_ms: 13700\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 14100\n  - text: 'tongue '\n    start_ms: 14380\n  - text: 'freezes '\n    start_ms: 15000\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 15520\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 15680\n  - text: 'back '\n    start_ms: 15820\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 16060\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 16180\n  - text: 'speeding '\n    start_ms: 16320\n  - text: bus\n    start_ms: 16940\n- text: Fill that void in your pathetic life\n  start_ms: 17750\n  end_ms: 19840\n  words:\n  - text: 'Fill '\n    start_ms: 17750\n  - text: 'that '\n    start_ms: 18030\n  - text: 'void '\n    start_ms: 18330\n  - text: 'in '\n    start_ms: 18690\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 18810\n  - text: 'pathetic '\n    start_ms: 18950\n  - text: life\n    start_ms: 19610\n- text: By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n  start_ms: 19840\n  end_ms: 22550\n  words:\n  - text: 'By '\n    start_ms: 19840\n  - text: 'playing '\n    start_ms: 20059\n  - text: whack-\n    start_ms: 20418\n  - text: a-\n    start_ms: 20617\n  - text: 'mole '\n    start_ms: 20737\n  - text: '17 '\n    start_ms: 21016\n  - text: 'hours '\n    start_ms: 21574\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 21892\n  - text: day\n    start_ms: 22171\n- text: Pisces\n  start_ms: 22550\n  end_ms: 22910\n  words:\n  - text: Pisces\n    start_ms: 22550\n- text: Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n  start_ms: 22970\n  end_ms: 27650\n  words:\n  - text: 'Try '\n    start_ms: 22970\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 23370\n  - text: 'avoid '\n    start_ms: 23570\n  - text: 'any '\n    start_ms: 24050\n  - text: 'Virgos '\n    start_ms: 24290\n  - text: 'or '\n    start_ms: 24670\n  - text: 'Leos '\n    start_ms: 24830\n  - text: 'with '\n    start_ms: 25790\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 25950\n  - text: 'ebola '\n    start_ms: 26130\n  - text: virus\n    start_ms: 26730\n- text: You are the true Lord of the dance\n  start_ms: 27670\n  end_ms: 30440\n  words:\n  - text: 'You '\n    start_ms: 27670\n  - text: 'are '\n    start_ms: 28086\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 28382\n  - text: 'true '\n    start_ms: 28640\n  - text: 'Lord '\n    start_ms: 29312\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 29688\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 29807\n  - text: dance\n    start_ms: 29965\n- text: No matter what those idiots at work say\n  start_ms: 30440\n  end_ms: 32670\n  words:\n  - text: 'No '\n    start_ms: 30440\n  - text: 'matter '\n    start_ms: 30756\n  - text: 'what '\n    start_ms: 31052\n  - text: 'those '\n    start_ms: 31210\n  - text: 'idiots '\n    start_ms: 31427\n  - text: 'at '\n    start_ms: 31881\n  - text: 'work '\n    start_ms: 32019\n  - text: say\n    start_ms: 32295\n- text: Aries\n  start_ms: 32670\n  end_ms: 33060\n  words:\n  - text: Aries\n    start_ms: 32670\n- text: The look on your face will be priceless\n  start_ms: 33070\n  end_ms: 34840\n  words:\n  - text: 'The '\n    start_ms: 33070\n  - text: 'look '\n    start_ms: 33270\n  - text: 'on '\n    start_ms: 33490\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 33630\n  - text: 'face '\n    start_ms: 33770\n  - text: 'will '\n    start_ms: 34090\n  - text: 'be '\n    start_ms: 34250\n  - text: priceless\n    start_ms: 34390\n- text: When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n  start_ms: 34880\n  end_ms: 38430\n  words:\n  - text: 'When '\n    start_ms: 34880\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 35115\n  - text: 'find '\n    start_ms: 35253\n  - text: 'that '\n    start_ms: 35606\n  - text: '40 '\n    start_ms: 35998\n  - text: 'pound '\n    start_ms: 36194\n  - text: 'watermelon '\n    start_ms: 36508\n  - text: 'in '\n    start_ms: 37489\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 37626\n  - text: colon\n    start_ms: 37763\n- text: Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n  start_ms: 38430\n  end_ms: 42720\n  words:\n  - text: 'Trade '\n    start_ms: 38430\n  - text: 'toothbrushes '\n    start_ms: 38910\n  - text: 'with '\n    start_ms: 39730\n  - text: 'an '\n    start_ms: 39890\n  - text: 'albino '\n    start_ms: 40070\n  - text: 'dwarf, '\n    start_ms: 40790\n  - text: 'then '\n    start_ms: 41150\n  - text: 'give '\n    start_ms: 41330\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 41530\n  - text: 'hickey '\n    start_ms: 41610\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 41970\n  - text: 'Meryl '\n    start_ms: 42110\n  - text: Streep\n    start_ms: 42410\n- text: Taurus\n  start_ms: 42730\n  end_ms: 43120\n  words:\n  - text: Taurus\n    start_ms: 42730\n- text: You will never find true happiness\n  start_ms: 43180\n  end_ms: 45740\n  words:\n  - text: 'You '\n    start_ms: 43180\n  - text: 'will '\n    start_ms: 43460\n  - text: 'never '\n    start_ms: 43620\n  - text: 'find '\n    start_ms: 44120\n  - text: 'true '\n    start_ms: 44420\n  - text: happiness\n    start_ms: 44760\n- text: What you gonna do, cry about it?\n  start_ms: 45760\n  end_ms: 48220\n  words:\n  - text: 'What '\n    start_ms: 45760\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 46068\n  - text: 'gonna '\n    start_ms: 46221\n  - text: 'do, '\n    start_ms: 46548\n  - text: 'cry '\n    start_ms: 46817\n  - text: 'about '\n    start_ms: 47240\n  - text: it?\n    start_ms: 47682\n- text: The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n  start_ms: 48220\n  end_ms: 50670\n  words:\n  - text: 'The '\n    start_ms: 48220\n  - text: 'stars '\n    start_ms: 48500\n  - text: 'predict '\n    start_ms: 48880\n  - text: 'tomorrow '\n    start_ms: 49520\n  - text: 'you''ll '\n    start_ms: 49980\n  - text: 'wake '\n    start_ms: 50200\n  - text: up\n    start_ms: 50520\n- text: Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n  start_ms: 50770\n  end_ms: 53720\n  words:\n  - text: 'Do '\n    start_ms: 50770\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 51078\n  - text: 'bunch '\n    start_ms: 51194\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 51541\n  - text: 'stuff '\n    start_ms: 51792\n  - text: 'and '\n    start_ms: 52139\n  - text: 'then '\n    start_ms: 52447\n  - text: 'go '\n    start_ms: 52737\n  - text: 'back '\n    start_ms: 52891\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 53045\n  - text: sleep\n    start_ms: 53180\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 53720\n  end_ms: 58780\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 53720\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 54200\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 54320\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 55100\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 55420\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 55600\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 55980\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 56180\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 56420\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 56760\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 58860\n  end_ms: 64000\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 58860\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 59408\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 59526\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 60289\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 60642\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 64000\n  end_ms: 69030\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 64000\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 64460\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 64600\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 65380\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 65700\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 65880\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 66165\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 66455\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 66680\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 67040\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 69170\n  end_ms: 72630\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 69170\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 69758\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 69895\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 70640\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 70954\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 71562\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 71914\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 72091\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 72297\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 72405\n- text: Gemini\n  start_ms: 72630\n  end_ms: 74210\n  words:\n  - text: Gemini\n    start_ms: 72630\n- text: Your birthday party will be ruined\n  start_ms: 74260\n  end_ms: 76150\n  words:\n  - text: 'Your '\n    start_ms: 74260\n  - text: 'birthday '\n    start_ms: 74540\n  - text: 'party '\n    start_ms: 75040\n  - text: 'will '\n    start_ms: 75520\n  - text: 'be '\n    start_ms: 75680\n  - text: ruined\n    start_ms: 75860\n- text: Once again by your explosive flatulence\n  start_ms: 76160\n  end_ms: 79310\n  words:\n  - text: 'Once '\n    start_ms: 76160\n  - text: 'again '\n    start_ms: 76701\n  - text: 'by '\n    start_ms: 77242\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 77416\n  - text: 'explosive '\n    start_ms: 77532\n  - text: flatulence\n    start_ms: 78150\n- text: Your love life will run into trouble\n  start_ms: 79310\n  end_ms: 81000\n  words:\n  - text: 'Your '\n    start_ms: 79310\n  - text: 'love '\n    start_ms: 79550\n  - text: 'life '\n    start_ms: 79750\n  - text: 'will '\n    start_ms: 79910\n  - text: 'run '\n    start_ms: 80090\n  - text: 'into '\n    start_ms: 80430\n  - text: trouble\n    start_ms: 80670\n- text: When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n  start_ms: 81090\n  end_ms: 83930\n  words:\n  - text: 'When '\n    start_ms: 81090\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 81444\n  - text: 'fiancé '\n    start_ms: 81601\n  - text: 'hurls '\n    start_ms: 82368\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 82721\n  - text: 'javelin '\n    start_ms: 82839\n  - text: 'through '\n    start_ms: 83291\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 83488\n  - text: chest\n    start_ms: 83645\n- text: Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n  start_ms: 83930\n  end_ms: 86190\n  words:\n  - text: 'Cancer, '\n    start_ms: 83930\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 84410\n  - text: 'position '\n    start_ms: 84570\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 85110\n  - text: 'Jupiter '\n    start_ms: 85250\n  - text: 'says '\n    start_ms: 85850\n  - text: that\n    start_ms: 86170\n- text: You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n  start_ms: 86220\n  end_ms: 89770\n  words:\n  - text: 'You '\n    start_ms: 86220\n  - text: 'should '\n    start_ms: 86499\n  - text: 'spend '\n    start_ms: 86699\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 87038\n  - text: 'rest '\n    start_ms: 87217\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 87556\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 87676\n  - text: 'week '\n    start_ms: 87855\n  - text: 'face '\n    start_ms: 88155\n  - text: 'down '\n    start_ms: 88494\n  - text: 'in '\n    start_ms: 88853\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 88972\n  - text: mud\n    start_ms: 89132\n- text: Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n  start_ms: 89770\n  end_ms: 94320\n  words:\n  - text: 'Try '\n    start_ms: 89770\n  - text: 'not '\n    start_ms: 90090\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 90250\n  - text: 'shove '\n    start_ms: 90390\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 90850\n  - text: 'roll '\n    start_ms: 91070\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 91490\n  - text: 'duct '\n    start_ms: 91710\n  - text: 'tape '\n    start_ms: 91990\n  - text: 'up '\n    start_ms: 92230\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 92370\n  - text: 'nose '\n    start_ms: 92510\n  - text: 'while '\n    start_ms: 92810\n  - text: 'taking '\n    start_ms: 93010\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 93490\n  - text: 'driver''s '\n    start_ms: 93610\n  - text: test\n    start_ms: 94110\n- text: Leo\n  start_ms: 94320\n  end_ms: 94630\n  words:\n  - text: Leo\n    start_ms: 94320\n- text: Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n  start_ms: 94630\n  end_ms: 96970\n  words:\n  - text: 'Now '\n    start_ms: 94630\n  - text: 'is '\n    start_ms: 94890\n  - text: 'not '\n    start_ms: 95010\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 95230\n  - text: 'good '\n    start_ms: 95310\n  - text: 'time '\n    start_ms: 95510\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 95810\n  - text: 'photocopy '\n    start_ms: 95950\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 96630\n  - text: butt\n    start_ms: 96810\n- text: And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n  start_ms: 97040\n  end_ms: 99830\n  words:\n  - text: 'And '\n    start_ms: 97040\n  - text: 'staple '\n    start_ms: 97300\n  - text: 'it '\n    start_ms: 97700\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 97820\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 97980\n  - text: 'bosses '\n    start_ms: 98140\n  - text: 'face, '\n    start_ms: 98780\n  - text: 'oh '\n    start_ms: 99140\n  - text: no\n    start_ms: 99420\n- text: Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n  start_ms: 99830\n  end_ms: 101780\n  words:\n  - text: 'Eat '\n    start_ms: 99830\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 100130\n  - text: 'bucket '\n    start_ms: 100250\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 100590\n  - text: tuna-\n    start_ms: 100710\n  - text: 'flavored '\n    start_ms: 101170\n  - text: pudding\n    start_ms: 101530\n- text: Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n  start_ms: 101790\n  end_ms: 105790\n  words:\n  - text: 'Then '\n    start_ms: 101790\n  - text: 'wash '\n    start_ms: 102049\n  - text: 'it '\n    start_ms: 102427\n  - text: 'down '\n    start_ms: 102646\n  - text: 'with '\n    start_ms: 103004\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 103143\n  - text: 'gallon '\n    start_ms: 103283\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 103700\n  - text: 'Strawberry '\n    start_ms: 103899\n  - text: Quik\n    start_ms: 104556\n- text: Virgo\n  start_ms: 105790\n  end_ms: 106100\n  words:\n  - text: Virgo\n    start_ms: 105790\n- text: All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n  start_ms: 106190\n  end_ms: 110260\n  words:\n  - text: 'All '\n    start_ms: 106190\n  - text: 'Virgos '\n    start_ms: 106269\n  - text: 'are '\n    start_ms: 106467\n  - text: 'extremely '\n    start_ms: 106646\n  - text: 'friendly '\n    start_ms: 107220\n  - text: 'and '\n    start_ms: 107953\n  - text: 'intelligent, '\n    start_ms: 108289\n  - text: 'except '\n    start_ms: 109458\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 109755\n  - text: you\n    start_ms: 109953\n- text: Expect a big surprise today\n  start_ms: 110260\n  end_ms: 112460\n  words:\n  - text: 'Expect '\n    start_ms: 110260\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 110957\n  - text: 'big '\n    start_ms: 111096\n  - text: 'surprise '\n    start_ms: 111375\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 112012\n- text: When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n  start_ms: 112460\n  end_ms: 115530\n  words:\n  - text: 'When '\n    start_ms: 112460\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 112836\n  - text: 'wind '\n    start_ms: 112995\n  - text: 'up '\n    start_ms: 113331\n  - text: 'with '\n    start_ms: 113470\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 113609\n  - text: 'head '\n    start_ms: 113747\n  - text: 'impaled '\n    start_ms: 114005\n  - text: 'upon '\n    start_ms: 114599\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 114916\n  - text: stick\n    start_ms: 115035\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 115530\n  end_ms: 120610\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 115530\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 116030\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 116170\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 116970\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 117290\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 117450\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 117750\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 117950\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 118250\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 118790\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 120640\n  end_ms: 125840\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 120640\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 121210\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 121348\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 122114\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 122449\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 125840\n  end_ms: 130920\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 125840\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 126300\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 126440\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 127200\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 127520\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 127680\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 128060\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 128400\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 128500\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 128840\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 130920\n  end_ms: 133910\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 130920\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 131440\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 131540\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 132340\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 132660\n- text: Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n  start_ms: 133970\n  end_ms: 139160\n  words:\n  - text: 'Now '\n    start_ms: 133970\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 135990\n  - text: 'may '\n    start_ms: 136110\n  - text: 'find '\n    start_ms: 136250\n  - text: 'it '\n    start_ms: 136470\n  - text: 'inconceivable '\n    start_ms: 136630\n  - text: 'or '\n    start_ms: 137390\n  - text: 'rather '\n    start_ms: 137550\n  - text: 'very '\n    start_ms: 137870\n  - text: 'least '\n    start_ms: 138170\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 138410\n  - text: 'bit '\n    start_ms: 138510\n  - text: 'unlikely '\n    start_ms: 138710\n  - text: that\n    start_ms: 139110\n- text: The relative position of the planets and the stars\n  start_ms: 139180\n  end_ms: 141410\n  words:\n  - text: 'The '\n    start_ms: 139180\n  - text: 'relative '\n    start_ms: 139475\n  - text: 'position '\n    start_ms: 139966\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 140496\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 140614\n  - text: 'planets '\n    start_ms: 140732\n  - text: 'and '\n    start_ms: 141105\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 141223\n  - text: stars\n    start_ms: 141345\n- text: Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n  start_ms: 141410\n  end_ms: 143440\n  words:\n  - text: 'Could '\n    start_ms: 141410\n  - text: 'have '\n    start_ms: 141727\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 141905\n  - text: 'special '\n    start_ms: 142004\n  - text: 'deep '\n    start_ms: 142321\n  - text: 'significance '\n    start_ms: 142499\n  - text: 'or '\n    start_ms: 143173\n  - text: meaning\n    start_ms: 143291\n- text: That exclusively applies to only you\n  start_ms: 143440\n  end_ms: 145280\n  words:\n  - text: 'That '\n    start_ms: 143440\n  - text: 'exclusively '\n    start_ms: 143780\n  - text: 'applies '\n    start_ms: 144440\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 144780\n  - text: 'only '\n    start_ms: 144960\n  - text: you\n    start_ms: 145220\n- text: But, let me give you my assurance that\n  start_ms: 145300\n  end_ms: 146910\n  words:\n  - text: 'But, '\n    start_ms: 145300\n  - text: 'let '\n    start_ms: 145600\n  - text: 'me '\n    start_ms: 145740\n  - text: 'give '\n    start_ms: 145920\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 146100\n  - text: 'my '\n    start_ms: 146220\n  - text: 'assurance '\n    start_ms: 146440\n  - text: that\n    start_ms: 146840\n- text: These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n  start_ms: 146980\n  end_ms: 148670\n  words:\n  - text: 'These '\n    start_ms: 146980\n  - text: 'forecasts '\n    start_ms: 147235\n  - text: 'and '\n    start_ms: 147589\n  - text: 'predictions '\n    start_ms: 147707\n  - text: 'are '\n    start_ms: 148238\n  - text: 'all '\n    start_ms: 148375\n  - text: 'based '\n    start_ms: 148493\n  - text: on\n    start_ms: 148659\n- text: Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n  start_ms: 148670\n  end_ms: 150770\n  words:\n  - text: 'Solid, '\n    start_ms: 148670\n  - text: 'scientific, '\n    start_ms: 149150\n  - text: 'documented '\n    start_ms: 149790\n  - text: evidence\n    start_ms: 150490\n- text: So you would have to be some kind of moron\n  start_ms: 150770\n  end_ms: 152440\n  words:\n  - text: 'So '\n    start_ms: 150770\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 151110\n  - text: 'would '\n    start_ms: 151230\n  - text: 'have '\n    start_ms: 151390\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 151570\n  - text: 'be '\n    start_ms: 151710\n  - text: 'some '\n    start_ms: 151850\n  - text: 'kind '\n    start_ms: 152030\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 152210\n  - text: moron\n    start_ms: 152330\n- text: Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n  start_ms: 152470\n  end_ms: 155630\n  words:\n  - text: 'Not '\n    start_ms: 152470\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 152860\n  - text: 'realize '\n    start_ms: 153036\n  - text: 'that '\n    start_ms: 153504\n  - text: 'every '\n    start_ms: 153718\n  - text: 'single '\n    start_ms: 153952\n  - text: 'one '\n    start_ms: 154284\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 154460\n  - text: 'them '\n    start_ms: 154596\n  - text: 'is '\n    start_ms: 154772\n  - text: 'absolutely '\n    start_ms: 154967\n  - text: 'true'\n    start_ms: 155513\n- text: Where was I?\n  start_ms: 155630\n  end_ms: 156100\n  words:\n  - text: 'Where '\n    start_ms: 155630\n  - text: 'was '\n    start_ms: 155825\n  - text: I?\n    start_ms: 156020\n- text: Libra\n  start_ms: 156100\n  end_ms: 156450\n  words:\n  - text: Libra\n    start_ms: 156100\n- text: A big promotion is just around\n  start_ms: 156530\n  end_ms: 158500\n  words:\n  - text: 'A '\n    start_ms: 156530\n  - text: 'big '\n    start_ms: 156860\n  - text: 'promotion '\n    start_ms: 157151\n  - text: 'is '\n    start_ms: 157986\n  - text: 'just '\n    start_ms: 158122\n  - text: around\n    start_ms: 158296\n- text: The corner for someone much more talented than you\n  start_ms: 158500\n  end_ms: 161790\n  words:\n  - text: 'The '\n    start_ms: 158500\n  - text: 'corner '\n    start_ms: 158700\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 159200\n  - text: 'someone '\n    start_ms: 159360\n  - text: 'much '\n    start_ms: 159660\n  - text: 'more '\n    start_ms: 159840\n  - text: 'talented '\n    start_ms: 160000\n  - text: 'than '\n    start_ms: 160800\n  - text: you\n    start_ms: 161200\n- text: Laughter is the very best medicine\n  start_ms: 161820\n  end_ms: 163630\n  words:\n  - text: 'Laughter '\n    start_ms: 161820\n  - text: 'is '\n    start_ms: 162351\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 162489\n  - text: 'very '\n    start_ms: 162607\n  - text: 'best '\n    start_ms: 162922\n  - text: medicine\n    start_ms: 163099\n- text: Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n  start_ms: 163630\n  end_ms: 166260\n  words:\n  - text: 'Remember '\n    start_ms: 163630\n  - text: 'that '\n    start_ms: 164230\n  - text: 'when '\n    start_ms: 164410\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 164710\n  - text: 'appendix '\n    start_ms: 164910\n  - text: 'bursts '\n    start_ms: 165650\n  - text: 'next '\n    start_ms: 165930\n  - text: week\n    start_ms: 166170\n- text: Scorpio, get ready for an\n  start_ms: 166340\n  end_ms: 167740\n  words:\n  - text: 'Scorpio, '\n    start_ms: 166340\n  - text: 'get '\n    start_ms: 166982\n  - text: 'ready '\n    start_ms: 167137\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 167448\n  - text: an\n    start_ms: 167662\n- text: Unexpected trip\n  start_ms: 167740\n  end_ms: 169110\n  words:\n  - text: 'Unexpected '\n    start_ms: 167740\n  - text: trip\n    start_ms: 168848\n- text: When you fall screaming from an open window\n  start_ms: 169110\n  end_ms: 171790\n  words:\n  - text: 'When '\n    start_ms: 169110\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 169350\n  - text: 'fall '\n    start_ms: 169470\n  - text: 'screaming '\n    start_ms: 169630\n  - text: 'from '\n    start_ms: 169970\n  - text: 'an '\n    start_ms: 170210\n  - text: 'open '\n    start_ms: 170370\n  - text: window\n    start_ms: 170810\n- text: Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n  start_ms: 171860\n  end_ms: 176770\n  words:\n  - text: 'Work '\n    start_ms: 171860\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 172220\n  - text: 'little '\n    start_ms: 172340\n  - text: 'bit '\n    start_ms: 172640\n  - text: 'harder '\n    start_ms: 172800\n  - text: 'on '\n    start_ms: 173320\n  - text: 'improving '\n    start_ms: 173480\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 173940\n  - text: 'low '\n    start_ms: 174100\n  - text: self-\n    start_ms: 174720\n  - text: 'esteem, '\n    start_ms: 175080\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 175740\n  - text: 'stupid '\n    start_ms: 176020\n  - text: freak\n    start_ms: 176500\n- text: Sagittarius\n  start_ms: 176780\n  end_ms: 177420\n  words:\n  - text: Sagittarius\n    start_ms: 176780\n- text: All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n  start_ms: 177460\n  end_ms: 182190\n  words:\n  - text: 'All '\n    start_ms: 177460\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 177857\n  - text: 'friends '\n    start_ms: 177995\n  - text: 'are '\n    start_ms: 178352\n  - text: 'laughing '\n    start_ms: 178630\n  - text: 'behind '\n    start_ms: 179126\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 179622\n  - text: 'back '\n    start_ms: 179919\n  - text: '(kill '\n    start_ms: 180990\n  - text: them)\n    start_ms: 181684\n- text: Take down all those naked pictures of\n  start_ms: 182190\n  end_ms: 184250\n  words:\n  - text: 'Take '\n    start_ms: 182190\n  - text: 'down '\n    start_ms: 182510\n  - text: 'all '\n    start_ms: 182710\n  - text: 'those '\n    start_ms: 182970\n  - text: 'naked '\n    start_ms: 183150\n  - text: 'pictures '\n    start_ms: 183770\n  - text: of\n    start_ms: 184230\n- text: Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n  start_ms: 184270\n  end_ms: 186940\n  words:\n  - text: 'Ernest '\n    start_ms: 184270\n  - text: 'Borgnine, '\n    start_ms: 185050\n  - text: 'you''ve '\n    start_ms: 185590\n  - text: 'got '\n    start_ms: 185710\n  - text: 'hanging '\n    start_ms: 185870\n  - text: 'in '\n    start_ms: 186450\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 186650\n  - text: den\n    start_ms: 186830\n- text: Capricorn\n  start_ms: 186950\n  end_ms: 187880\n  words:\n  - text: Capricorn\n    start_ms: 186950\n- text: The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n  start_ms: 187880\n  end_ms: 191340\n  words:\n  - text: 'The '\n    start_ms: 187880\n  - text: 'stars '\n    start_ms: 188218\n  - text: 'say '\n    start_ms: 188596\n  - text: 'that '\n    start_ms: 188874\n  - text: 'you''re '\n    start_ms: 189053\n  - text: 'an '\n    start_ms: 189272\n  - text: 'exciting '\n    start_ms: 189411\n  - text: 'and '\n    start_ms: 190028\n  - text: 'wonderful '\n    start_ms: 190187\n  - text: person\n    start_ms: 190803\n- text: But, you know they're lying\n  start_ms: 191340\n  end_ms: 192610\n  words:\n  - text: 'But, '\n    start_ms: 191340\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 191780\n  - text: 'know '\n    start_ms: 191900\n  - text: 'they''re '\n    start_ms: 192060\n  - text: lying\n    start_ms: 192240\n- text: If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n  start_ms: 192620\n  end_ms: 194400\n  words:\n  - text: 'If '\n    start_ms: 192620\n  - text: 'I '\n    start_ms: 192940\n  - text: 'were '\n    start_ms: 193020\n  - text: 'you, '\n    start_ms: 193240\n  - text: 'I''d '\n    start_ms: 193400\n  - text: 'lock '\n    start_ms: 193520\n  - text: 'my '\n    start_ms: 193700\n  - text: 'doors '\n    start_ms: 193840\n  - text: 'and '\n    start_ms: 194040\n  - text: windows\n    start_ms: 194180\n- text: And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n  start_ms: 194420\n  end_ms: 197970\n  words:\n  - text: 'And '\n    start_ms: 194420\n  - text: 'never, '\n    start_ms: 194720\n  - text: 'never, '\n    start_ms: 195200\n  - text: 'never, '\n    start_ms: 195540\n  - text: 'never, '\n    start_ms: 195860\n  - text: 'never '\n    start_ms: 196160\n  - text: 'leave '\n    start_ms: 196420\n  - text: 'my '\n    start_ms: 196620\n  - text: 'house '\n    start_ms: 196860\n  - text: again\n    start_ms: 197160\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 197980\n  end_ms: 203040\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 197980\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 198440\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 198560\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 199360\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 199660\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 199840\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 200220\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 200560\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 200640\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 201160\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 203070\n  end_ms: 208240\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 203070\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 203561\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 203699\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 204485\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 204820\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 208240\n  end_ms: 213280\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 208240\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 208660\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 208800\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 209600\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 209940\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 210080\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 210460\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 210770\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 210920\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 211380\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 213360\n  end_ms: 218550\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 213360\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 213894\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 214032\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 214803\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 215139\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 218550\n  end_ms: 223640\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 218550\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 219027\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 219166\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 219922\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 220240\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 220717\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 222069\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 222348\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 223272\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 223530\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 223640\n  end_ms: 228800\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 223640\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 224096\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 224561\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 224987\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 225324\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n  start_ms: 228800\n  end_ms: 233880\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 228800\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 229220\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 229340\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 230140\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 230440\n  - text: '(yay, '\n    start_ms: 231900\n  - text: 'yay, '\n    start_ms: 232260\n  - text: 'yay, '\n    start_ms: 232580\n  - text: 'yay, '\n    start_ms: 232710\n  - text: yay)\n    start_ms: 232880\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 233960\n  end_ms: 237090\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 233960\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 234440\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 234560\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 235340\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 235680\nplain: |-\n  Aquarius\n  There's travel in your future\n  When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n  Fill that void in your pathetic life\n  By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n\n  Pisces\n  Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n  You are the true Lord of the dance\n  No matter what those idiots at work say\n\n  Aries\n  The look on your face will be priceless\n  When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n  Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n\n  Taurus\n  You will never find true happiness\n  What you gonna do, cry about it?\n  The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n  Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n\n  Gemini\n  Your birthday party will be ruined\n  Once again by your explosive flatulence\n  Your love life will run into trouble\n  When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n\n  Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n  You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n  Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n\n  Leo\n  Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n  And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n  Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n  Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n\n  Virgo\n  All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n  Expect a big surprise today\n  When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n\n  Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n  The relative position of the planets and the stars\n  Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n  That exclusively applies to only you\n\n  But, let me give you my assurance that\n  These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n  Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n  So you would have to be some kind of moron\n  Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n\n  Where was I?\n\n  Libra\n  A big promotion is just around\n  The corner for someone much more talented than you\n  Laughter is the very best medicine\n  Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n\n  Scorpio, get ready for an\n  Unexpected trip\n  When you fall screaming from an open window\n  Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n\n  Sagittarius\n  All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n  Take down all those naked pictures of\n  Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n\n  Capricorn\n  The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n  But, you know they're lying\n  If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n  And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n"},{"id":1075752,"name":"Your Horoscope for Today","trackName":"Your Horoscope for Today","artistName":"'Weird Al' Yankovic","albumName":"Squeeze Box: The Complete Works of “Weird Al” Yankovic","duration":239.0,"instrumental":false,"hasWordSync":true,"plainLyrics":"Aquarius\nThere's travel in your future\nWhen your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\nFill that void in your pathetic life\nBy playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n\nPisces\nTry to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\nYou are the true Lord of the dance\nNo matter what those idiots at work say\n\nAries\nThe look on your face will be priceless\nWhen you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\nTrade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n\nTaurus\nYou will never find true happiness\nWhat you gonna do, cry about it?\nThe stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\nDo a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n\nGemini\nYour birthday party will be ruined\nOnce again by your explosive flatulence\nYour love life will run into trouble\nWhen your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n\nCancer, the position of Jupiter says that\nYou should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\nTry not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n\nLeo\nNow is not a good time to photocopy your butt\nAnd staple it to your bosses face, oh no\nEat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\nThen wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n\nVirgo\nAll Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\nExpect a big surprise today\nWhen you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\n\nNow you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\nThe relative position of the planets and the stars\nCould have a special deep significance or meaning\nThat exclusively applies to only you\n\nBut, let me give you my assurance that\nThese forecasts and predictions are all based on\nSolid, scientific, documented evidence\nSo you would have to be some kind of moron\nNot to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n\nWhere was I?\n\nLibra\nA big promotion is just around\nThe corner for someone much more talented than you\nLaughter is the very best medicine\nRemember that when your appendix bursts next week\n\nScorpio, get ready for an\nUnexpected trip\nWhen you fall screaming from an open window\nWork a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n\nSagittarius\nAll your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\nTake down all those naked pictures of\nErnest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n\nCapricorn\nThe stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\nBut, you know they're lying\nIf I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\nAnd never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\nThat's your horoscope for today","syncedLyrics":"[00:10.94] Aquarius\n[00:12.19] There's travel in your future\n[00:13.34] When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n[00:17.38] Fill that void in your pathetic life\n[00:19.54] By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n[00:22.24] Pisces\n[00:22.99] Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n[00:27.50] You are the true Lord of the dance\n[00:30.35] No matter what those idiots at work say\n[00:32.24] Aries\n[00:32.71] The look on your face will be priceless\n[00:34.54] When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n[00:38.46] Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n[00:42.55] Taurus\n[00:42.95] You will never find true happiness\n[00:45.30] What you gonna do, cry about it?\n[00:48.07] The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n[00:50.41] Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n[00:53.39] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[00:58.76] That's your horoscope for today\n[01:03.88] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[01:08.97] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[01:12.62] Gemini\n[01:14.03] Your birthday party will be ruined\n[01:16.08] Once again by your explosive flatulence\n[01:18.76] Your love life will run into trouble\n[01:20.94] When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n[01:23.86] Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n[01:26.01] You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n[01:29.66] Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n[01:34.18] Leo\n[01:34.56] Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n[01:37.05] And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n[01:39.63] Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n[01:41.54] Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n[01:44.80] Virgo\n[01:45.38] All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n[01:49.94] Expect a big surprise today\n[01:52.39] When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n[01:55.23] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[02:00.38] That's your horoscope for today\n[02:05.61] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[02:10.77] That's your horoscope for today\n[02:13.96] Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n[02:18.97] The relative position of the planets and the stars\n[02:21.32] Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n[02:23.46] That exclusively applies to only you\n[02:25.14] But, let me give you my assurance that\n[02:26.73] These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n[02:28.44] Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n[02:30.60] So you would have to be some kind of moron\n[02:32.30] Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n[02:35.42] Where was I?\n[02:36.02] Libra\n[02:36.43] A big promotion is just around\n[02:38.39] The corner for someone much more talented than you\n[02:41.39] Laughter is the very best medicine\n[02:43.47] Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n[02:46.35] Scorpio, get ready for an\n[02:47.51] Unexpected trip\n[02:48.93] When you fall screaming from an open window\n[02:51.54] Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n[02:56.46] Sagittarius\n[02:57.29] All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n[03:01.99] Take down all those naked pictures of\n[03:04.00] Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n[03:06.89] Capricorn\n[03:07.56] The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n[03:11.15] But, you know they're lying\n[03:12.40] If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n[03:14.29] And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n[03:17.43] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:22.80] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:27.96] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:33.19] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:38.37] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:43.59] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:48.64] That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n[03:53.60] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:57.11] ","lyricsfile":"version: '1.0'\nmetadata:\n  title: Your Horoscope for Today\n  artist: '''Weird Al'' Yankovic'\n  album: 'Squeeze Box: The Complete Works of “Weird Al” Yankovic'\n  duration_ms: 239000\n  instrumental: false\n  language: en\nlines:\n- text: Aquarius\n  start_ms: 11710\n  end_ms: 12390\n  words:\n  - text: Aquarius\n    start_ms: 11710\n- text: There's travel in your future\n  start_ms: 12470\n  end_ms: 13700\n  words:\n  - text: 'There''s '\n    start_ms: 12470\n  - text: 'travel '\n    start_ms: 12673\n  - text: 'in '\n    start_ms: 13025\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 13173\n  - text: future\n    start_ms: 13284\n- text: When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n  start_ms: 13700\n  end_ms: 17680\n  words:\n  - text: 'When '\n    start_ms: 13700\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 14100\n  - text: 'tongue '\n    start_ms: 14380\n  - text: 'freezes '\n    start_ms: 15000\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 15520\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 15680\n  - text: 'back '\n    start_ms: 15820\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 16060\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 16180\n  - text: 'speeding '\n    start_ms: 16320\n  - text: bus\n    start_ms: 16940\n- text: Fill that void in your pathetic life\n  start_ms: 17750\n  end_ms: 19840\n  words:\n  - text: 'Fill '\n    start_ms: 17750\n  - text: 'that '\n    start_ms: 18030\n  - text: 'void '\n    start_ms: 18330\n  - text: 'in '\n    start_ms: 18690\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 18810\n  - text: 'pathetic '\n    start_ms: 18950\n  - text: life\n    start_ms: 19610\n- text: By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n  start_ms: 19840\n  end_ms: 22550\n  words:\n  - text: 'By '\n    start_ms: 19840\n  - text: 'playing '\n    start_ms: 20059\n  - text: whack-\n    start_ms: 20418\n  - text: a-\n    start_ms: 20617\n  - text: 'mole '\n    start_ms: 20737\n  - text: '17 '\n    start_ms: 21016\n  - text: 'hours '\n    start_ms: 21574\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 21892\n  - text: day\n    start_ms: 22171\n- text: Pisces\n  start_ms: 22550\n  end_ms: 22910\n  words:\n  - text: Pisces\n    start_ms: 22550\n- text: Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n  start_ms: 22970\n  end_ms: 27650\n  words:\n  - text: 'Try '\n    start_ms: 22970\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 23370\n  - text: 'avoid '\n    start_ms: 23570\n  - text: 'any '\n    start_ms: 24050\n  - text: 'Virgos '\n    start_ms: 24290\n  - text: 'or '\n    start_ms: 24670\n  - text: 'Leos '\n    start_ms: 24830\n  - text: 'with '\n    start_ms: 25790\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 25950\n  - text: 'ebola '\n    start_ms: 26130\n  - text: virus\n    start_ms: 26730\n- text: You are the true Lord of the dance\n  start_ms: 27670\n  end_ms: 30440\n  words:\n  - text: 'You '\n    start_ms: 27670\n  - text: 'are '\n    start_ms: 28086\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 28382\n  - text: 'true '\n    start_ms: 28640\n  - text: 'Lord '\n    start_ms: 29312\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 29688\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 29807\n  - text: dance\n    start_ms: 29965\n- text: No matter what those idiots at work say\n  start_ms: 30440\n  end_ms: 32670\n  words:\n  - text: 'No '\n    start_ms: 30440\n  - text: 'matter '\n    start_ms: 30756\n  - text: 'what '\n    start_ms: 31052\n  - text: 'those '\n    start_ms: 31210\n  - text: 'idiots '\n    start_ms: 31427\n  - text: 'at '\n    start_ms: 31881\n  - text: 'work '\n    start_ms: 32019\n  - text: say\n    start_ms: 32295\n- text: Aries\n  start_ms: 32670\n  end_ms: 33060\n  words:\n  - text: Aries\n    start_ms: 32670\n- text: The look on your face will be priceless\n  start_ms: 33070\n  end_ms: 34840\n  words:\n  - text: 'The '\n    start_ms: 33070\n  - text: 'look '\n    start_ms: 33270\n  - text: 'on '\n    start_ms: 33490\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 33630\n  - text: 'face '\n    start_ms: 33770\n  - text: 'will '\n    start_ms: 34090\n  - text: 'be '\n    start_ms: 34250\n  - text: priceless\n    start_ms: 34390\n- text: When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n  start_ms: 34880\n  end_ms: 38430\n  words:\n  - text: 'When '\n    start_ms: 34880\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 35115\n  - text: 'find '\n    start_ms: 35253\n  - text: 'that '\n    start_ms: 35606\n  - text: '40 '\n    start_ms: 35998\n  - text: 'pound '\n    start_ms: 36194\n  - text: 'watermelon '\n    start_ms: 36508\n  - text: 'in '\n    start_ms: 37489\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 37626\n  - text: colon\n    start_ms: 37763\n- text: Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n  start_ms: 38430\n  end_ms: 42720\n  words:\n  - text: 'Trade '\n    start_ms: 38430\n  - text: 'toothbrushes '\n    start_ms: 38910\n  - text: 'with '\n    start_ms: 39730\n  - text: 'an '\n    start_ms: 39890\n  - text: 'albino '\n    start_ms: 40070\n  - text: 'dwarf, '\n    start_ms: 40790\n  - text: 'then '\n    start_ms: 41150\n  - text: 'give '\n    start_ms: 41330\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 41530\n  - text: 'hickey '\n    start_ms: 41610\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 41970\n  - text: 'Meryl '\n    start_ms: 42110\n  - text: Streep\n    start_ms: 42410\n- text: Taurus\n  start_ms: 42730\n  end_ms: 43120\n  words:\n  - text: Taurus\n    start_ms: 42730\n- text: You will never find true happiness\n  start_ms: 43180\n  end_ms: 45740\n  words:\n  - text: 'You '\n    start_ms: 43180\n  - text: 'will '\n    start_ms: 43460\n  - text: 'never '\n    start_ms: 43620\n  - text: 'find '\n    start_ms: 44120\n  - text: 'true '\n    start_ms: 44420\n  - text: happiness\n    start_ms: 44760\n- text: What you gonna do, cry about it?\n  start_ms: 45760\n  end_ms: 48220\n  words:\n  - text: 'What '\n    start_ms: 45760\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 46068\n  - text: 'gonna '\n    start_ms: 46221\n  - text: 'do, '\n    start_ms: 46548\n  - text: 'cry '\n    start_ms: 46817\n  - text: 'about '\n    start_ms: 47240\n  - text: it?\n    start_ms: 47682\n- text: The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n  start_ms: 48220\n  end_ms: 50670\n  words:\n  - text: 'The '\n    start_ms: 48220\n  - text: 'stars '\n    start_ms: 48500\n  - text: 'predict '\n    start_ms: 48880\n  - text: 'tomorrow '\n    start_ms: 49520\n  - text: 'you''ll '\n    start_ms: 49980\n  - text: 'wake '\n    start_ms: 50200\n  - text: up\n    start_ms: 50520\n- text: Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n  start_ms: 50770\n  end_ms: 53720\n  words:\n  - text: 'Do '\n    start_ms: 50770\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 51078\n  - text: 'bunch '\n    start_ms: 51194\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 51541\n  - text: 'stuff '\n    start_ms: 51792\n  - text: 'and '\n    start_ms: 52139\n  - text: 'then '\n    start_ms: 52447\n  - text: 'go '\n    start_ms: 52737\n  - text: 'back '\n    start_ms: 52891\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 53045\n  - text: sleep\n    start_ms: 53180\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 53720\n  end_ms: 58780\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 53720\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 54200\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 54320\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 55100\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 55420\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 55600\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 55980\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 56180\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 56420\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 56760\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 58860\n  end_ms: 64000\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 58860\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 59408\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 59526\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 60289\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 60642\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 64000\n  end_ms: 69030\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 64000\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 64460\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 64600\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 65380\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 65700\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 65880\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 66165\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 66455\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 66680\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 67040\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 69170\n  end_ms: 72630\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 69170\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 69758\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 69895\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 70640\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 70954\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 71562\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 71914\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 72091\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 72297\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 72405\n- text: Gemini\n  start_ms: 72630\n  end_ms: 74210\n  words:\n  - text: Gemini\n    start_ms: 72630\n- text: Your birthday party will be ruined\n  start_ms: 74260\n  end_ms: 76150\n  words:\n  - text: 'Your '\n    start_ms: 74260\n  - text: 'birthday '\n    start_ms: 74540\n  - text: 'party '\n    start_ms: 75040\n  - text: 'will '\n    start_ms: 75520\n  - text: 'be '\n    start_ms: 75680\n  - text: ruined\n    start_ms: 75860\n- text: Once again by your explosive flatulence\n  start_ms: 76160\n  end_ms: 79310\n  words:\n  - text: 'Once '\n    start_ms: 76160\n  - text: 'again '\n    start_ms: 76701\n  - text: 'by '\n    start_ms: 77242\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 77416\n  - text: 'explosive '\n    start_ms: 77532\n  - text: flatulence\n    start_ms: 78150\n- text: Your love life will run into trouble\n  start_ms: 79310\n  end_ms: 81000\n  words:\n  - text: 'Your '\n    start_ms: 79310\n  - text: 'love '\n    start_ms: 79550\n  - text: 'life '\n    start_ms: 79750\n  - text: 'will '\n    start_ms: 79910\n  - text: 'run '\n    start_ms: 80090\n  - text: 'into '\n    start_ms: 80430\n  - text: trouble\n    start_ms: 80670\n- text: When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n  start_ms: 81090\n  end_ms: 83930\n  words:\n  - text: 'When '\n    start_ms: 81090\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 81444\n  - text: 'fiancé '\n    start_ms: 81601\n  - text: 'hurls '\n    start_ms: 82368\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 82721\n  - text: 'javelin '\n    start_ms: 82839\n  - text: 'through '\n    start_ms: 83291\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 83488\n  - text: chest\n    start_ms: 83645\n- text: Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n  start_ms: 83930\n  end_ms: 86190\n  words:\n  - text: 'Cancer, '\n    start_ms: 83930\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 84410\n  - text: 'position '\n    start_ms: 84570\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 85110\n  - text: 'Jupiter '\n    start_ms: 85250\n  - text: 'says '\n    start_ms: 85850\n  - text: that\n    start_ms: 86170\n- text: You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n  start_ms: 86220\n  end_ms: 89770\n  words:\n  - text: 'You '\n    start_ms: 86220\n  - text: 'should '\n    start_ms: 86499\n  - text: 'spend '\n    start_ms: 86699\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 87038\n  - text: 'rest '\n    start_ms: 87217\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 87556\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 87676\n  - text: 'week '\n    start_ms: 87855\n  - text: 'face '\n    start_ms: 88155\n  - text: 'down '\n    start_ms: 88494\n  - text: 'in '\n    start_ms: 88853\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 88972\n  - text: mud\n    start_ms: 89132\n- text: Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n  start_ms: 89770\n  end_ms: 94320\n  words:\n  - text: 'Try '\n    start_ms: 89770\n  - text: 'not '\n    start_ms: 90090\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 90250\n  - text: 'shove '\n    start_ms: 90390\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 90850\n  - text: 'roll '\n    start_ms: 91070\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 91490\n  - text: 'duct '\n    start_ms: 91710\n  - text: 'tape '\n    start_ms: 91990\n  - text: 'up '\n    start_ms: 92230\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 92370\n  - text: 'nose '\n    start_ms: 92510\n  - text: 'while '\n    start_ms: 92810\n  - text: 'taking '\n    start_ms: 93010\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 93490\n  - text: 'driver''s '\n    start_ms: 93610\n  - text: test\n    start_ms: 94110\n- text: Leo\n  start_ms: 94320\n  end_ms: 94630\n  words:\n  - text: Leo\n    start_ms: 94320\n- text: Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n  start_ms: 94630\n  end_ms: 96970\n  words:\n  - text: 'Now '\n    start_ms: 94630\n  - text: 'is '\n    start_ms: 94890\n  - text: 'not '\n    start_ms: 95010\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 95230\n  - text: 'good '\n    start_ms: 95310\n  - text: 'time '\n    start_ms: 95510\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 95810\n  - text: 'photocopy '\n    start_ms: 95950\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 96630\n  - text: butt\n    start_ms: 96810\n- text: And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n  start_ms: 97040\n  end_ms: 99830\n  words:\n  - text: 'And '\n    start_ms: 97040\n  - text: 'staple '\n    start_ms: 97300\n  - text: 'it '\n    start_ms: 97700\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 97820\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 97980\n  - text: 'bosses '\n    start_ms: 98140\n  - text: 'face, '\n    start_ms: 98780\n  - text: 'oh '\n    start_ms: 99140\n  - text: no\n    start_ms: 99420\n- text: Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n  start_ms: 99830\n  end_ms: 101780\n  words:\n  - text: 'Eat '\n    start_ms: 99830\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 100130\n  - text: 'bucket '\n    start_ms: 100250\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 100590\n  - text: tuna-\n    start_ms: 100710\n  - text: 'flavored '\n    start_ms: 101170\n  - text: pudding\n    start_ms: 101530\n- text: Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n  start_ms: 101790\n  end_ms: 105790\n  words:\n  - text: 'Then '\n    start_ms: 101790\n  - text: 'wash '\n    start_ms: 102049\n  - text: 'it '\n    start_ms: 102427\n  - text: 'down '\n    start_ms: 102646\n  - text: 'with '\n    start_ms: 103004\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 103143\n  - text: 'gallon '\n    start_ms: 103283\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 103700\n  - text: 'Strawberry '\n    start_ms: 103899\n  - text: Quik\n    start_ms: 104556\n- text: Virgo\n  start_ms: 105790\n  end_ms: 106100\n  words:\n  - text: Virgo\n    start_ms: 105790\n- text: All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n  start_ms: 106190\n  end_ms: 110260\n  words:\n  - text: 'All '\n    start_ms: 106190\n  - text: 'Virgos '\n    start_ms: 106269\n  - text: 'are '\n    start_ms: 106467\n  - text: 'extremely '\n    start_ms: 106646\n  - text: 'friendly '\n    start_ms: 107220\n  - text: 'and '\n    start_ms: 107953\n  - text: 'intelligent, '\n    start_ms: 108289\n  - text: 'except '\n    start_ms: 109458\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 109755\n  - text: you\n    start_ms: 109953\n- text: Expect a big surprise today\n  start_ms: 110260\n  end_ms: 112460\n  words:\n  - text: 'Expect '\n    start_ms: 110260\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 110957\n  - text: 'big '\n    start_ms: 111096\n  - text: 'surprise '\n    start_ms: 111375\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 112012\n- text: When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n  start_ms: 112460\n  end_ms: 115530\n  words:\n  - text: 'When '\n    start_ms: 112460\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 112836\n  - text: 'wind '\n    start_ms: 112995\n  - text: 'up '\n    start_ms: 113331\n  - text: 'with '\n    start_ms: 113470\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 113609\n  - text: 'head '\n    start_ms: 113747\n  - text: 'impaled '\n    start_ms: 114005\n  - text: 'upon '\n    start_ms: 114599\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 114916\n  - text: stick\n    start_ms: 115035\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 115530\n  end_ms: 120610\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 115530\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 116030\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 116170\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 116970\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 117290\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 117450\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 117750\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 117950\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 118250\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 118790\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 120640\n  end_ms: 125840\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 120640\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 121210\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 121348\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 122114\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 122449\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 125840\n  end_ms: 130920\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 125840\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 126300\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 126440\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 127200\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 127520\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 127680\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 128060\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 128400\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 128500\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 128840\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 130920\n  end_ms: 133910\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 130920\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 131440\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 131540\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 132340\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 132660\n- text: Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n  start_ms: 133970\n  end_ms: 139160\n  words:\n  - text: 'Now '\n    start_ms: 133970\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 135990\n  - text: 'may '\n    start_ms: 136110\n  - text: 'find '\n    start_ms: 136250\n  - text: 'it '\n    start_ms: 136470\n  - text: 'inconceivable '\n    start_ms: 136630\n  - text: 'or '\n    start_ms: 137390\n  - text: 'rather '\n    start_ms: 137550\n  - text: 'very '\n    start_ms: 137870\n  - text: 'least '\n    start_ms: 138170\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 138410\n  - text: 'bit '\n    start_ms: 138510\n  - text: 'unlikely '\n    start_ms: 138710\n  - text: that\n    start_ms: 139110\n- text: The relative position of the planets and the stars\n  start_ms: 139180\n  end_ms: 141410\n  words:\n  - text: 'The '\n    start_ms: 139180\n  - text: 'relative '\n    start_ms: 139475\n  - text: 'position '\n    start_ms: 139966\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 140496\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 140614\n  - text: 'planets '\n    start_ms: 140732\n  - text: 'and '\n    start_ms: 141105\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 141223\n  - text: stars\n    start_ms: 141345\n- text: Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n  start_ms: 141410\n  end_ms: 143440\n  words:\n  - text: 'Could '\n    start_ms: 141410\n  - text: 'have '\n    start_ms: 141727\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 141905\n  - text: 'special '\n    start_ms: 142004\n  - text: 'deep '\n    start_ms: 142321\n  - text: 'significance '\n    start_ms: 142499\n  - text: 'or '\n    start_ms: 143173\n  - text: meaning\n    start_ms: 143291\n- text: That exclusively applies to only you\n  start_ms: 143440\n  end_ms: 145280\n  words:\n  - text: 'That '\n    start_ms: 143440\n  - text: 'exclusively '\n    start_ms: 143780\n  - text: 'applies '\n    start_ms: 144440\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 144780\n  - text: 'only '\n    start_ms: 144960\n  - text: you\n    start_ms: 145220\n- text: But, let me give you my assurance that\n  start_ms: 145300\n  end_ms: 146910\n  words:\n  - text: 'But, '\n    start_ms: 145300\n  - text: 'let '\n    start_ms: 145600\n  - text: 'me '\n    start_ms: 145740\n  - text: 'give '\n    start_ms: 145920\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 146100\n  - text: 'my '\n    start_ms: 146220\n  - text: 'assurance '\n    start_ms: 146440\n  - text: that\n    start_ms: 146840\n- text: These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n  start_ms: 146980\n  end_ms: 148670\n  words:\n  - text: 'These '\n    start_ms: 146980\n  - text: 'forecasts '\n    start_ms: 147235\n  - text: 'and '\n    start_ms: 147589\n  - text: 'predictions '\n    start_ms: 147707\n  - text: 'are '\n    start_ms: 148238\n  - text: 'all '\n    start_ms: 148375\n  - text: 'based '\n    start_ms: 148493\n  - text: on\n    start_ms: 148659\n- text: Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n  start_ms: 148670\n  end_ms: 150770\n  words:\n  - text: 'Solid, '\n    start_ms: 148670\n  - text: 'scientific, '\n    start_ms: 149150\n  - text: 'documented '\n    start_ms: 149790\n  - text: evidence\n    start_ms: 150490\n- text: So you would have to be some kind of moron\n  start_ms: 150770\n  end_ms: 152440\n  words:\n  - text: 'So '\n    start_ms: 150770\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 151110\n  - text: 'would '\n    start_ms: 151230\n  - text: 'have '\n    start_ms: 151390\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 151570\n  - text: 'be '\n    start_ms: 151710\n  - text: 'some '\n    start_ms: 151850\n  - text: 'kind '\n    start_ms: 152030\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 152210\n  - text: moron\n    start_ms: 152330\n- text: Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n  start_ms: 152470\n  end_ms: 155630\n  words:\n  - text: 'Not '\n    start_ms: 152470\n  - text: 'to '\n    start_ms: 152860\n  - text: 'realize '\n    start_ms: 153036\n  - text: 'that '\n    start_ms: 153504\n  - text: 'every '\n    start_ms: 153718\n  - text: 'single '\n    start_ms: 153952\n  - text: 'one '\n    start_ms: 154284\n  - text: 'of '\n    start_ms: 154460\n  - text: 'them '\n    start_ms: 154596\n  - text: 'is '\n    start_ms: 154772\n  - text: 'absolutely '\n    start_ms: 154967\n  - text: 'true'\n    start_ms: 155513\n- text: Where was I?\n  start_ms: 155630\n  end_ms: 156100\n  words:\n  - text: 'Where '\n    start_ms: 155630\n  - text: 'was '\n    start_ms: 155825\n  - text: I?\n    start_ms: 156020\n- text: Libra\n  start_ms: 156100\n  end_ms: 156450\n  words:\n  - text: Libra\n    start_ms: 156100\n- text: A big promotion is just around\n  start_ms: 156530\n  end_ms: 158500\n  words:\n  - text: 'A '\n    start_ms: 156530\n  - text: 'big '\n    start_ms: 156860\n  - text: 'promotion '\n    start_ms: 157151\n  - text: 'is '\n    start_ms: 157986\n  - text: 'just '\n    start_ms: 158122\n  - text: around\n    start_ms: 158296\n- text: The corner for someone much more talented than you\n  start_ms: 158500\n  end_ms: 161790\n  words:\n  - text: 'The '\n    start_ms: 158500\n  - text: 'corner '\n    start_ms: 158700\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 159200\n  - text: 'someone '\n    start_ms: 159360\n  - text: 'much '\n    start_ms: 159660\n  - text: 'more '\n    start_ms: 159840\n  - text: 'talented '\n    start_ms: 160000\n  - text: 'than '\n    start_ms: 160800\n  - text: you\n    start_ms: 161200\n- text: Laughter is the very best medicine\n  start_ms: 161820\n  end_ms: 163630\n  words:\n  - text: 'Laughter '\n    start_ms: 161820\n  - text: 'is '\n    start_ms: 162351\n  - text: 'the '\n    start_ms: 162489\n  - text: 'very '\n    start_ms: 162607\n  - text: 'best '\n    start_ms: 162922\n  - text: medicine\n    start_ms: 163099\n- text: Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n  start_ms: 163630\n  end_ms: 166260\n  words:\n  - text: 'Remember '\n    start_ms: 163630\n  - text: 'that '\n    start_ms: 164230\n  - text: 'when '\n    start_ms: 164410\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 164710\n  - text: 'appendix '\n    start_ms: 164910\n  - text: 'bursts '\n    start_ms: 165650\n  - text: 'next '\n    start_ms: 165930\n  - text: week\n    start_ms: 166170\n- text: Scorpio, get ready for an\n  start_ms: 166340\n  end_ms: 167740\n  words:\n  - text: 'Scorpio, '\n    start_ms: 166340\n  - text: 'get '\n    start_ms: 166982\n  - text: 'ready '\n    start_ms: 167137\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 167448\n  - text: an\n    start_ms: 167662\n- text: Unexpected trip\n  start_ms: 167740\n  end_ms: 169110\n  words:\n  - text: 'Unexpected '\n    start_ms: 167740\n  - text: trip\n    start_ms: 168848\n- text: When you fall screaming from an open window\n  start_ms: 169110\n  end_ms: 171790\n  words:\n  - text: 'When '\n    start_ms: 169110\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 169350\n  - text: 'fall '\n    start_ms: 169470\n  - text: 'screaming '\n    start_ms: 169630\n  - text: 'from '\n    start_ms: 169970\n  - text: 'an '\n    start_ms: 170210\n  - text: 'open '\n    start_ms: 170370\n  - text: window\n    start_ms: 170810\n- text: Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n  start_ms: 171860\n  end_ms: 176770\n  words:\n  - text: 'Work '\n    start_ms: 171860\n  - text: 'a '\n    start_ms: 172220\n  - text: 'little '\n    start_ms: 172340\n  - text: 'bit '\n    start_ms: 172640\n  - text: 'harder '\n    start_ms: 172800\n  - text: 'on '\n    start_ms: 173320\n  - text: 'improving '\n    start_ms: 173480\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 173940\n  - text: 'low '\n    start_ms: 174100\n  - text: self-\n    start_ms: 174720\n  - text: 'esteem, '\n    start_ms: 175080\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 175740\n  - text: 'stupid '\n    start_ms: 176020\n  - text: freak\n    start_ms: 176500\n- text: Sagittarius\n  start_ms: 176780\n  end_ms: 177420\n  words:\n  - text: Sagittarius\n    start_ms: 176780\n- text: All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n  start_ms: 177460\n  end_ms: 182190\n  words:\n  - text: 'All '\n    start_ms: 177460\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 177857\n  - text: 'friends '\n    start_ms: 177995\n  - text: 'are '\n    start_ms: 178352\n  - text: 'laughing '\n    start_ms: 178630\n  - text: 'behind '\n    start_ms: 179126\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 179622\n  - text: 'back '\n    start_ms: 179919\n  - text: '(kill '\n    start_ms: 180990\n  - text: them)\n    start_ms: 181684\n- text: Take down all those naked pictures of\n  start_ms: 182190\n  end_ms: 184250\n  words:\n  - text: 'Take '\n    start_ms: 182190\n  - text: 'down '\n    start_ms: 182510\n  - text: 'all '\n    start_ms: 182710\n  - text: 'those '\n    start_ms: 182970\n  - text: 'naked '\n    start_ms: 183150\n  - text: 'pictures '\n    start_ms: 183770\n  - text: of\n    start_ms: 184230\n- text: Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n  start_ms: 184270\n  end_ms: 186940\n  words:\n  - text: 'Ernest '\n    start_ms: 184270\n  - text: 'Borgnine, '\n    start_ms: 185050\n  - text: 'you''ve '\n    start_ms: 185590\n  - text: 'got '\n    start_ms: 185710\n  - text: 'hanging '\n    start_ms: 185870\n  - text: 'in '\n    start_ms: 186450\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 186650\n  - text: den\n    start_ms: 186830\n- text: Capricorn\n  start_ms: 186950\n  end_ms: 187880\n  words:\n  - text: Capricorn\n    start_ms: 186950\n- text: The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n  start_ms: 187880\n  end_ms: 191340\n  words:\n  - text: 'The '\n    start_ms: 187880\n  - text: 'stars '\n    start_ms: 188218\n  - text: 'say '\n    start_ms: 188596\n  - text: 'that '\n    start_ms: 188874\n  - text: 'you''re '\n    start_ms: 189053\n  - text: 'an '\n    start_ms: 189272\n  - text: 'exciting '\n    start_ms: 189411\n  - text: 'and '\n    start_ms: 190028\n  - text: 'wonderful '\n    start_ms: 190187\n  - text: person\n    start_ms: 190803\n- text: But, you know they're lying\n  start_ms: 191340\n  end_ms: 192610\n  words:\n  - text: 'But, '\n    start_ms: 191340\n  - text: 'you '\n    start_ms: 191780\n  - text: 'know '\n    start_ms: 191900\n  - text: 'they''re '\n    start_ms: 192060\n  - text: lying\n    start_ms: 192240\n- text: If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n  start_ms: 192620\n  end_ms: 194400\n  words:\n  - text: 'If '\n    start_ms: 192620\n  - text: 'I '\n    start_ms: 192940\n  - text: 'were '\n    start_ms: 193020\n  - text: 'you, '\n    start_ms: 193240\n  - text: 'I''d '\n    start_ms: 193400\n  - text: 'lock '\n    start_ms: 193520\n  - text: 'my '\n    start_ms: 193700\n  - text: 'doors '\n    start_ms: 193840\n  - text: 'and '\n    start_ms: 194040\n  - text: windows\n    start_ms: 194180\n- text: And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n  start_ms: 194420\n  end_ms: 197970\n  words:\n  - text: 'And '\n    start_ms: 194420\n  - text: 'never, '\n    start_ms: 194720\n  - text: 'never, '\n    start_ms: 195200\n  - text: 'never, '\n    start_ms: 195540\n  - text: 'never, '\n    start_ms: 195860\n  - text: 'never '\n    start_ms: 196160\n  - text: 'leave '\n    start_ms: 196420\n  - text: 'my '\n    start_ms: 196620\n  - text: 'house '\n    start_ms: 196860\n  - text: again\n    start_ms: 197160\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 197980\n  end_ms: 203040\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 197980\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 198440\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 198560\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 199360\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 199660\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 199840\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 200220\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 200560\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 200640\n  - text: today)\n    start_ms: 201160\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 203070\n  end_ms: 208240\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 203070\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 203561\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 203699\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 204485\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 204820\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 208240\n  end_ms: 213280\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 208240\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 208660\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 208800\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 209600\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 209940\n  - text: '(that''s '\n    start_ms: 210080\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 210460\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 210770\n  - 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228800\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 223640\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 224096\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 224561\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 224987\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 225324\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n  start_ms: 228800\n  end_ms: 233880\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 228800\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 229220\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 229340\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 230140\n  - text: 'today '\n    start_ms: 230440\n  - text: '(yay, '\n    start_ms: 231900\n  - text: 'yay, '\n    start_ms: 232260\n  - text: 'yay, '\n    start_ms: 232580\n  - text: 'yay, '\n    start_ms: 232710\n  - text: yay)\n    start_ms: 232880\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 233960\n  end_ms: 237090\n  words:\n  - text: 'That''s '\n    start_ms: 233960\n  - text: 'your '\n    start_ms: 234440\n  - text: 'horoscope '\n    start_ms: 234560\n  - text: 'for '\n    start_ms: 235340\n  - text: today\n    start_ms: 235680\nplain: |-\n  Aquarius\n  There's travel in your future\n  When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n  Fill that void in your pathetic life\n  By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n\n  Pisces\n  Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n  You are the true Lord of the dance\n  No matter what those idiots at work say\n\n  Aries\n  The look on your face will be priceless\n  When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n  Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n\n  Taurus\n  You will never find true happiness\n  What you gonna do, cry about it?\n  The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n  Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n\n  Gemini\n  Your birthday party will be ruined\n  Once again by your explosive flatulence\n  Your love life will run into trouble\n  When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n\n  Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n  You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n  Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n\n  Leo\n  Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n  And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n  Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n  Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n\n  Virgo\n  All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n  Expect a big surprise today\n  When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n\n  Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n  The relative position of the planets and the stars\n  Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n  That exclusively applies to only you\n\n  But, let me give you my assurance that\n  These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n  Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n  So you would have to be some kind of moron\n  Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n\n  Where was I?\n\n  Libra\n  A big promotion is just around\n  The corner for someone much more talented than you\n  Laughter is the very best medicine\n  Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n\n  Scorpio, get ready for an\n  Unexpected trip\n  When you fall screaming from an open window\n  Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n\n  Sagittarius\n  All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n  Take down all those naked pictures of\n  Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n\n  Capricorn\n  The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n  But, you know they're lying\n  If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n  And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n"},{"id":17979622,"name":"Your Horoscope For Today","trackName":"Your Horoscope For Today","artistName":"Weird Al Yankovic","albumName":"The Essential Weird Al Yankovic 3.0 [Disc 2]","duration":240.746667,"instrumental":false,"hasWordSync":false,"plainLyrics":"Aquarius\nThere's travel in your future\nWhen your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\nFill that void in your pathetic life\nBy playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n\nPisces\nTry to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\nYou are the true Lord of the dance\nNo matter what those idiots at work say\n\nAries\nThe look on your face will be priceless\nWhen you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\nTrade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n\nTaurus\nYou will never find true happiness\nWhat you gonna do, cry about it?\nThe stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\nDo a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n\nGemini\nYour birthday party will be ruined\nOnce again by your explosive flatulence\nYour love life will run into trouble\nWhen your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n\nCancer, the position of Jupiter says that\nYou should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\nTry not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n\nLeo\nNow is not a good time to photocopy your butt\nAnd staple it to your bosses face, oh no\nEat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\nThen wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n\nVirgo\nAll Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\nExpect a big surprise today\nWhen you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\n\nNow you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\nThe relative position of the planets and the stars\nCould have a special deep significance or meaning\nThat exclusively applies to only you\n\nBut, let me give you my assurance that\nThese forecasts and predictions are all based on\nSolid, scientific, documented evidence\nSo you would have to be some kind of moron\nNot to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n\nWhere was I?\n\nLibra\nA big promotion is just around\nThe corner for someone much more talented than you\nLaughter is the very best medicine\nRemember that when your appendix bursts next week\n\nScorpio, get ready for an\nUnexpected trip\nWhen you fall screaming from an open window\nWork a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n\nSagittarius\nAll your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\nTake down all those naked pictures of\nErnest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n\nCapricorn\nThe stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\nBut, you know they're lying\nIf I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\nAnd never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\nThat's your horoscope for today","syncedLyrics":null,"lyricsfile":"version: '1.0'\nmetadata:\n  title: Your Horoscope For Today\n  artist: Weird Al Yankovic\n  album: The Essential Weird Al Yankovic 3.0 [Disc 2]\n  duration_ms: 240747\n  instrumental: false\nlines: []\nplain: |-\n  Aquarius\n  There's travel in your future\n  When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n  Fill that void in your pathetic life\n  By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n\n  Pisces\n  Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n  You are the true Lord of the dance\n  No matter what those idiots at work say\n\n  Aries\n  The look on your face will be priceless\n  When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n  Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n\n  Taurus\n  You will never find true happiness\n  What you gonna do, cry about it?\n  The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n  Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n\n  Gemini\n  Your birthday party will be ruined\n  Once again by your explosive flatulence\n  Your love life will run into trouble\n  When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n\n  Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n  You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n  Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n\n  Leo\n  Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n  And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n  Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n  Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n\n  Virgo\n  All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n  Expect a big surprise today\n  When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n\n  Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n  The relative position of the planets and the stars\n  Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n  That exclusively applies to only you\n\n  But, let me give you my assurance that\n  These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n  Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n  So you would have to be some kind of moron\n  Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n\n  Where was I?\n\n  Libra\n  A big promotion is just around\n  The corner for someone much more talented than you\n  Laughter is the very best medicine\n  Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n\n  Scorpio, get ready for an\n  Unexpected trip\n  When you fall screaming from an open window\n  Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n\n  Sagittarius\n  All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n  Take down all those naked pictures of\n  Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n\n  Capricorn\n  The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n  But, you know they're lying\n  If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n  And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n"},{"id":26712141,"name":"Your Horoscope for Today","trackName":"Your Horoscope for Today","artistName":"“Weird Al” Yankovic","albumName":"Squeeze Box: The Complete Works of “Weird Al” Yankovic","duration":243.168,"instrumental":false,"hasWordSync":false,"plainLyrics":"Aquarius\nThere's travel in your future\nWhen your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\nFill that void in your pathetic life\nBy playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n\nPisces\nTry to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\nYou are the true Lord of the dance\nNo matter what those idiots at work say\n\nAries\nThe look on your face will be priceless\nWhen you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\nTrade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n\nTaurus\nYou will never find true happiness\nWhat you gonna do, cry about it?\nThe stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\nDo a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n\nGemini\nYour birthday party will be ruined\nOnce again by your explosive flatulence\nYour love life will run into trouble\nWhen your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n\nCancer, the position of Jupiter says that\nYou should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\nTry not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n\nLeo\nNow is not a good time to photocopy your butt\nAnd staple it to your bosses face, oh no\nEat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\nThen wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n\nVirgo\nAll Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\nExpect a big surprise today\nWhen you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\n\nNow you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\nThe relative position of the planets and the stars\nCould have a special deep significance or meaning\nThat exclusively applies to only you\n\nBut, let me give you my assurance that\nThese forecasts and predictions are all based on\nSolid, scientific, documented evidence\nSo you would have to be some kind of moron\nNot to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n\nWhere was I?\n\nLibra\nA big promotion is just around\nThe corner for someone much more talented than you\nLaughter is the very best medicine\nRemember that when your appendix bursts next week\n\nScorpio, get ready for an\nUnexpected trip\nWhen you fall screaming from an open window\nWork a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n\nSagittarius\nAll your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\nTake down all those naked pictures of\nErnest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n\nCapricorn\nThe stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\nBut, you know they're lying\nIf I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\nAnd never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\nThat's your horoscope for today","syncedLyrics":"[00:10.94] Aquarius\n[00:12.19] There's travel in your future\n[00:13.34] When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n[00:17.38] Fill that void in your pathetic life\n[00:19.54] By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n[00:22.24] Pisces\n[00:22.99] Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n[00:27.50] You are the true Lord of the dance\n[00:30.35] No matter what those idiots at work say\n[00:32.24] Aries\n[00:32.71] The look on your face will be priceless\n[00:34.54] When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n[00:38.46] Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n[00:42.55] Taurus\n[00:42.95] You will never find true happiness\n[00:45.30] What you gonna do, cry about it?\n[00:48.07] The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n[00:50.41] Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n[00:53.39] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[00:58.76] That's your horoscope for today\n[01:03.88] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[01:08.97] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[01:12.62] Gemini\n[01:14.03] Your birthday party will be ruined\n[01:16.08] Once again by your explosive flatulence\n[01:18.76] Your love life will run into trouble\n[01:20.94] When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n[01:23.86] Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n[01:26.01] You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n[01:29.66] Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n[01:34.18] Leo\n[01:34.56] Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n[01:37.05] And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n[01:39.63] Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n[01:41.54] Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n[01:44.80] Virgo\n[01:45.38] All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n[01:49.94] Expect a big surprise today\n[01:52.39] When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n[01:55.23] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[02:00.38] That's your horoscope for today\n[02:05.61] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[02:10.77] That's your horoscope for today\n[02:13.96] Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n[02:18.97] The relative position of the planets and the stars\n[02:21.32] Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n[02:23.46] That exclusively applies to only you\n[02:25.14] But, let me give you my assurance that\n[02:26.73] These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n[02:28.44] Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n[02:30.60] So you would have to be some kind of moron\n[02:32.30] Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n[02:35.42] Where was I?\n[02:36.02] Libra\n[02:36.43] A big promotion is just around\n[02:38.39] The corner for someone much more talented than you\n[02:41.39] Laughter is the very best medicine\n[02:43.47] Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n[02:46.35] Scorpio, get ready for an\n[02:47.51] Unexpected trip\n[02:48.93] When you fall screaming from an open window\n[02:51.54] Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n[02:56.46] Sagittarius\n[02:57.29] All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n[03:01.99] Take down all those naked pictures of\n[03:04.00] Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n[03:06.89] Capricorn\n[03:07.56] The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n[03:11.15] But, you know they're lying\n[03:12.40] If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n[03:14.29] And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n[03:17.43] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:22.80] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:27.96] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:33.19] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:38.37] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:43.59] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:48.64] That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n[03:53.60] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:57.11] ","lyricsfile":"version: '1.0'\nmetadata:\n  title: Your Horoscope for Today\n  artist: “Weird Al” Yankovic\n  album: 'Squeeze Box: The Complete Works of “Weird Al” Yankovic'\n  duration_ms: 243168\n  instrumental: false\nlines:\n- text: Aquarius\n  start_ms: 10940\n  end_ms: 12190\n- text: There's travel in your future\n  start_ms: 12190\n  end_ms: 13340\n- text: When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n  start_ms: 13340\n  end_ms: 17380\n- text: Fill that void in your pathetic life\n  start_ms: 17380\n  end_ms: 19540\n- text: By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n  start_ms: 19540\n  end_ms: 22240\n- text: Pisces\n  start_ms: 22240\n  end_ms: 22990\n- text: Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n  start_ms: 22990\n  end_ms: 27500\n- text: You are the true Lord of the dance\n  start_ms: 27500\n  end_ms: 30350\n- text: No matter what those idiots at work say\n  start_ms: 30350\n  end_ms: 32240\n- text: Aries\n  start_ms: 32240\n  end_ms: 32710\n- text: The look on your face will be priceless\n  start_ms: 32710\n  end_ms: 34540\n- text: When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n  start_ms: 34540\n  end_ms: 38460\n- text: Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n  start_ms: 38460\n  end_ms: 42550\n- text: Taurus\n  start_ms: 42550\n  end_ms: 42950\n- text: You will never find true happiness\n  start_ms: 42950\n  end_ms: 45300\n- text: What you gonna do, cry about it?\n  start_ms: 45300\n  end_ms: 48070\n- text: The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n  start_ms: 48070\n  end_ms: 50410\n- text: Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n  start_ms: 50410\n  end_ms: 53390\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 53390\n  end_ms: 58760\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 58760\n  end_ms: 63880\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 63880\n  end_ms: 68970\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 68970\n  end_ms: 72620\n- text: Gemini\n  start_ms: 72620\n  end_ms: 74030\n- text: Your birthday party will be ruined\n  start_ms: 74030\n  end_ms: 76080\n- text: Once again by your explosive flatulence\n  start_ms: 76080\n  end_ms: 78760\n- text: Your love life will run into trouble\n  start_ms: 78760\n  end_ms: 80940\n- text: When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n  start_ms: 80940\n  end_ms: 83860\n- text: Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n  start_ms: 83860\n  end_ms: 86010\n- text: You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n  start_ms: 86010\n  end_ms: 89660\n- text: Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n  start_ms: 89660\n  end_ms: 94180\n- text: Leo\n  start_ms: 94180\n  end_ms: 94560\n- text: Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n  start_ms: 94560\n  end_ms: 97050\n- text: And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n  start_ms: 97050\n  end_ms: 99630\n- text: Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n  start_ms: 99630\n  end_ms: 101540\n- text: Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n  start_ms: 101540\n  end_ms: 104800\n- text: Virgo\n  start_ms: 104800\n  end_ms: 105380\n- text: All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n  start_ms: 105380\n  end_ms: 109940\n- text: Expect a big surprise today\n  start_ms: 109940\n  end_ms: 112390\n- text: When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n  start_ms: 112390\n  end_ms: 115230\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 115230\n  end_ms: 120380\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 120380\n  end_ms: 125610\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 125610\n  end_ms: 130770\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 130770\n  end_ms: 133960\n- text: Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n  start_ms: 133960\n  end_ms: 138970\n- text: The relative position of the planets and the stars\n  start_ms: 138970\n  end_ms: 141320\n- text: Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n  start_ms: 141320\n  end_ms: 143460\n- text: That exclusively applies to only you\n  start_ms: 143460\n  end_ms: 145140\n- text: But, let me give you my assurance that\n  start_ms: 145140\n  end_ms: 146730\n- text: These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n  start_ms: 146730\n  end_ms: 148440\n- text: Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n  start_ms: 148440\n  end_ms: 150600\n- text: So you would have to be some kind of moron\n  start_ms: 150600\n  end_ms: 152300\n- text: Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n  start_ms: 152300\n  end_ms: 155420\n- text: Where was I?\n  start_ms: 155420\n  end_ms: 156020\n- text: Libra\n  start_ms: 156020\n  end_ms: 156430\n- text: A big promotion is just around\n  start_ms: 156430\n  end_ms: 158390\n- text: The corner for someone much more talented than you\n  start_ms: 158390\n  end_ms: 161390\n- text: Laughter is the very best medicine\n  start_ms: 161390\n  end_ms: 163470\n- text: Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n  start_ms: 163470\n  end_ms: 166350\n- text: Scorpio, get ready for an\n  start_ms: 166350\n  end_ms: 167510\n- text: Unexpected trip\n  start_ms: 167510\n  end_ms: 168930\n- text: When you fall screaming from an open window\n  start_ms: 168930\n  end_ms: 171540\n- text: Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n  start_ms: 171540\n  end_ms: 176460\n- text: Sagittarius\n  start_ms: 176460\n  end_ms: 177290\n- text: All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n  start_ms: 177290\n  end_ms: 181990\n- text: Take down all those naked pictures of\n  start_ms: 181990\n  end_ms: 184000\n- text: Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n  start_ms: 184000\n  end_ms: 186890\n- text: Capricorn\n  start_ms: 186890\n  end_ms: 187560\n- text: The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n  start_ms: 187560\n  end_ms: 191150\n- text: But, you know they're lying\n  start_ms: 191150\n  end_ms: 192400\n- text: If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n  start_ms: 192400\n  end_ms: 194290\n- text: And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n  start_ms: 194290\n  end_ms: 197430\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 197430\n  end_ms: 202800\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 202800\n  end_ms: 207960\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 207960\n  end_ms: 213190\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 213190\n  end_ms: 218370\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 218370\n  end_ms: 223590\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 223590\n  end_ms: 228640\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n  start_ms: 228640\n  end_ms: 233600\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 233600\n  end_ms: 237110\n- text: ''\n  start_ms: 237110\nplain: |-\n  Aquarius\n  There's travel in your future\n  When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n  Fill that void in your pathetic life\n  By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n\n  Pisces\n  Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n  You are the true Lord of the dance\n  No matter what those idiots at work say\n\n  Aries\n  The look on your face will be priceless\n  When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n  Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n\n  Taurus\n  You will never find true happiness\n  What you gonna do, cry about it?\n  The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n  Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n\n  Gemini\n  Your birthday party will be ruined\n  Once again by your explosive flatulence\n  Your love life will run into trouble\n  When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n\n  Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n  You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n  Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n\n  Leo\n  Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n  And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n  Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n  Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n\n  Virgo\n  All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n  Expect a big surprise today\n  When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n\n  Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n  The relative position of the planets and the stars\n  Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n  That exclusively applies to only you\n\n  But, let me give you my assurance that\n  These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n  Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n  So you would have to be some kind of moron\n  Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n\n  Where was I?\n\n  Libra\n  A big promotion is just around\n  The corner for someone much more talented than you\n  Laughter is the very best medicine\n  Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n\n  Scorpio, get ready for an\n  Unexpected trip\n  When you fall screaming from an open window\n  Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n\n  Sagittarius\n  All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n  Take down all those naked pictures of\n  Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n\n  Capricorn\n  The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n  But, you know they're lying\n  If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n  And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n"},{"id":26876575,"name":"Your Horoscope For Today","trackName":"Your Horoscope For Today","artistName":"\"Weird Al\" Yankovic","albumName":"The Essential \"Weird Al\" Yankovic: Limited Edition 3.0","duration":239.0,"instrumental":false,"hasWordSync":false,"plainLyrics":"Aquarius\nThere's travel in your future\nWhen your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\nFill that void in your pathetic life\nBy playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n\nPisces\nTry to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\nYou are the true Lord of the dance\nNo matter what those idiots at work say\n\nAries\nThe look on your face will be priceless\nWhen you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\nTrade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n\nTaurus\nYou will never find true happiness\nWhat you gonna do, cry about it?\nThe stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\nDo a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n\nGemini\nYour birthday party will be ruined\nOnce again by your explosive flatulence\nYour love life will run into trouble\nWhen your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n\nCancer, the position of Jupiter says that\nYou should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\nTry not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n\nLeo\nNow is not a good time to photocopy your butt\nAnd staple it to your bosses face, oh no\nEat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\nThen wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n\nVirgo\nAll Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\nExpect a big surprise today\nWhen you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\n\nNow you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\nThe relative position of the planets and the stars\nCould have a special deep significance or meaning\nThat exclusively applies to only you\n\nBut, let me give you my assurance that\nThese forecasts and predictions are all based on\nSolid, scientific, documented evidence\nSo you would have to be some kind of moron\nNot to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n\nWhere was I?\n\nLibra\nA big promotion is just around\nThe corner for someone much more talented than you\nLaughter is the very best medicine\nRemember that when your appendix bursts next week\n\nScorpio, get ready for an\nUnexpected trip\nWhen you fall screaming from an open window\nWork a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n\nSagittarius\nAll your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\nTake down all those naked pictures of\nErnest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n\nCapricorn\nThe stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\nBut, you know they're lying\nIf I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\nAnd never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\nThat's your horoscope for today","syncedLyrics":"[00:10.94] Aquarius\n[00:12.19] There's travel in your future\n[00:13.34] When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n[00:17.38] Fill that void in your pathetic life\n[00:19.54] By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n[00:22.24] Pisces\n[00:22.99] Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n[00:27.50] You are the true Lord of the dance\n[00:30.35] No matter what those idiots at work say\n[00:32.24] Aries\n[00:32.71] The look on your face will be priceless\n[00:34.54] When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n[00:38.46] Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n[00:42.55] Taurus\n[00:42.95] You will never find true happiness\n[00:45.30] What you gonna do, cry about it?\n[00:48.07] The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n[00:50.41] Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n[00:53.39] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[00:58.76] That's your horoscope for today\n[01:03.88] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[01:08.97] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[01:12.62] Gemini\n[01:14.03] Your birthday party will be ruined\n[01:16.08] Once again by your explosive flatulence\n[01:18.76] Your love life will run into trouble\n[01:20.94] When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n[01:23.86] Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n[01:26.01] You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n[01:29.66] Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n[01:34.18] Leo\n[01:34.56] Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n[01:37.05] And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n[01:39.63] Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n[01:41.54] Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n[01:44.80] Virgo\n[01:45.38] All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n[01:49.94] Expect a big surprise today\n[01:52.39] When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n[01:55.23] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[02:00.38] That's your horoscope for today\n[02:05.61] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[02:10.77] That's your horoscope for today\n[02:13.96] Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n[02:18.97] The relative position of the planets and the stars\n[02:21.32] Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n[02:23.46] That exclusively applies to only you\n[02:25.14] But, let me give you my assurance that\n[02:26.73] These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n[02:28.44] Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n[02:30.60] So you would have to be some kind of moron\n[02:32.30] Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n[02:35.42] Where was I?\n[02:36.02] Libra\n[02:36.43] A big promotion is just around\n[02:38.39] The corner for someone much more talented than you\n[02:41.39] Laughter is the very best medicine\n[02:43.47] Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n[02:46.35] Scorpio, get ready for an\n[02:47.51] Unexpected trip\n[02:48.93] When you fall screaming from an open window\n[02:51.54] Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n[02:56.46] Sagittarius\n[02:57.29] All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n[03:01.99] Take down all those naked pictures of\n[03:04.00] Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n[03:06.89] Capricorn\n[03:07.56] The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n[03:11.15] But, you know they're lying\n[03:12.40] If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n[03:14.29] And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n[03:17.43] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:22.80] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:27.96] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:33.19] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:38.37] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:43.59] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:48.64] That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n[03:53.60] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:57.11] ","lyricsfile":"version: '1.0'\nmetadata:\n  title: Your Horoscope For Today\n  artist: '\"Weird Al\" Yankovic'\n  album: 'The Essential \"Weird Al\" Yankovic: Limited Edition 3.0'\n  duration_ms: 239000\n  instrumental: false\nlines:\n- text: Aquarius\n  start_ms: 10940\n  end_ms: 12190\n- text: There's travel in your future\n  start_ms: 12190\n  end_ms: 13340\n- text: When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n  start_ms: 13340\n  end_ms: 17380\n- text: Fill that void in your pathetic life\n  start_ms: 17380\n  end_ms: 19540\n- text: By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n  start_ms: 19540\n  end_ms: 22240\n- text: Pisces\n  start_ms: 22240\n  end_ms: 22990\n- text: Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n  start_ms: 22990\n  end_ms: 27500\n- text: You are the true Lord of the dance\n  start_ms: 27500\n  end_ms: 30350\n- text: No matter what those idiots at work say\n  start_ms: 30350\n  end_ms: 32240\n- text: Aries\n  start_ms: 32240\n  end_ms: 32710\n- text: The look on your face will be priceless\n  start_ms: 32710\n  end_ms: 34540\n- text: When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n  start_ms: 34540\n  end_ms: 38460\n- text: Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n  start_ms: 38460\n  end_ms: 42550\n- text: Taurus\n  start_ms: 42550\n  end_ms: 42950\n- text: You will never find true happiness\n  start_ms: 42950\n  end_ms: 45300\n- text: What you gonna do, cry about it?\n  start_ms: 45300\n  end_ms: 48070\n- text: The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n  start_ms: 48070\n  end_ms: 50410\n- text: Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n  start_ms: 50410\n  end_ms: 53390\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 53390\n  end_ms: 58760\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 58760\n  end_ms: 63880\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 63880\n  end_ms: 68970\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 68970\n  end_ms: 72620\n- text: Gemini\n  start_ms: 72620\n  end_ms: 74030\n- text: Your birthday party will be ruined\n  start_ms: 74030\n  end_ms: 76080\n- text: Once again by your explosive flatulence\n  start_ms: 76080\n  end_ms: 78760\n- text: Your love life will run into trouble\n  start_ms: 78760\n  end_ms: 80940\n- text: When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n  start_ms: 80940\n  end_ms: 83860\n- text: Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n  start_ms: 83860\n  end_ms: 86010\n- text: You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n  start_ms: 86010\n  end_ms: 89660\n- text: Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n  start_ms: 89660\n  end_ms: 94180\n- text: Leo\n  start_ms: 94180\n  end_ms: 94560\n- text: Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n  start_ms: 94560\n  end_ms: 97050\n- text: And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n  start_ms: 97050\n  end_ms: 99630\n- text: Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n  start_ms: 99630\n  end_ms: 101540\n- text: Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n  start_ms: 101540\n  end_ms: 104800\n- text: Virgo\n  start_ms: 104800\n  end_ms: 105380\n- text: All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n  start_ms: 105380\n  end_ms: 109940\n- text: Expect a big surprise today\n  start_ms: 109940\n  end_ms: 112390\n- text: When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n  start_ms: 112390\n  end_ms: 115230\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 115230\n  end_ms: 120380\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 120380\n  end_ms: 125610\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 125610\n  end_ms: 130770\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 130770\n  end_ms: 133960\n- text: Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n  start_ms: 133960\n  end_ms: 138970\n- text: The relative position of the planets and the stars\n  start_ms: 138970\n  end_ms: 141320\n- text: Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n  start_ms: 141320\n  end_ms: 143460\n- text: That exclusively applies to only you\n  start_ms: 143460\n  end_ms: 145140\n- text: But, let me give you my assurance that\n  start_ms: 145140\n  end_ms: 146730\n- text: These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n  start_ms: 146730\n  end_ms: 148440\n- text: Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n  start_ms: 148440\n  end_ms: 150600\n- text: So you would have to be some kind of moron\n  start_ms: 150600\n  end_ms: 152300\n- text: Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n  start_ms: 152300\n  end_ms: 155420\n- text: Where was I?\n  start_ms: 155420\n  end_ms: 156020\n- text: Libra\n  start_ms: 156020\n  end_ms: 156430\n- text: A big promotion is just around\n  start_ms: 156430\n  end_ms: 158390\n- text: The corner for someone much more talented than you\n  start_ms: 158390\n  end_ms: 161390\n- text: Laughter is the very best medicine\n  start_ms: 161390\n  end_ms: 163470\n- text: Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n  start_ms: 163470\n  end_ms: 166350\n- text: Scorpio, get ready for an\n  start_ms: 166350\n  end_ms: 167510\n- text: Unexpected trip\n  start_ms: 167510\n  end_ms: 168930\n- text: When you fall screaming from an open window\n  start_ms: 168930\n  end_ms: 171540\n- text: Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n  start_ms: 171540\n  end_ms: 176460\n- text: Sagittarius\n  start_ms: 176460\n  end_ms: 177290\n- text: All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n  start_ms: 177290\n  end_ms: 181990\n- text: Take down all those naked pictures of\n  start_ms: 181990\n  end_ms: 184000\n- text: Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n  start_ms: 184000\n  end_ms: 186890\n- text: Capricorn\n  start_ms: 186890\n  end_ms: 187560\n- text: The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n  start_ms: 187560\n  end_ms: 191150\n- text: But, you know they're lying\n  start_ms: 191150\n  end_ms: 192400\n- text: If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n  start_ms: 192400\n  end_ms: 194290\n- text: And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n  start_ms: 194290\n  end_ms: 197430\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 197430\n  end_ms: 202800\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 202800\n  end_ms: 207960\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 207960\n  end_ms: 213190\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 213190\n  end_ms: 218370\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 218370\n  end_ms: 223590\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 223590\n  end_ms: 228640\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n  start_ms: 228640\n  end_ms: 233600\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 233600\n  end_ms: 237110\n- text: ''\n  start_ms: 237110\nplain: |-\n  Aquarius\n  There's travel in your future\n  When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n  Fill that void in your pathetic life\n  By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n\n  Pisces\n  Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n  You are the true Lord of the dance\n  No matter what those idiots at work say\n\n  Aries\n  The look on your face will be priceless\n  When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n  Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n\n  Taurus\n  You will never find true happiness\n  What you gonna do, cry about it?\n  The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n  Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n\n  Gemini\n  Your birthday party will be ruined\n  Once again by your explosive flatulence\n  Your love life will run into trouble\n  When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n\n  Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n  You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n  Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n\n  Leo\n  Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n  And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n  Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n  Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n\n  Virgo\n  All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n  Expect a big surprise today\n  When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n\n  Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n  The relative position of the planets and the stars\n  Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n  That exclusively applies to only you\n\n  But, let me give you my assurance that\n  These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n  Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n  So you would have to be some kind of moron\n  Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n\n  Where was I?\n\n  Libra\n  A big promotion is just around\n  The corner for someone much more talented than you\n  Laughter is the very best medicine\n  Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n\n  Scorpio, get ready for an\n  Unexpected trip\n  When you fall screaming from an open window\n  Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n\n  Sagittarius\n  All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n  Take down all those naked pictures of\n  Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n\n  Capricorn\n  The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n  But, you know they're lying\n  If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n  And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n"},{"id":18665434,"name":"Your Horoscope for Today","trackName":"Your Horoscope for Today","artistName":"Weird Al Yankovic","albumName":"The Essential \"Weird Al\"","duration":240.746667,"instrumental":false,"hasWordSync":false,"plainLyrics":"Aquarius\nThere's travel in your future\nWhen your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\nFill that void in your pathetic life\nBy playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n\nPisces\nTry to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\nYou are the true Lord of the dance\nNo matter what those idiots at work say\n\nAries\nThe look on your face will be priceless\nWhen you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\nTrade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n\nTaurus\nYou will never find true happiness\nWhat you gonna do, cry about it?\nThe stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\nDo a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n\nGemini\nYour birthday party will be ruined\nOnce again by your explosive flatulence\nYour love life will run into trouble\nWhen your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n\nCancer, the position of Jupiter says that\nYou should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\nTry not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n\nLeo\nNow is not a good time to photocopy your butt\nAnd staple it to your bosses face, oh no\nEat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\nThen wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n\nVirgo\nAll Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\nExpect a big surprise today\nWhen you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\n\nNow you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\nThe relative position of the planets and the stars\nCould have a special deep significance or meaning\nThat exclusively applies to only you\n\nBut, let me give you my assurance that\nThese forecasts and predictions are all based on\nSolid, scientific, documented evidence\nSo you would have to be some kind of moron\nNot to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n\nWhere was I?\n\nLibra\nA big promotion is just around\nThe corner for someone much more talented than you\nLaughter is the very best medicine\nRemember that when your appendix bursts next week\n\nScorpio, get ready for an\nUnexpected trip\nWhen you fall screaming from an open window\nWork a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n\nSagittarius\nAll your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\nTake down all those naked pictures of\nErnest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n\nCapricorn\nThe stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\nBut, you know they're lying\nIf I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\nAnd never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\nThat's your horoscope for today","syncedLyrics":null,"lyricsfile":"version: '1.0'\nmetadata:\n  title: Your Horoscope for Today\n  artist: Weird Al Yankovic\n  album: The Essential \"Weird Al\"\n  duration_ms: 240747\n  instrumental: false\nlines: []\nplain: |-\n  Aquarius\n  There's travel in your future\n  When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n  Fill that void in your pathetic life\n  By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n\n  Pisces\n  Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n  You are the true Lord of the dance\n  No matter what those idiots at work say\n\n  Aries\n  The look on your face will be priceless\n  When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n  Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n\n  Taurus\n  You will never find true happiness\n  What you gonna do, cry about it?\n  The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n  Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n\n  Gemini\n  Your birthday party will be ruined\n  Once again by your explosive flatulence\n  Your love life will run into trouble\n  When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n\n  Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n  You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n  Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n\n  Leo\n  Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n  And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n  Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n  Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n\n  Virgo\n  All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n  Expect a big surprise today\n  When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n\n  Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n  The relative position of the planets and the stars\n  Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n  That exclusively applies to only you\n\n  But, let me give you my assurance that\n  These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n  Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n  So you would have to be some kind of moron\n  Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n\n  Where was I?\n\n  Libra\n  A big promotion is just around\n  The corner for someone much more talented than you\n  Laughter is the very best medicine\n  Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n\n  Scorpio, get ready for an\n  Unexpected trip\n  When you fall screaming from an open window\n  Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n\n  Sagittarius\n  All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n  Take down all those naked pictures of\n  Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n\n  Capricorn\n  The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n  But, you know they're lying\n  If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n  And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n"},{"id":32507486,"name":"Your Horoscope For Today","trackName":"Your Horoscope For Today","artistName":"\"Weird Al\" Yankovic","albumName":"The Essential Wierd Al Yankovic","duration":241.0,"instrumental":false,"hasWordSync":false,"plainLyrics":"Aquarius\nThere's travel in your future\nWhen your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\nFill that void in your pathetic life\nBy playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n\nPisces\nTry to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\nYou are the true Lord of the dance\nNo matter what those idiots at work say\n\nAries\nThe look on your face will be priceless\nWhen you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\nTrade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n\nTaurus\nYou will never find true happiness\nWhat you gonna do, cry about it?\nThe stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\nDo a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n\nGemini\nYour birthday party will be ruined\nOnce again by your explosive flatulence\nYour love life will run into trouble\nWhen your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n\nCancer, the position of Jupiter says that\nYou should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\nTry not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n\nLeo\nNow is not a good time to photocopy your butt\nAnd staple it to your bosses face, oh no\nEat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\nThen wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n\nVirgo\nAll Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\nExpect a big surprise today\nWhen you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\n\nNow you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\nThe relative position of the planets and the stars\nCould have a special deep significance or meaning\nThat exclusively applies to only you\n\nBut, let me give you my assurance that\nThese forecasts and predictions are all based on\nSolid, scientific, documented evidence\nSo you would have to be some kind of moron\nNot to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n\nWhere was I?\n\nLibra\nA big promotion is just around\nThe corner for someone much more talented than you\nLaughter is the very best medicine\nRemember that when your appendix bursts next week\n\nScorpio, get ready for an\nUnexpected trip\nWhen you fall screaming from an open window\nWork a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n\nSagittarius\nAll your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\nTake down all those naked pictures of\nErnest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n\nCapricorn\nThe stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\nBut, you know they're lying\nIf I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\nAnd never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\n\nThat's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\nThat's your horoscope for today\nThat's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\nThat's your horoscope for today","syncedLyrics":"[00:10.94] Aquarius\n[00:12.19] There's travel in your future\n[00:13.34] When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n[00:17.38] Fill that void in your pathetic life\n[00:19.54] By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n[00:22.24] Pisces\n[00:22.99] Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n[00:27.50] You are the true Lord of the dance\n[00:30.35] No matter what those idiots at work say\n[00:32.24] Aries\n[00:32.71] The look on your face will be priceless\n[00:34.54] When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n[00:38.46] Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n[00:42.55] Taurus\n[00:42.95] You will never find true happiness\n[00:45.30] What you gonna do, cry about it?\n[00:48.07] The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n[00:50.41] Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n[00:53.39] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[00:58.76] That's your horoscope for today\n[01:03.88] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[01:08.97] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[01:12.62] Gemini\n[01:14.03] Your birthday party will be ruined\n[01:16.08] Once again by your explosive flatulence\n[01:18.76] Your love life will run into trouble\n[01:20.94] When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n[01:23.86] Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n[01:26.01] You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n[01:29.66] Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n[01:34.18] Leo\n[01:34.56] Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n[01:37.05] And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n[01:39.63] Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n[01:41.54] Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n[01:44.80] Virgo\n[01:45.38] All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n[01:49.94] Expect a big surprise today\n[01:52.39] When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n[01:55.23] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[02:00.38] That's your horoscope for today\n[02:05.61] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[02:10.77] That's your horoscope for today\n[02:13.96] Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n[02:18.97] The relative position of the planets and the stars\n[02:21.32] Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n[02:23.46] That exclusively applies to only you\n[02:25.14] But, let me give you my assurance that\n[02:26.73] These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n[02:28.44] Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n[02:30.60] So you would have to be some kind of moron\n[02:32.30] Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n[02:35.42] Where was I?\n[02:36.02] Libra\n[02:36.43] A big promotion is just around\n[02:38.39] The corner for someone much more talented than you\n[02:41.39] Laughter is the very best medicine\n[02:43.47] Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n[02:46.35] Scorpio, get ready for an\n[02:47.51] Unexpected trip\n[02:48.93] When you fall screaming from an open window\n[02:51.54] Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n[02:56.46] Sagittarius\n[02:57.29] All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n[03:01.99] Take down all those naked pictures of\n[03:04.00] Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n[03:06.89] Capricorn\n[03:07.56] The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n[03:11.15] But, you know they're lying\n[03:12.40] If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n[03:14.29] And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n[03:17.43] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:22.80] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:27.96] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:33.19] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:38.37] That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n[03:43.59] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:48.64] That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n[03:53.60] That's your horoscope for today\n[03:57.11] ","lyricsfile":"version: '1.0'\nmetadata:\n  title: Your Horoscope For Today\n  artist: '\"Weird Al\" Yankovic'\n  album: The Essential Wierd Al Yankovic\n  duration_ms: 241000\n  instrumental: false\nlines:\n- text: Aquarius\n  start_ms: 10940\n  end_ms: 12190\n- text: There's travel in your future\n  start_ms: 12190\n  end_ms: 13340\n- text: When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n  start_ms: 13340\n  end_ms: 17380\n- text: Fill that void in your pathetic life\n  start_ms: 17380\n  end_ms: 19540\n- text: By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n  start_ms: 19540\n  end_ms: 22240\n- text: Pisces\n  start_ms: 22240\n  end_ms: 22990\n- text: Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n  start_ms: 22990\n  end_ms: 27500\n- text: You are the true Lord of the dance\n  start_ms: 27500\n  end_ms: 30350\n- text: No matter what those idiots at work say\n  start_ms: 30350\n  end_ms: 32240\n- text: Aries\n  start_ms: 32240\n  end_ms: 32710\n- text: The look on your face will be priceless\n  start_ms: 32710\n  end_ms: 34540\n- text: When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n  start_ms: 34540\n  end_ms: 38460\n- text: Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n  start_ms: 38460\n  end_ms: 42550\n- text: Taurus\n  start_ms: 42550\n  end_ms: 42950\n- text: You will never find true happiness\n  start_ms: 42950\n  end_ms: 45300\n- text: What you gonna do, cry about it?\n  start_ms: 45300\n  end_ms: 48070\n- text: The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n  start_ms: 48070\n  end_ms: 50410\n- text: Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n  start_ms: 50410\n  end_ms: 53390\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 53390\n  end_ms: 58760\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 58760\n  end_ms: 63880\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 63880\n  end_ms: 68970\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 68970\n  end_ms: 72620\n- text: Gemini\n  start_ms: 72620\n  end_ms: 74030\n- text: Your birthday party will be ruined\n  start_ms: 74030\n  end_ms: 76080\n- text: Once again by your explosive flatulence\n  start_ms: 76080\n  end_ms: 78760\n- text: Your love life will run into trouble\n  start_ms: 78760\n  end_ms: 80940\n- text: When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n  start_ms: 80940\n  end_ms: 83860\n- text: Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n  start_ms: 83860\n  end_ms: 86010\n- text: You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n  start_ms: 86010\n  end_ms: 89660\n- text: Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n  start_ms: 89660\n  end_ms: 94180\n- text: Leo\n  start_ms: 94180\n  end_ms: 94560\n- text: Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n  start_ms: 94560\n  end_ms: 97050\n- text: And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n  start_ms: 97050\n  end_ms: 99630\n- text: Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n  start_ms: 99630\n  end_ms: 101540\n- text: Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n  start_ms: 101540\n  end_ms: 104800\n- text: Virgo\n  start_ms: 104800\n  end_ms: 105380\n- text: All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n  start_ms: 105380\n  end_ms: 109940\n- text: Expect a big surprise today\n  start_ms: 109940\n  end_ms: 112390\n- text: When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n  start_ms: 112390\n  end_ms: 115230\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 115230\n  end_ms: 120380\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 120380\n  end_ms: 125610\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 125610\n  end_ms: 130770\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 130770\n  end_ms: 133960\n- text: Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n  start_ms: 133960\n  end_ms: 138970\n- text: The relative position of the planets and the stars\n  start_ms: 138970\n  end_ms: 141320\n- text: Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n  start_ms: 141320\n  end_ms: 143460\n- text: That exclusively applies to only you\n  start_ms: 143460\n  end_ms: 145140\n- text: But, let me give you my assurance that\n  start_ms: 145140\n  end_ms: 146730\n- text: These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n  start_ms: 146730\n  end_ms: 148440\n- text: Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n  start_ms: 148440\n  end_ms: 150600\n- text: So you would have to be some kind of moron\n  start_ms: 150600\n  end_ms: 152300\n- text: Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n  start_ms: 152300\n  end_ms: 155420\n- text: Where was I?\n  start_ms: 155420\n  end_ms: 156020\n- text: Libra\n  start_ms: 156020\n  end_ms: 156430\n- text: A big promotion is just around\n  start_ms: 156430\n  end_ms: 158390\n- text: The corner for someone much more talented than you\n  start_ms: 158390\n  end_ms: 161390\n- text: Laughter is the very best medicine\n  start_ms: 161390\n  end_ms: 163470\n- text: Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n  start_ms: 163470\n  end_ms: 166350\n- text: Scorpio, get ready for an\n  start_ms: 166350\n  end_ms: 167510\n- text: Unexpected trip\n  start_ms: 167510\n  end_ms: 168930\n- text: When you fall screaming from an open window\n  start_ms: 168930\n  end_ms: 171540\n- text: Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n  start_ms: 171540\n  end_ms: 176460\n- text: Sagittarius\n  start_ms: 176460\n  end_ms: 177290\n- text: All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n  start_ms: 177290\n  end_ms: 181990\n- text: Take down all those naked pictures of\n  start_ms: 181990\n  end_ms: 184000\n- text: Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n  start_ms: 184000\n  end_ms: 186890\n- text: Capricorn\n  start_ms: 186890\n  end_ms: 187560\n- text: The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n  start_ms: 187560\n  end_ms: 191150\n- text: But, you know they're lying\n  start_ms: 191150\n  end_ms: 192400\n- text: If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n  start_ms: 192400\n  end_ms: 194290\n- text: And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n  start_ms: 194290\n  end_ms: 197430\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 197430\n  end_ms: 202800\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 202800\n  end_ms: 207960\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 207960\n  end_ms: 213190\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 213190\n  end_ms: 218370\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  start_ms: 218370\n  end_ms: 223590\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 223590\n  end_ms: 228640\n- text: That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n  start_ms: 228640\n  end_ms: 233600\n- text: That's your horoscope for today\n  start_ms: 233600\n  end_ms: 237110\n- text: ''\n  start_ms: 237110\nplain: |-\n  Aquarius\n  There's travel in your future\n  When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus\n  Fill that void in your pathetic life\n  By playing whack-a-mole 17 hours a day\n\n  Pisces\n  Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus\n  You are the true Lord of the dance\n  No matter what those idiots at work say\n\n  Aries\n  The look on your face will be priceless\n  When you find that 40 pound watermelon in your colon\n  Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep\n\n  Taurus\n  You will never find true happiness\n  What you gonna do, cry about it?\n  The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up\n  Do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n\n  Gemini\n  Your birthday party will be ruined\n  Once again by your explosive flatulence\n  Your love life will run into trouble\n  When your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest\n\n  Cancer, the position of Jupiter says that\n  You should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud\n  Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test\n\n  Leo\n  Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt\n  And staple it to your bosses face, oh no\n  Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding\n  Then wash it down with a gallon of Strawberry Quik\n\n  Virgo\n  All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent, except for you\n  Expect a big surprise today\n  When you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n\n  Now you may find it inconceivable or rather very least a bit unlikely that\n  The relative position of the planets and the stars\n  Could have a special deep significance or meaning\n  That exclusively applies to only you\n\n  But, let me give you my assurance that\n  These forecasts and predictions are all based on\n  Solid, scientific, documented evidence\n  So you would have to be some kind of moron\n  Not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true\n\n  Where was I?\n\n  Libra\n  A big promotion is just around\n  The corner for someone much more talented than you\n  Laughter is the very best medicine\n  Remember that when your appendix bursts next week\n\n  Scorpio, get ready for an\n  Unexpected trip\n  When you fall screaming from an open window\n  Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak\n\n  Sagittarius\n  All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)\n  Take down all those naked pictures of\n  Ernest Borgnine, you've got hanging in your den\n\n  Capricorn\n  The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person\n  But, you know they're lying\n  If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows\n  And never, never, never, never, never leave my house again\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n\n  That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n  That's your horoscope for today (yay, yay, yay, yay, yay)\n  That's your horoscope for today\n"}]